Post # 1
Hi! I was looking for information from anyone who has had a civil ceremony and later had a church wedding! I have read that some people disapprove of this. I personaly believe (without any disrespect to anyone elses opinion) that each couples individual circumstances for chosing to have a civil ceremony before the Church is their own personal right and if that is what they want to do or need to do so is entirely their right if acceptable with their Priest / Church. You cannot please everybody. We married in a quiet civil ceremony without telling family or friends (big family) as we knew it would be a long time before we could afford a Catholic Church family wedding and it would have upset them as they wanted to be there, we also wanted them there and missed them hugely on the day. Our intentions were to save until we could afford to have a family wedding. What makes it more difficult is some people reffering to the Church Wedding after the civil ceremony ”Not being a wedding but a blessing etc” the Church does not see us as been married so yes it is. After speaking with our Priest the wedding ceremony will be exactly the same only without signing the register at the end. I was wondering from couples with experience of this do they feel they made the right decision having the Church ceremony after the civil? Or were family and friends understaning of your reasons for having it that way? Thanks
Post # 3
As far as I know, you can’t separate the sacramental marriage from the civil marriage– they need to happen at the same time to be in good form. In this instance, the Church ceremony post-civil marriage would be a convalidation.
More here: http://catholicweddinghelp.com/questions/separate-ceremonies.htm
Post # 4
My problem with this idea begins with keeping the civil marriage a secret. If you are open and honest with your families and friends and invite them to the blessing of your marriage, then you are fine.
Post # 5
I’m having a convalidation ceremony this year. when we got “married”, it was just husband and I since we did it for legal reasons and had to be done quickly. We decided to marry in the Catholic church because we now have two children and we want to raise them in the Cathlic faith. We attend mass on Sundays and because my marriage is not valid in the Church, i cannot recieve communion and I don’t want to live our married life this way. When we went to our church however, our Parish explained that this IS our wedding, a marriage for society or the legal system does not provide God’s blessing therefore it is not recognized. Instead of us having to go through Pre-Cana however, we were required to complete 4 biblical retreats and one “Marriage Dynamics” retreat. As far as making the right decision? I believe i am. our family considers this our “real” wedding and are being very supportive. There’s always gonna be that family / friend that refers to your wedding as a “vow renewal”, “blessing” or what-not but I think it’s a cultural difference not everyone can understand. Good luck with your planning process. enjoy it. 🙂