(Closed) Questions for those who eloped /had private wedding or are going to.

posted 6 years ago in Elopement
Post # 34
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

We had little bag of jordan almonds at each place setting, as they are very traditional in France for family events (weddings and christenings), but we had prepared a personalised welcome bag for everyone that they got when they arrived a couple of days before the ceremony. We had water, wine, treats, a few personalised bits (notepad, pens… things that people can use), brochures for activities in the area, and also we put a welcome basket in each house with basics (butter, milk, tea bags, coffee, bread, cheese, ham, yogurts, biscuits) I think that was it, and also a small bag with toiletries (wipes, travel size deodorant, lipbalm, hand cream, plasters…). 

 

Ther restaurant was quite small, and we had a portion of it separated from the rest of the floor with tall plants. 

 

We didn’t have dancing, but after dinner, we went back to the domaine and opened a last bottle of Champagne, and had a quick dance just the two of us. It was magical. 

 

Sorry for going on and on, but I hope it helps!

Post # 36
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Well not to blow my own trumpet, but I feel we did a lot for our guests, and that’s why it cost us a lot of money!! Undecided Although I’m sure you can do something really thoughful and generous on a budget, we didn’t manage. But everyone had a good time and felt pampered, and that’s what we wanted. 

 

Any more thoughts on what you’re going to do?

Post # 37
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Our elopement/ weddingmoon is coming up quick!

Did you have any regrets afterwards? 

Were about two/three weeks away and no signs of regrets! I dont feel like I am missing out on anything i would have ever wanted. I feel like a regular wedding would of been tourture!

Did you throw any kind of casual gathering later on?

Were going to have a casual BBQ a few weeks after we get back. Nothing fancy.. in fact were having it in our barn. 

Had you ever had the big traditional wedding before? (possibly was your second marriage)

Nope!

What did you do for your elopement/private wedding?

Were driving down the coast to sonoma getting married at a winery then driving home. We’ll be gone for a few weeks and were staying at some fabulous places on the way and back! The hotel that were staying in sonoma has a sweet package deal and they organize the whole thing for you!

How did you announce it to others?

Were going to announce it with out invites to our BBQ.

If it was a private wedding, did anyone attend?

Nope! Just us.

Post # 40
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Did you have any regrets afterwards? It hasn’t happened yet, but we can’t be happier! We had started with the whole standard wedding idea, but all of the crap and family issues that came with it made us sick and tired – so we just went with our hearts and are eloping in Jan with a sunset beach wedding!

Did you throw any kind of casual gathering later on? We will be having dinner with immediate family at a beachside steakhouse.

Had you ever had the big traditional wedding before? (possibly was your  second marriage) I had a traditional wedding for my first marriage (this will be my second, my FI’s first) – and it was HORRIBLE! It was on my parents’ patio with about 20 guests. My mom refused to spend the money on a dress, so I wore a used cream bridesmaid’s dress from the local Goodwill ($50 – she “splurged”). The “photographer” was a friend of my grandma who insisted that no one could show their thumbs in any of the pictures (WTH?) and gave us crappy prints in a overstuffed plastic cover from the dollar store as her “gift” to us. Some guy no one knew showed up in a hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts – my grandma said she knew him, but didn’t know his name. The groom continually insisted that I had to say the vows first (so he wouldn’t look like a jerk if I said no). The reception was at the neighborhood room by the pool. We got small party sandwiches from a local grocery store and sat around. The groom split his pants and caused a huge scene by crying and screaming and that was the end of the reception. I don’t think it could have been a worse day.

What did you do for your elopement/private wedding? We are going to elope at sunset on the beach. We have hired an AMAZING photographer (he also did our engagement photos). I am wearing a beautiful simple gown from David’s Bridal and he is going to wear a white button down shirt and tan slacks. We are both going barefoot!

How did you announce it to others? We are going to wait for the pics and send out an announcement with pics from Shutterfly.

