(Closed) Questions for those who eloped /had private wedding or are going to.

posted 8 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
1337 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I have these same questions.  Posting to follow.

Post # 4
9749 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

@ontbride:  We just got the idea to have a Sandal’s “weddingmoon.” 

*Hopefully will have no regrets – everything will be planned and ready to go we just show up with what we are going to wear*

We plan to have a casual dinner either before departure or upon arrival with our immediate families to celebrate.

We will be bringing FI’s brother and wife and my best friend (no family). Fiance requested no family lol

I haven’t broke the news to my grandparents yet bc I am waiting for the right time, but I told my mom. She was a bit bummed that she’s not going to be there, but really happy about our decision and thinks it will be a beautiful wedding.

Post # 6
6317 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

You said it’s ok to post if we are going to, so I will play.

Did you have any regrets afterwards? Hasn’t happened yet, but I doubt it. We’re both really introverted, private people. We wanted to elope originally but decided to do something small with my mom, sister, and BFF (since you need witnesses anyway and we’re doing it in the city we all live in).

Did you throw any kind of casual gathering later on? Don’t plan on it.

Had you ever had the big traditional wedding before? (possibly was your second marriage). This will be my SO’s second marriage. That didn’t really have much bearing on our situation, though. I never wanted a big wedding, and he hated his first big wedding, so we just have no desire to do anything fancy.

What did you do for your elopement/private wedding? We’re getting married at a local venue that works for the snowy wintertime. Rent for the ceremony wasn’t horrendous. We’re then all going for dinner afterwards to a nice restaurant, and then heading to my mom’s for cake and champagne.

How did you announce it to others? Hasn’t happened yet, but close friends and family are aware of our plans. Everyone has been super understanding and wish us nothing but the best. SO’s family was considering flying out for it, but decided against it since they live so far away and my city in December isn’t exactly an awesome destination lol. I plan on changing my Facebook status to “married” once all our close friends/family know. That’s the easy way in today’s day and age!

If it was a private wedding, did anyone attend? Same as above, we hope all 3 people attend lol.


Post # 8
9749 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

@ontbride:  Lucky for us the couple and the guest have offered to pay their own way (airfair/hotels/everything). It really depends on the location and what room you get. If you stay for 6 days the wedding is free. They prepare all the necessary paperwork, they provide the photographer, flowers, cake, reception dinner, champagne and I think an upgrade to a honeymoon suite the night of. There are also other packages with more offered that are not free. Check out their website: http://www.sandals.com/weddingmoons/

I think we are leaning towards the Montego Bay Resort and to stay for a week it’s around $4k with airfaire (wedding included) and I want to say that was with the walk-out beach front room option.

Post # 9
371 posts
Helper bee

Did you have any regrets afterwards? None. Zero. Zilch. The day was about us, as it’s supposed to be, but without all the trappings and stress and cost of throwing a huge shindig for 200+ of your “closest” friends.

Did you throw any kind of casual gathering later on? We might sometime in the fall. We’ve been kicking around the idea of a bbq on a farm with hayrides…we’ll see. 

Had you ever had the big traditional wedding before? (possibly was your second marriage). Both our seconds. His first wasn’t as much of a production as mine. But, my first had 350 guests, chocolate fountains, harpists, trumpeters, 6 BMs, 3 showers…and ended in divorce. So, I’ve learned the wedding really has nothing to do with the marriage. We wanted this to be about us, and it was, perfectly.

What did you do for your elopement/private wedding? We got married at a beautiful old mansion with gardens that’s now an inn. We had the ceremony in the garden, walked around downtown and took some pictures (on our own time schedule). Then we walked to a local winery, sat outside and enjoyed the weather, then walked to dinner where our cake was waiting. (all in my pretty dress! It was so fun being downtown and having strangers stop you and wish congratulations) 

How did you announce it to others? Our close families knew, but no one else did. Like @canarydiamond, we updated our statuses on Facebook. Easy way to spread the word. 

If it was a private wedding, did anyone attend? Nope and we wouldn’t have had it any other way!

Here’s our photos if you want to see 🙂 We’re very glad we got a photographer. 



