Post # 1
i have a number of cousins’ longtime girlfriends and SOs coming to the wedding who i have never met. i know the rule is that for non-married couples who are living separately, you must send separate invitations. however, i’m short on invites and long on guests, so ive decided that i’m going to send one invite only if the guest of my family member is someone ive never met. which begs the question,
how do i address an invitation to Mr. John Doe and Miss IveNeverMetHer? We are not doing inner envelopes, so i cant write his name on the outside and her name on the inside. Is it appropriate to address this way:
Mr John Doe and Miss IveNeverMetHer
123 Main Street
or is this bettter:
Mr John Doe and Guest
or just write his name and hope he assumes that Miss I is also invited? —
Mr. John Doe
Post # 3
i wouldn’t just assume they know, i think it’s nice to put their name on the invite. that way there’s no questioning who’s getting invited.
Post # 4
All of the etiquette books I’ve read suggest that if a couple is not married, engaged, or living together, that you invite the person you know “and Guest.” I guess it can happen with married, engaged, or cohabitating couples, too, but it’s even more likely that a “dating” couple might no longer be together two months after invitations are sent out.
I’m in the same situation (cousins with significant others, no inner envelope), and this is what I’m doing:
Mr. Male Cousin and Guest
123 Any Street
Anytown, NY 12345
I’m sure some etiquette buffs would frown upon this, but in the absence of an inner envelope, I think it’s the best solution.
Post # 5
Hm. I definitely wouldn’t just leave it ambiguous because your cousins might get confused about whether or not their dates are invited. If they have been together for a long period of time, I think I would put Mr. Cousin and Miss Never Met Her. It seems like you at least cared enough to find out her name.
Post # 6
We are not doing inner envelopes – we’re making pre-addressed postcards – so we’re addressing ours with both names if they are engaged / living together / been together for awhile. Otherwise, we’re just addressing it to the person we do know and putting on the RSVP how many seats are reserved so they can bring that other person. We don’t really have too many in that position, so we thought that was the best way to go about things.
Post # 7
I addressed invitations to non-married couples on the same envelope. I sent them to the person that I knew best. I didn’t know that you sent them seperately. I think that would be kind of confusing for them and they might RSVP twice with their SO as a guest each time.
So I think that the best thing would be to have Mr. Joe Smith and Miss Jacky Doe at your cousin’s address. If they have been together for a while, it is sort of rude just to call the girl Guest.
Post # 8
thanks guys! based on the suggestions, think what i am going to do is to send the invitation to the family member and include the unknown significant other on the same invite. as in….
Mr. John Doe
123 Main Street
Anytown, USA 12345
@rileyjane – agree, should include her name – at least i care enough that she’s coming. actually had a similar situation where my Fiance was invited to MY cousin’s wedding as “and guest” and we thought it was a little odd. so good point….
now to figure out what all these girls’ names are!!! 🙂