(Closed) Questioning getting married

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
274 posts
Helper bee

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anonmolly :  Low T doesn’t have anything to do with fertility that I know of, but I could be wrong. I just remember him being tired and pissy all the time and I literally forced him to go to therapy, and the woman assigned testing and I think he just wanted to prove that he was fine and bam, low T. 

Has he always been like this or is it recent? Because I tend to be paranoid but if it’s recent it could be hypothyroid, low t, or a host of other things medically that might need to be checked out. 

Post # 19
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

It totally can’t hurt! We did it too 🙂 My advice would be to find someone with sex therapy expertise at the least- it doesn’t have to be a straight up sex therapist. We just went to a couples counselor with experience in pre-marital counseling and that wasn’t enough. He recommended that we find someone with that specific training.

Also, OMG, what your describing seems just like me. Just cuddling can be so hard!

Post # 20
484 posts
Helper bee

My Fiance also has a low sex drive, no advice from me just commenting to say I know how you feel and it can really get you down. 

I’ve been on both sides of this, with my last bf we would do it 3-5 times per week, but he wanted it at least once a day, often twice and it was honestly horrible. He would often critisize me for “never” (as he saw it) wanting to have sex and would do things like call me a prude when I asked him not to masturbate at the dinner table. However we did have fun at times with all sorts of kink, going to sex clubs, etc. 

I hoped my next partner would be more compatible in this area, of course, he isn’t. My current partner and I do it 2-3 times a month, which he thinks is “too often”. He doesn’t even like me wearing nice lingerie, let alone any sort of kink. 

Because of this, I feel like you can’t win no matter what you do. Although I at first felt depressed that sex is not going to be a big part of our relationship, I just thought what would I prefer? I realised that what I have now is better than being hassled multiple times a day. But everyone is different, for others it wouldn’t be worth giving up. 

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