Post # 10
649 posts
Busy bee

@btothez:  Your dress is <i>divine.</i> Gah! I can’t get over it.

Post # 11
140 posts
Blushing bee

I’ll play — 

For those of you who eloped or had private wedding (or are going to)

Did you have any regrets afterwards? it hasn’t happened yet, we have 50 days left, but it’s been sort of weird, there are times I’ve felt I was sacrificing that “dream day” for a small/private ceremony, plus I think some family members were a little annoyed at our decision and didn’t understand that the few people we were inviting were in for a VERY laid back wedding weekend – actually our small family/best friends ceremony has ended up being about 50 people after complaints, but I’m posting because originally we had not intended on any of that. 

Did you throw any kind of casual gathering later on? we will be, yes, we actually notified family on my side at least that my parents would be hosting a “reception” kind of deal – basically food and drinks at a local park, so everyone could get together and celebrate with us. it helped alot since we weren’t inviting alot of people and i felt bad for that. at the same time, though i am looking forward to this, i feel weird for having a gathering afterwards, but im sure it will be fine. 

Had you ever had the big traditional wedding before? (possibly was your second marriage) nope. i always thought that i wanted one, and maybe after getting into the planning and coordinating of this small one, i realized there were alot of things about big weddings that i was missing out on (ie – no bridal party, no bridal shower, no bachelorette, no morning of mimosas and getting ready with my girls, no dj and dancing, no big dress, i cant have pro makeup and hair due to the time of our ceremony, lots of people that ive been invited to their wedding that i snubbed because our guest list was tiny, etc etc.) 

What did you do for your elopement/private wedding? we are doing a sunrise (like 6:50 am!) ceremony on a beach. 

How did you announce it to others? we kind of didnt? LOL People found out slowly that we had gotten engaged, we didn’t really go all out and post stuff online and all that, we called or texted our close family and friends and told them, etc. I realized how little of a deal we made of our engagement and our wedding when some people were like “wait, you’re getting married?!”.. so that was weird. but we wanted to keep it on the downlow so that people that we just weren’t inviting weren’t like “um, wheres our invite!?” — sometimes i think people will be too sensitive and not understand what we were wanting for our wedding and that we weren’t not inviting them for fun. we did however send invitations to people we 100% knew weren’t going to come because we felt it was only fair that they at least knew about it. 

If it was a private wedding, did anyone attend? our family (ie parents and siblings) and best friends (about 3 each and their SO’s) — I think at the very least our parents would be LIVID if they didnt get to be there and we wanted our best friends there with us to celebrate with – granted, some may not come, but hopefully.

Love to hear about elopements and private weddings as this is what we are considering doing. 

we had originally planned to get married a little over a year after our engagement. We got engaged in March and are getting married in October, so it all went quick. Mostly for me I was looking at beach wedding packages (aww yea the all inclusive stuff!) and was shocked by how cheap it was and realized it would be really nice to just get away with a few people and get married on a beach and not stress over it, plus though my parents weren’t worried about the financial aspect of the wedding, I didnt want to feel like I would be indebted to them forever over it (though it would never be like that, i felt bad for possibly planning something expensive), it was more of a less-stress, we’ve just bought a house, we’re happy together, lets just go do this our way. So we are. 6am ceremony, breakfast at a (maybe not so nice? not sure!) restaraunt nearby, then a day on the beach, and a bonfire that evening on the beach. Again, there have been times I felt I was missing out or sacrificing things. For instance, I could not find ONE vendor for hair and makeup since our ceremony was so early, so I’m DIY’ing though I really HATED to do that. It is what it is! Fingers crossed that this works out how we want it to.


Post # 12
1682 posts
Bumble bee

We’re in the planning stages as well so I’ll answer this the best as I can…

For those of you who eloped or had private wedding (or are going to)

We’re having a private destination wedding in Europe just the two of us and then coming home and having a City Hall ceremony in the States because our families will absolutely lose their minds if we don’t. 

Did you throw any kind of casual gathering later on?

We’re planning on it! We’re thinking of renting a beachhouse for a weekend and throwing it there. 

Had you ever had the big traditional wedding before? (possibly was your second marriage)

Nope! First wedding for both of us. 

