(Closed) Quick poll on thank you cards for gift-less guests

• lola5
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: August 2016

You should be grateful that people came to celebrate with you and thank them for their presence. 

• theatrejulia
• 4 years ago

Yes, as many family members flew across the country to join us. This was far more expensive than a gift. A few are terrified of flying and we had some (in their 60’s!) who have never been in an airplane before. This meant so much more than a gift and not sending a card to thank them for joining us felt rude. 

• hikingbride
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: August 2016

No. We made sure to thank all of our guests for attending at the reception.

• Daisy_Mae
• 4 years ago

You thank people for coming AT the reception. Sending a “thank you” card when someone didn’t give a gift is seen as a tactless reminder of that.

• JiminyCricket
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: November 1999

In my social circle, sending thank you cards to people who didn’t give gifts is very rude and looks as if you are passive-aggressively pointing out that they didn’t give a gift.  The reception is how you thank your guests for coming.  

• mcgoat
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: May 2016

We only had 35 guests. Most people brought a little something, though we didn’t want gifts. One couple didn’t give us an ‘actual’ gift, but they drove 10 hours. We sent them a thank you card for making the trip and for making the night more fun and meaningful. I honestly don’t think this sends a message other than what we actually wrote in the card…

• noshrinkingviolet
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: January 2013

I say, why not? Screw antiquated etiquette. Is it really so hard to hold a pen and write a note of gratitude for someone making the effort to share my special day with me? Are we all soooooo short on time, ink, and postage, that this simple act is that much a hardship? 

• Guantanamera
• 4 years ago

I plan on sending out “thank you for attending” cards. People are spending vacation time and money to come to our wedding, and I think that deserves acknowledgement. 

• jess9090
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: August 2011

Funny how people say that you should thank people for attending, but don’t expect guests to thank you for inviting them. But to answer your question, no. As PPs have stated, it comes across as a passive aggressive dig that the person did not give a gift. You say “thank you for coming” to them on that day, plus you provide their food and the entertainment. The guests I appreciated the most are the ones who appreciated being invited.

• lareolin
• 4 years ago

Nope. 

• Beegritte
• 4 years ago

I used to think I would send cards to everyone but now, after the fact, I don’t think I will. It seems like overkill to me 

• Kate127
• 4 years ago

Its the norm where I live to send a thankyou card with a photo of the couple from the wedding on the front (like a STD). Its a nice way to give people a photo to remember from the day as well as a quick ‘thankyou for celebrating with us!’. Gifts get a handwritten message as well but otherwise you can just send the card as it is. 

• nellytfernando
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: September 2017 - Mississauga Convention Centre

People made the effort to come and celebrate your special day with you, so a thank you card would be appreciated

• hikingbride
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: August 2016

I think it’s ridiculous to act like if guests who didn’t give a gift aren’t sent a thank you card they weren’t thanked for attending. I paid for thier meal, provided free alcohol all night, plus cake and I thanked them in person.