Post # 1
After reading many posts regarding reactions to “adult” only receptions, I have a question.
My ideal would be no children at our wedding. However, we are having all of our neices and nephews in the wedding (5 total), so they will be invited to the reception. We also have a few cousins under 18. That is all OK with me. They are family, and I know they will be behaved.
I dont want to put “adult only reception” on my invitation, but I also dont want people to bring their kids, and will not be including them in our guest count. we are having the reception at a VERY elegant hotel and would rather not pay $115+ for children whom I have never met or only met once to attend.
If on our invite we say that “we have reserved 2 seats in your honor”, would a couple get the hint that their kids are not invited? Or do I need to be more explicit?
Frankly, I dont mind if people with small children dont come beacause their kids are not invited. I expect declines for that reason. That is their choice. None of the people that Fiance and I truely care about will be in that group.
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
@Bridebee13: Put the names right on the reply card. Then there is no question about it 🙂 Use peoples names on the envelope as well. That way there should be no confusion.
Post # 4
@laceydoilies: great idea, thanks!
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
@Bridebee13: You’re welcome! I think invitations cause the most stress and confusion.
Post # 6
We’re doing the same thing, nieces and nephews only, but all I’m doing is putting the names on the envelope of who’s invited. No “& Family” = no kids. I did already get one question about a cousin’s kid and we just said, nope, sorry.
Post # 7
We are addressing the envelopes to “Mr. John Smith & Mrs. Jane Smith” and also doing the number of seats thing on the RSVP. I think doing both of those will make it pretty clear. The only reason we’re not putting names right on the reply card is so if only one of them can come they would write in their name and check “Attending”. If the reply card already said both names it would appear that both are attending.
Post # 8
@Bridebee13: i have been to many weddings where i was invited and my child was not. this includes weddings of family and friends. i never expected my son to be invited but i know that maybe some people will feel differently.
i invited friends to my wedding and never included their children. they did not inquire to me if they could bring their children. honestly, in all my years, i’ve never been to a wedding where this was even an issue.
Post # 9
I think that’s good. They should get the hint but I bet you’ll get a number of guests asking if their kids are invited and if they can bring them.
Post # 10
@Bridebee13: We put the names on the Invite and put “We have reserved two seats in your honor”. For the most part, people understood, but we did have to call a few people who added their kids to the RSVP.
Post # 11
@Bridebee13: I don’t think you can get more explicit than that without being rude yourself.
Post # 12
We put only the names of those who were invited, on the Save-the-Date envelopes. It will be the same for the invitations. We are not using returnable RSVP cards.
We are using online RSVP, through The Knot, and we are entering the names of those invited, into the RSVP function. They’ll get an error message, if they try to enter a name that is not on the invitation, and we’ll get an e-mail, for each response. My sister used the system, and all but 2 guests managed to RSVP 10 days before the due date; most came in the first 2 weeks after getting the invitation.
Post # 13
Most people should get the hint if you have the number of seats and only their names. But… from experience reading WB, there is usually one person who just doesn’t get it so be prepared!
Post # 14
@Soon_to_be_wed: That always baffles me. If an invitation is addressed to me, I assume it’s not okay to bring someone not on the invitation.
Post # 15
@laceydoilies: What about people with babies though, that is what I am afraid of…. so say you say… we have 2 seats reserved in your honor. Well if you have a baby, they don’t “need a seat”
And I am afraid if I don’t put on the invitation, “An Adults Only Event” people will be like well you didn’t say kids can’t come…Oh lawd…I can see it now…well your invitation didn’t say no babies (says all my friends with little babies)
Which I realize some people will think its rude, but honestly I think it would make people more excited to come bc there won’t be kiddies running around lol
Post # 16
@Bridebee13: Read what I wrote above this comment…What about babies? They don’t need seats necessarily…