What did you do for your elopement/private wedding?

We’re going to get ready together at the hotel and possibly hold the ceremony in the same hotel (they offered us one of their grand suites for the ceremony but it’s INSANELY expensive). That part is still up in the air. Then we’ll take photos around the city with our photographer and then have an amazing dinner somewhere. After another day or two we’ll fly to another city and finish out our “weddingmoon”. 

How did you announce it to others?

Still working on that part… We’re planning on sending wedding announcement cards after we get the photos back. 

If it was a private wedding, did anyone attend?

 No one will attend our European ceremony but we’ll have 12 family members at the City Hall ceremony. 


Post # 13
7813 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Did you have any regrets afterwards? It hasn’t happened yet, but we won’t have any. It’s what we have wanted all along. We had to change the location to accomodate my dad’s illness, but I don’t regret that either. It’s important to us both that he is there.

Did you throw any kind of casual gathering later on? No, we are not going to do this. We will have dinner with my parents afterwards, but that will be the same day as the wedding.

Had you ever had the big traditional wedding before? (possibly was your second marriage) No, this will be my first and only marriage. If it doesn’t work out, I will buy more dogs.

What did you do for your elopement/private wedding? We are getting married at a beautiful inn during the winter months (snow pictures!!). We will spend 2 nights in a private suite with a hot tub, jacuzzi, wood burning fireplace, and every other luxury you can imagine. We will be honeymooning in Jamaica, which is where we were initially planning to elope.

How did you announce it to others? We just told them. No formal announcement, we told people as it came up.

If it was a private wedding, did anyone attend? My parents will attend as witnesses. We will not have any guests.

Post # 14
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@ontbride:  Me [waves hand]!!

We are “eloping” (in quotes because it’s planned so I don’t know if that counts!) to Iowa City in October bc s-s marriage is not legal where we live (eye roll). We are taking our four dogs and hiring a photographer there. We are spending two nights at a b&b and wearing jeans and flip flops (that say, I might add, “just married” on the bottoms!) to the courthouse. The ceremony will be just us. 

Then, we are having a VERY casual celebration here. Think 30 people in a hotel lounge on a Sunday morning. The Four Seasons in our hometown has a bottomless bloody mary bar, and that is what we are doing (LOVE bloody marys). We are bringing in wedding cupcakes and calling it a day.

We are, additionally, sending announcements to out of town friends and family afterwards and taking a “mini moon” in November to Shutters on the Beach in Santa Monica.

Yes, this is my second marriage (guy the first time around, when I was 21). My Girlfriend just doesnt have any interest in a big affair. I cannot WAIT and I dont think either of us will regret any aspect of this. 🙂

Post # 15
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I wish we had eloped….

Post # 16
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

We haven’t done it yet, but we’re going to get married at Sandals in the Bahamas in early December!

Did you have any regrets afterwards? i really doubt that we will. Getting married on the beach has always been a dream of mine. Basically the wedding I would have if I didn’t have all the family/friend obligations to think about. Some stuff happened to screw up our conventional wedding plans, and we just decided we didn’t care. I think it’s going to be dreamy.

Did you throw any kind of casual gathering later on? We’re going to, probably next summer. Big party-food, desserts, dancing. I think it will be a blast.

Had you ever had the big traditional wedding before? (possibly was your second marriage). Nope. First marriage for both of us.

What did you do for your elopement/private ceremony?  We haven’t made final plans yet (we just booked the vacation yesterday!) but I think it will just be the two of us on the beach, followed by champagne and dinner together. We’ll probably get ready together, and I don’t think I want to walk down an “aisle” of any kind. So pretty non-traditional.

How did you announce it to others? We’ve told pretty much everybody who knows we’re getting married lol! We’re just not secret-keeping types! Everybody (my family, his family, our friends) has been really cool and supportive. Sme people were really surprised, but my best friend wasn’t at all. She said every time I mentioned the wedding I got a haunted look in my eyes! 

If it was a private wedding, did anyone attend? Our standard line has been that we’re going to get married in the Bahamas, and anyone who would like to attend is welcome to come. But I seriously doubt that anyone will be able to make it. 


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