Post # 1
So Fiance and I have been talking about getting married on paper before the actual wedding. Obviously you military brides understand that it would allow us to have me put on his benefits, changes in his living stipend, etc. We’re getting married at City Hall while he’s home on leave for Christmas and he will be heading back to Okinawa while I stay here. I’ll actually stay with my parents until the actual wedding in July of 13 so we’ll be putting the housing allowance into savings until just before the wedding when we’ll get an apartment. He’s getting out right after we get married and the extra benefits would help us out for a bit after while we’re getting started.
Anyone else get married on paper before the main church wedding? Is it strange to be married before the main church wedding? Did you tell anyone or did you keep it quiet?
Thanks for the help girls!
Post # 3
Although I am personally not an Army wife, I have several friends and family members are. The general consensus is : yes.
It is extremely common to get a legal marriage and postpone the “real” wedding for a time that suits the partners availability. Its smart to get provided for with benefits and save. Sounds like your off to a great start!
Post # 4
If you read my other posts, I have done this (and I don’t want to bore people by posting the same story, since this question seems to come up a lot). My Fiance is in the Navy, and we will have filed the paperwork about 7 months before the wedding.
It’s common, especially in the military, and most people keep it quiet in the sense that they don’t announce it to everyone. I wouldn’t recommend lying though, if it comes up – most people who care about you enough to come to the wedding just want to celebrate with you, and probably wouldn’t care too much either way. To be honest, it’s not hard to keep discreet; no one has ever asked anything that would require me to talk about it. In my case though, I would say about 70% of the people coming to our wedding know, and not one has been anything but understanding.
Post # 5
I think that’s a great idea! We had the time to get married before he left (legal and formal), but had we been more rushed for time with his leave date getting changed or whatever, we definitely would have gotten legally married. I think it makes total sense if you’re already planning on getting married and the timing just isn’t right for a formal wedding.
Post # 6
Very common and we are doing this also. Fiance is in the Marines and it just makes it a lot easier especially since he just got orders to move across country in January. They will pay to move me as his wife but not fiance so we decided to go that route. We are doing in legally next month and our wedding is in March. Not really going to announce it to anyone except my immediate family.
Post # 7
Thanks for the help girls! We actually got legally married in a civil ceremony this weekend in Richmond, VA! It was nice, just us and the marriage commissioner. It was kind of great just to have a weekend to ourselves to have a mini honeymoon in Richmond, no fuss, just time to enjoy being newlyweds 🙂
Post # 8
We did! We told close friends and family (just so we didn’t hurt any feelings).
Word did kinda spread, but no one really cared.
If I had it to do all over again, I have no regrets at all, it worked out perfectly and I wouldn’t change a thing – hope it all works out the same for you!
Post # 9
Congrats! My husband and I did this too! Only we allowed immediate family to the court house, we loved our small wedding so much we are only going to have a reception when he gets home, no need for another “real” wedding, getting married to my best friend was all I ever dreamed it would be, I didn’t need a huge dress and guest list!
Post # 10
I know it is common – a friend of mine mentioned that to us She kept hers quiet from everyone. And I would suggest doing that also, the getting married before the ceremony is just really difficult for some people to grasp. Even her discussing her situation, we had others chime in and give their take on it. It is hard finding a date that family and close friends can attend. Between deployments, moves and just regular life and travel it seems you wait forever. What ever you choose, your happiness as a couple means more than what others may or may not think. Congrats.