(Closed) Questions on changing our names

posted 7 years ago in Names
Post # 4
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

I grew up with two separate last names that were unhyphenated (my Dad’s father was adopted, so he had two separate last names).  However, many people did hyphenate it (schools, license, occasional credit/debit cards, checks, my lease, etc) despite my Social Security and Birth Certificates being unhyphenated.  I plan on taking my Fiance’s last name b/c I really did not enjoy growing up with two names–plus I don’t have a great relationship with my father so that’s a contributing factor.  I say, go for it if you want! 

Post # 6
Member
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

This sounds complicated and confusing.  Personally, I would stick to one name that the whole family shares.  I have a friend who has a multi-word last name (for example De La Rocha) and always has trouble with it.  Some people file it under “D” some people file it under “R” so there is always confusion.  I advocate making things simple – you aren’t the only one who will have to deal with a lifetime of confusion.  I have also heard of moms having trouble because their last names are different than their child’s.

Post # 8
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Could you drop your middle names and use your maidin name as both of your middle names? Then use his last name for both of your last names?

Having two last names sounds very confusing.  Also, if you give yuor child his last name, all of the teachers will call you Mrs. HisLastName not your double last name. 

Post # 10
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I changed my name recently and now my name is maidenname hislastname – no hyphen. First of all on the marriage license make sure you specify because SSA gave me a little trouble since I didn’t fill it out properly. Even after I told them and wrote on the form how I wanted it, they still tried to get rid of my middle name and replace it with my maiden name!

Aside from that, I still go by my last name for work and it seems that other correspondence that I’ve received (from my credit card company, health insurance, etc.) consider hislastname as my actual last name. It’s weird – most things have me as his last name, firstname maidenname as if my maiden name is my middle name. Kind of weird but that’s the only issue I’ve encountered so far. Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Fi’s middle name is his mom’s maiden name, so is his brother’s. I’m taking FI’s name and using my maiden name as a middle name. I am having it printed on my business cards for right now though (First Maiden Last).

I am not keen on hyphenating. I considered not legally taking his and letting people call me whatever they’d like socially. I’ve also read that a wife can use her husband’s last name without legally changing it (haven’t verified this). The whole kids thing is why I ended up caving. It’s so hard to give up your name. Undecided

EDIT: I also have 2 middle names (on birth certificate). My sister has 3. On my social security card, only the first is listed. The same is true of most other legal documents. I will probably drop my current second middle name to make room. Point is: there’s no limitation on middle names.

 

Post # 12
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I think whatever you want to do is great, but that if you do not hyphenate a lot of people will either hyphenate anyway, or drop off the Your Lastname part as if it is a middle name and not part of the last name.

Post # 14
Member
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I have read about women who had to have their marriage license re-issued because they did not put the right new name on it.

Post # 15
Member
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Totally off topic here and I don’t mean to thread hijack, but was I supposed to put my last name on my marriage application/license as the last name I was changing it to?!

It said 11a. female applicant name: first, middle, last

     I filled this out as my first, middle, and last name I was born with

Then 11b. Maiden Surname (if different)

     I left this part blank and thought it meant if I was married before

They never said anything like I didn’t fill it out right. I know they had pointed out mistakes in other parts of the form. Now I’m worried I wont be able to change my last name to his :/

Post # 16
Member
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Ms. Figales: To answer you…If it were me I would personally add the maiden to your middle names and keep just his as your last name. A childhood friend of mine’s mother had hermaiden hislast for her name and people would always mess it up! Her husband and all the kids just had hislast though but she was really particular about being called by hermaiden hislast (his first wife had the same first name as her and never changed back to her maiden so my friends mom didn’t want there to be two Jane Does).

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