If it was a private wedding, did anyone attend? We have told our parents and my brother, but have not “officially” invited anyone except his mom and her SO as official witnesses (they live locally). I’m pretty sure my mom and brother will come to witness, since they are planning to visit from IN – but I doubt my dad or grandma will (Family issues… long story short, I refuse to allow my father’s former mistress/now girlfriend to be involved in my life after she has tried to sabotage my relationship with my family as well as my wedding plans. She’s causing a scene about it – and my father and grandma have taken her side on the matter). Either way, we are not expecting “guests” and are not making plans for them, except for our celebration dinner that evening. I hope my mom and brother come to FL with his family – I haven’t seen my mom in over 3 years and I miss her so much.

 

Either way, we can’t wait for our special day! Less than 2 mos. to go! πŸ™‚

 

Post # 41
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Did you have any regrets afterwards? Nothing really. I just enjoyed my day. Stress free.

Did you throw any kind of casual gathering later on? No, we didn’t need one.

Had you ever had the big traditional wedding before? (possibly was your  second marriage) No. We were planning a big wedding but it was just too stressful.

What did you do for your elopement/private wedding? Private wedding

How did you announce it to others? Facebook and word of mouth by others

If it was a private wedding, did anyone attend? 30 of our closest family and friends attended. It was absolutely beautiful.

 

Post # 42
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Did you have any regrets afterwards? 

No.  Actually, I really regreted how large my first wedding was (80 people).  I had wanted a smaller wedding even then, but the groom insisted that everyone up to his second cousins had to be invited.

Did you throw any kind of casual gathering later on?

Yes.  We are a same-sex couple, and had to get married 8 hours away from where we live.  So we decided to have a very small ceremony and luncheon afterward, then a bigger at-home evening reception with heavy hors d’oeuvres, an open bar, dancing, and a DIY fauxtobooth.

Had you ever had the big traditional wedding before? (possibly was your second marriage)

Sort of.  My first wedding was about 80 people, so it would still be considered small by many people’s standards, but it was considerably more than an elopement.

What did you do for your elopement/private wedding?

We had the ceremony in a tiny synagogue.  Afterward, we took everyone to lunch at Legal Sea Foods.  Because the guest list was so small, we were able to provide accommodations for everyone for the night before the wedding and the wedding night, and provide all of their meals for the whole time they were there.  Thus, we got to see a lot more of them than if we’d had just the formal events.

How did you announce it to others?

We sent formal invitations to those who were invited to the ceremony and luncheon.  We also sent formal invitations to anyone invited to the at-home reception.  With everyone else, we let them know however seemed appropriate in light of the relationship–e.g., phone, e-mail, Facebook status.

If it was a private wedding, did anyone attend?

Yes.  We had about a dozen guests:  my immediate family, and a few close friends on my wife’s side.

Post # 43
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2000

Did you have any regrets afterwards? None

Did you throw any kind of casual gathering later on? Nope!

Had you ever had the big traditional wedding before? No. Zero desire.

What did you do for your elopement/private wedding? Got outta dodge (Dublin for us) and went to Antigua on a long weekend. You couldn’t pay me to deal with Vegas, and they can get it done same day too. It all fell together. We had someone volunteer to take the photos, volunteer to witness, someone who insisted they drive us to Jabberwock Beach where we swam in our wedding clothes. Ordered great local food and ate in our room in the inn that night. 

How did you announce it to others? Told no one for a quite some time. We hadn’t been dating for long before hand, so it wasn’t like people mentioning marriage to us or anything like that. Just visited his parents about 18 months later and told them, emailed my sister a few months later. No big deal, no fall-out, zero drama. Neither of us is close to our families. Nothing remotely Jerry Springer, just no real closeness. And we’re private, no-fuss people. Told some friends relatively recently, several months after their own wedding. They’d become engaged when we were first about to tell them and we held off so as not to be douche-y. “Oh, congrats on your engagement! We’ve been married for ages. Surprise!” <- Not our style. 

