(Closed) Quick question… rebounds

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Go on a date?  Sure! I say do it!  Sometimes it’s really nice and helpful to have positive attention.

Get in a relationship? Not a good idea at the moment.  People do need time to heal, collect themselves, and regroup/stablize before jumping into another relationship.

I don’t think there’s any harm in going on a date just after a bad breakup, but one should definitely wait to make sure they are over their ex before starting another relationship (it gets unnecessarily messy and difficult otherwise).

Post # 17
Member
2890 posts
Sugar bee

Anna113619:  Before I lived it myself, I would have said ”bad idea”. But it happened to me, and I think the answer is not that easy.

When I broke up with my ex, there were a lot of things I realized I wanted in a partner and relationship, that I didn’t have (or not anymore). I went through a long thinking and emotional process before I decided I would end the relationship we were in (9 years, it wasn’t easy). I most definitely wasn’t looking for another relationship after I broke up and I genuinely thought I would remain single for years to come. Until I started chatting with someone over a forum I had been on for 2 years. It wasn’t anything romantic at all : we mainly discussed movies and TV series and other general topics, and that person and I had pretty much the same tastes / opinions. Based on one conversation about a TV serie, we exchanged PMs and chatted, telling the other a bit more about ourselves along the way. But the more we wrote to each other, the more I felt I had a crush. I realized he was pretty much everything I’ve ever dreamed of, every criteria I could have written on my ”perfect guy must-haves list”, he had. So although it was only a few weeks after my breakup and I was still hurting (he knew about the whole story), I felt the opportunity was there, and that I couldn’t risk telling him ”hey, I think you’re the man for me, but right now I feel like sh*t, call me next year to see if I’m still interested”. We both knew the context, we were both adults and we both decided we would give it a try, even if the timing wasn’t at its best. And we’ve been into a serious and committed relationship ever since ! 

 ETA: What made a difference I think is that my SO was very supportive of the pain I was going through. He didn’t expect me to be over my ex, or the past 9 years of my life. I agree with everybody who said there has to be healing, but if you happen to meet the right person soon after, it would be equally sad to pass him by. You’re both adults, make sure you both know what you’re getting yourselves into, and then each of you can decide if it’s worth it.

Post # 18
Member
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Go for it! 

I had just ended a toxic relationship when I got asked on a date by someone I had had feelings for before the ex, went, realised we had no feelings anymore. It gave me closure on the date, concreted my decision with Ex, and then I met my now SO!

And anyway, it’s not about long term relationships, have fun woman!

Post # 19
Member
2347 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Anna113619:  GO!!!! 

My fiance was a rebound.  That was 4 years ago!  

Post # 20
Hostess
8829 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

Anna113619:  Go for it, I ended a simular relationship, 2 weeks later was on a date with an amazing man who (yes may be a rebound is as much as he is the next chap in my life!) I am pretty sure is the one. Give it a go.

Post # 21
Member
5659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Go, it’s not a proposal, it’s just a date! It’s good to get out and be distracted

Post # 22
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

 

Anna113619:  I just married my rebound 🙂  and the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. hahahaha tooootally kidding. but it can help distract you for a little while as you’re healing, if nothing else.

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