(Closed) Questions for a Baptist

posted 8 years ago in Christian
Post # 18
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Growing up Southern Baptist I don’t remember any specific traditions at all. A lot of the weddings gave roses to each of the mothers and/or did a unity candle. Not really a must have though.

Post # 19
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’ve also grown up as a Baptist and I don’t remember any specific traditions for weddings. 

For those of you that want to do something like a unity candle but aren’t allowed to, a good alternative to it is unity sand. It uses different colors of sand to symbolize your individuality, but when the sand is poured together it is impossible to separate the two.  My fiance and I will be doing a sand ceremony in place of a unity candle, and we love that the jar we pour the frame into can be displayed as a constant reminder.

Post # 20
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

There is also the cord of three strands.  I’m not sure how it works, but at the end of it all, you have a long, thick cord of three strands meant to symbolize you, your spouse, and Christ woven together.

Post # 22
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@SarahL13:  Most places that ban unity candles also ban sand, water, etc.

Post # 23
10649 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

@starrynight:  Except some churches just have a ban on open flames, so there handfasting, water or sand would be acceptable.

Post # 24
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

i grew up baptist but go to presbytyian church and send my kids to a lutheran school. so because our family is this way we decided to do a mix ceremony. question of intent, vow exchange, ring exchange..


Question of intent

            name, will you have this woman to be your wedded wife, to live with her after God’s commandments in the holy estate of marriage? And will you love her, honor and cherish her, so long as you both shall live?


I, ______, take you, ____, to be my wedded wife, and I do promise and covenant before God  and these witnesses to be your loving and faithful husband in sickness and in health, in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, as long as we both shall live. 


            “I give you this ring to wear as a sign of my promise to love and grow with you.


i cant remember which sayings is which..

Post # 26
5063 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

I have never heard of Baptists not dancing. Every baptist wedding I’ve been to had dancing. But no specific rituals – prayer, no alcohol and lots of coffee!

Post # 27
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Soon2BD-CBee:  Really? That is huge in Baptist circles! We still had dancing though, because we wanted it 😉

Post # 28
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

This post is really interesting, because we are battling the same, except I grew up Southern Baptist and Fiance is Catholic and we are having a Catholic ceremony without a mass. 

Silly question, but do the bride/groom kneel for all of the readings/homily?  What other traditions are there for a Catholic ceremony?

Post # 29
9134 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Depends on how strict his Baptist family is.  The easy ones are the unity candle and scripture readings.  No sacriments at a wedding.  Part of my family is super strict so no caffeine, no alcohol, and no dancing; thankfully they don’t mind if others partake in them though (but they did leave my first wedding early when the partiers started to drink heavily.)

It’s probably a good idea to speak to your Future Mother-In-Law to find out what traditions their family has for weddings and try to incorporate them; most men just don’t notice things like that at a wedding.

Post # 30
2022 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@beachbride1216:  It’s probably a good idea to speak to your Future Mother-In-Law to find out what traditions their family has for weddings and try to incorporate them; most men just don’t notice things like that at a wedding.

I agree!  I am Baptist… and I cant think of anything that hasnt been mentioned though. 

Post # 31
23 posts

My daughter got married last weekend in our local Baptist church, but as her “wedding planner”, I researched ceremonies from various denominations and put together a beautiful, meaningful service that our pastor was only too happy to officiate at.  Baptists typically do not use written prayers and I told our pastor I had no intention of “scripting” his prayers, but I noticed that he did incorporate some of the wording from the sample ceremony I had put together.  One of my favorite parts of the ceremony was the addition of a large pillar candle for the unity candle ceremony, representing God who is the source of all light, and life and love.  The mother of the groom and myself lit the two outside candles from the flame of this larger candle just after our processional, symbolizing the life God brought into each of our families with the birth of our son and daughter, respectively.  At the appropriate time in the ceremony, the bride and groom lit the center candle to represent their marriage union.

Since the bride’s processional music was a bit too long for just walking up the aisle, we arranged for her to pause for a moment at the bottom of the steps and give a silk rose from her bouquet to myself and the mother of the groom, which we in turn placed in a small vase on the edge of the platform, in memory of departed grandparents.  We included a brief note of explanation for this on the back of the program.  This simple touching, gesture allowed the bride to ascend the stairs with her father at the exact point where her music ascended up the scale of the piano, arriving at her groom’s side when the music reached its crescendo.  Also, in order to have both hands free to lift the skirt of her dress for climbing the steps, the bride handed her bouquet to the bridesmaid on the first step, and the bouquet passed from one bridesmaid to another up the stairs, and was retrieved by the bride after her maid of honor straightened the train of the gown.  The pastor was relieved to see that this bride didn’t trip over her hem like happens in a lot of weddings.

The reception dinner was held in the church gymnasium and a dance was held at a nearby hall after the outdoor photo session.  (Our pastor’s typical response when asked if Baptists can dance is “Some can…some can’t!”) The bride and groom requested no liquor at any of the festivities, in keeping with their personal convictions and local Baptist traditions. 

I guess this covers a lot of topics and I apologize for being so lengthy.  Hope some of this is of help to some other bride out there.

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