- 5 years ago
- Wedding: January 2010
I’m new here, I have been googling and reading a lot of threads regarding infants at adult only weddings, and people seem pretty split. Here’s the situation I’m in (sorry if it’s a little long).
First off I am a groomsman in one of my best friends wedding. There are 6 of us that are very close friends. We grew up together and have all been friends 10+ years. 3 of us in the group now have children. Our one friend who is getting married is having an adults only wedding. One of our friends has a 4 month old, and the mother cannot leave the child for the wedding. So they have declined the invitation. This made the groom and his family angry (“why can’t the dad just come and leave the family at home?”). My friend told them that they made the rules, he’s just following them. I thought he handled it very well. I am in a somewhat similar situation.
I am closer to the groom than my other friend is. My brother and his wife, and my parents have been invited to the wedding as well. I am in the wedding party. We initially told the B&G that we are bringing our baby (2 months old) to the wedding, but we heard through the grapevine that they weren’t too happy about it. So we sent an email asking if there was any problem with it. Also mentioning that if the baby can’t come, neither can my wife. We haven’t got a response yet, but I am wondering how to handle the situation if they don’t want our child at the wedding. If my wife and baby can’t go, I don’t really want to be there either. Although I am in the wedding party and don’t want to bail on the B&G either. The wedding is less than a month away now, so I wouldn’t back out on them.
I know that if my child isn’t wanted at the wedding, then my parents and brother likely would not attend either. My family is rather traditional and would definitley take offense to this. I also take offense that they would be willing to not have my wife attend, she is also very close to the B&G. We’ve spent vacations together, and we hang out a lot.
It’s their day, they can have what they want, but I want them to realize what their wishes may bring. It’s already at the point where my wife feels like she isn’t wanted there. And I know if our baby isn’t wanted there my wife (and I to a lesser extent me) will be offended.
Regardless of their decision I do plan on talking to the grooms best man/brother (who is another of the 6 close friends). Also just the fact that the 6 of us are such close friends and the B&G are willing to have one of us not attend boggles my mind. Obviously I’m not going to tell them what to do, but I want to make sure they understand the reprecussions of their descisions.
And I know if someone doesn’t have kids, it’s almost impossible to fully understand.
Any opinions/thoughts are welcome