If it was a private wedding, did anyone attend? Myself, my husband, the hotelier and his wife (witnesses). And the marriage officer. 

Post # 44
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Did you have any regrets afterwards? NO… none at all… a year later and still the best decision ever!!

Did you throw any kind of casual gathering later on?  Nope!

Had you ever had the big traditional wedding before? (possibly was your second marriage)  Yes both of us had the big traditional wedding our first times around.

What did you do for your elopement/private wedding?  We went to a local park 15 min. from our house… said our vows and took some pix around the park with a photographer then stopped out for some drinks, just the 2 of us.  Went home and changed and hung out at home and then went out to a local steak house later that night.

How did you announce it to others?  Email/text and then of course by changing our FB status and posting a picture  πŸ˜‰

If it was a private wedding, did anyone attend?  Nope!  No witnesses required in PA…  just us, the officiant and photographer

 

Post # 45
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My husband and I had what we referred to as an “announced elopement” and honeymoon in Hawaii this past October.


Did you have any regrets afterwards? No, in fact I was happier about it afterward than I was before.  It bothered me a bit that my friends who got married got bridal showers and presents and parties and everything…and I didnt get any of that.  It felt unfair.  I thought I would be upset that my parents werent there.  I wasnt upset at all. It was simply the most perfect moment of my life.  Me and him on a beach with the officiant, the photographer and the 2 witnesses (people who set up the officiant– I didnt know them)

Did you throw any kind of casual gathering later on? We thought we might but NOPE! We love how we did things and couldn’t care less about having a party. When we got engaged we had a very impromptu and casual karaoke gathering at a bar (we told everyone when and where, we didnt pay for drinks, songs, room or food…it was just come if you want– that was the only “party” we had)

Had you ever had the big traditional wedding before? (possibly was your second marriage). This is technically my DH’s second marriage.  He was married once before but it was more of a convenience (she was not from thisn country).  They got married at the courthouse, and 6 months later she left him.  He regards our marriage as his first real one because it was actually for love.  This was also my first (and only!) time getting married.

What did you do for your elopement/private wedding? We booked 16 days at a condo in Maui– we arrived on a Thursday night, ran errands on Friday and Saturday we got married.  We got ready pretty much together, he stayed out of the room while the hair and makeup people did their thing.  He helped me into my dress and the photogrpaher showed up and we took some before pictures. Then we headed to our specified beach and met with the offficiant.  And then it happened! Afterward, we took some more pictures, and then went to an AMAZING dinner πŸ™‚

How did you announce it to others? When people asked, we told them what the plan was.  Most people thought it was a great idea.

If it was a private wedding, did anyone attend? Nope! No one.  Just us πŸ™‚

 

Post # 46
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Just us – brewery wedding inside brewery – awesomeness and exactly us πŸ™‚

Did you have any regrets afterwards? NONE – was exactly what I wanted and eliminated all the potential drama on all fronts and focused on just us and each other πŸ™‚

Did you throw any kind of casual gathering later on? We considered it but haven’t yet and now I don’t really want to pay for one lol – we may do more of a vow renewal/vacation in the future for close family/friends but not sure yet.

Had you ever had the big traditional wedding before? (possibly was your second marriage). Not exactly but yes too – church wedding first time but was low budget more shotgunish!  Second wedding was destination and still lowkey – I dream big but my shy and introverted nature makes the thought of anything big and attention drawing give me panic attacks!

What did you do for your elopement/private wedding? private tour of our favorite brewery and had our tour guide ordained who married us with one of the guys working in the brewry jumping in as a ring bearer πŸ™‚  We stayed on the beach for a few nights before and then moved into an upscale resort for the next few nights after.

How did you announce it to others? I’m supposed to tell people?  LOL I haven’t announced it too much yet as I’m just feeling sort of burned out on social media and such but close family/friends know and Darling Husband tells everyone lol!

If it was a private wedding, did anyone attend? Just us πŸ™‚

 

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