Did you have any regrets afterwards?
No. Actually, I really regreted how large my first wedding was (80 people). I had wanted a smaller wedding even then, but the groom insisted that everyone up to his second cousins had to be invited.
Did you throw any kind of casual gathering later on?
Yes. We are a same-sex couple, and had to get married 8 hours away from where we live. So we decided to have a very small ceremony and luncheon afterward, then a bigger at-home evening reception with heavy hors d’oeuvres, an open bar, dancing, and a DIY fauxtobooth.
Had you ever had the big traditional wedding before? (possibly was your second marriage)
Sort of. My first wedding was about 80 people, so it would still be considered small by many people’s standards, but it was considerably more than an elopement.
What did you do for your elopement/private wedding?
We had the ceremony in a tiny synagogue. Afterward, we took everyone to lunch at Legal Sea Foods. Because the guest list was so small, we were able to provide accommodations for everyone for the night before the wedding and the wedding night, and provide all of their meals for the whole time they were there. Thus, we got to see a lot more of them than if we’d had just the formal events.
How did you announce it to others?
We sent formal invitations to those who were invited to the ceremony and luncheon. We also sent formal invitations to anyone invited to the at-home reception. With everyone else, we let them know however seemed appropriate in light of the relationship–e.g., phone, e-mail, Facebook status.
If it was a private wedding, did anyone attend?
Yes. We had about a dozen guests: my immediate family, and a few close friends on my wife’s side.