(Closed) Quick poll on thank you cards for gift-less guests

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Did you send thank you cards to guests who came but did not give a gift?

    Yes

    No

  • Post # 2
    Member
    593 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    You should be grateful that people came to celebrate with you and thank them for their presence. 

    Post # 3
    Member
    9519 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    Yes, as many family members flew across the country to join us. This was far more expensive than a gift. A few are terrified of flying and we had some (in their 60’s!) who have never been in an airplane before. This meant so much more than a gift and not sending a card to thank them for joining us felt rude. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    10444 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    No. We made sure to thank all of our guests for attending at the reception.

    Post # 5
    Member
    9144 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    You thank people for coming AT the reception. Sending a “thank you” card when someone didn’t give a gift is seen as a tactless reminder of that.

    Post # 6
    Member
    13956 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    In my social circle, sending thank you cards to people who didn’t give gifts is very rude and looks as if you are passive-aggressively pointing out that they didn’t give a gift.  The reception is how you thank your guests for coming.  

    Post # 7
    Member
    102 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    We only had 35 guests. Most people brought a little something, though we didn’t want gifts. One couple didn’t give us an ‘actual’ gift, but they drove 10 hours. We sent them a thank you card for making the trip and for making the night more fun and meaningful. I honestly don’t think this sends a message other than what we actually wrote in the card…

    Post # 8
    Member
    180 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I say, why not? Screw antiquated etiquette. Is it really so hard to hold a pen and write a note of gratitude for someone making the effort to share my special day with me? Are we all soooooo short on time, ink, and postage, that this simple act is that much a hardship? 

    Post # 9
    Member
    819 posts
    Busy bee

    I plan on sending out “thank you for attending” cards. People are spending vacation time and money to come to our wedding, and I think that deserves acknowledgement. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    668 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Funny how people say that you should thank people for attending, but don’t expect guests to thank you for inviting them. But to answer your question, no. As PPs have stated, it comes across as a passive aggressive dig that the person did not give a gift. You say “thank you for coming” to them on that day, plus you provide their food and the entertainment. The guests I appreciated the most are the ones who appreciated being invited.

    Post # 11
    Member
    553 posts
    Busy bee

    Nope. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    3163 posts
    Sugar bee

    I used to think I would send cards to everyone but now, after the fact, I don’t think I will. It seems like overkill to me 

    Post # 13
    Member
    1546 posts
    Bumble bee

    Its the norm where I live to send a thankyou card with a photo of the couple from the wedding on the front (like a STD). Its a nice way to give people a photo to remember from the day as well as a quick ‘thankyou for celebrating with us!’. Gifts get a handwritten message as well but otherwise you can just send the card as it is. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    1115 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2017 - Mississauga Convention Centre

    People made the effort to come and celebrate your special day with you, so a thank you card would be appreciated

    Post # 15
    Member
    10444 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    I think it’s ridiculous to act like if guests who didn’t give a gift aren’t sent a thank you card they weren’t thanked for attending. I paid for thier meal, provided free alcohol all night, plus cake and I thanked them in person. 

    View original reply
    jess9090 :  Get over yourself. No one said it’s too hard. It’s overkill at best and at worst your guest may view it as a passive aggressive attempt to get a gift out of them. Even if you don’t see it that way, that doesn’t mean your guest won’t.

    The topic ‘Quick poll on thank you cards for gift-less guests’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors