Post # 1
I wasn’t sure where to post this, but feel free to move if needed… Sorry if it’s long!
So we’ve decided that we would like the ceremony and reception to have “no kids”. So far, the only exception that we’re making is for my 3 1st cousins that are between the ages of 5-12 (they are my only 1st cousins and Fiance is inviting all of his. And, even if we didn’t “invite” them, my Aunt would bring them anyway). Otherwise, some guests that have a child under 1 (more of FI’s friends and family are popping out kids now) will probably just bring them without telling us, which we won’t fuss about.
Here’s our dilemma now:
FI’s best friends have two daughters (8 and 10 yrs) that are FI’s “godchildren” (though in this case, it has nothing to do with religion since the family isn’t of any denomination and the girls have never been baptized, it’s just a title) and they’ve grown up with him around. He’s gone to most of their birthday parties and some of their recitals. They only live a couple miles down the road, so Fiance is over at their house quite often and his friend and him work together as well.
Our problem: These girls are little terrors. We can both see them making scenes and the parents only discipline them in the form of yelling, or talking sternly in a loud voice. We don’t want that at our wedding.
At first, Fiance didn’t want to invite them, but I said that the wife/mother would get VERY angry/upset if they weren’t and make comments about how they’ve grown up with him, etc. She is the type of person that you never know when she will decide to hold a grudge against you and not speak to you for who knows how long, over god knows what. And this could become a tough situation, as I stated before, Fiance and best buddy work together. On the farm. So it’s not an office 9-5 job where you can avoid the wife and family.
Fiance and I have been discussing it and also with Future Mother-In-Law and still aren’t sure what to do… Future Mother-In-Law suggested that Fiance straight out ask his friend whether he would like the girls to come and let him and the wife/mother decide. They have the type of friendship that Fiance could ask this, but I think the wife will automatically say the girls HAVE to be there.
So bees… what is a young bee to do??
Post # 3
Sounds to me like you’re not really having a no-kids event, to be honest. You’re bringing in all of your first cousins, and it sounds like you don’t feel like you can be stern with FI’s godchildren. This is YOUR wedding. It’s up to you to decide if you and your fiance welcome children or not, however I don’t think it’s fair to cherry pick which ones you’re okay with coming.
Post # 4
Fiance and I are going through this and usually I would say to stick to your guns and not invite them. Thats what we are doing.. BUT you are having other children there. You cant say its okay for some kids to come but yours cant because they are little devils lol. So I think it needs to be no kids or kids are welcome. IMO
Post # 5
We’re having adults, with the exception of some teenage cousins that are family. I think you could stick to the “no kids except family” if you’re really worried about them. It might be better to have Fiance talk that over with his Boyfriend or Best Friend before you send the invite, just so they know it’s coming.
Post # 6
“No kids except family” is agreat idea. my wedding was also no kids except family
Post # 7
I agree with @KristenGotMarried:. If other children will be there, you should invite their children as well.
Post # 8
I would usually agree with the “all kids or none at all” but the reason why my cousins are an “exception” is because they are my only first cousins and FI’s are all grown up and close to his age or much older… some even have kids that are my age. And like said, even if they weren’t officially invited, my Aunt would bring them anyway, or have a huge fit. So I guess thats where the “only family” can come into play…. but still unsure of what to do!
Post # 9
I tried to go with no kids without writing it on the invitations, and honestly, I’ve found it to be very hard to stick to. Some of our guests can’t get sitters/are too paranoid to leave their kids with a sitter (and frankly, I’m sure I will be someday too). So I just released my control-freakness grasp and said ok to those who asked me if they could bring their kids and had a legitimate reason. 🙂