Quitting a nanny job

posted 1 month ago in Career
Post # 2
Member
4025 posts
Honey bee

As a mom who has hired nannies in the past, give as much time as possible. It’s very difficult to find someone qualified who will work with your schedule (especially if its not a traditional full time schedule). I have had a nanny leave due to wanting more hours and finding something else…while it did suck for me to have to re-start that process, I understood the need for more work. I would approach it from that point, and again, give as much notice as possible. If you have any recommendations of other nannies who may be interested, that would be super helpful as well.

As for the not feeling part of the family bit. For me, it was a very hard thing to have someone else watch my child. I loved when a nanny truly seemed to care about my son, and was protective of him. I also always chatted with nannies and got to know them. But at the end of the day, you are an employee and having a family who believes in some boundaries, I don’t think is a bad thing. 

Post # 4
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

1 month is perfectly fine (and generous). Yes, it will be painful for the family to rearrange their schedules for the time being, but they’ll get over it.  I think being matter-of-fact and asking them what they’ll need in the transition is the way to go.  If they ask for what you can’t (or won’t) do, you can let the parents know and come up with an alternative. 

I don’t recommend approaching it from the “need more hours” perspective, unless that is the case. If they counteroffer by offering more money per hour, more hours, or setting you up with another local family for extra hours, you’ll be caught in an unnecessary lie.  If you are offered more permanent employment with potential for advancement and career growth, I’d use that as an explanation.

Post # 6
Member
4025 posts
Honey bee

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bluejaybride :  I gotcha RE the not feeling part of the family aspect…I thought that was one of your reasons for wanting to leave. Can you explain what the actual main reason for wanting to leave ASAP is? 

Post # 7
Member
6878 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

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whitums :  I read the OP the same way you did. 

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bluejaybride :  OP can you clarify why “I know with absolute certainty that the right thing for me is to leave as soon as possible.” It did sound like your main point of contention was not feeling like a part of the family but it sounds like that’s not right. 

Post # 8
Member
394 posts
Helper bee

I’d never advise people in any other type of job to do this – but as a mom with nannies, my suggestion is to tell them you’re looking for another job, and you’ll give them at least X amount of notice. 1 month notice is generous for normal jobs, but when a family relies on you for childcare, whether it’s a reasonable amount of time really depends on the nanny market. Parents are (understandably) very picky about who they trust to take care of their children, and speaking from experience, it can take a long time to find someone you feel comfortable with (or it can be quick!) 

Post # 9
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

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sandiegobee :  I disagree with this whole-heartedly.  If the parents find another childcare the week after OP gives them notice (say a grandparent agrees to move in), will they pay her for the remainder of the notice period?  Probably not.  The responsibility of notice goes both ways. Employers cannot expect more from their employees than they’d be obligated to give in return.

As the entity in the position of (relative) power, the employer is on the hook for making the relationship between notice and termination clear.  Any part time worker might know that they’re likely to leave a job in 6 months. It would be foolish to give 6 months notice to an employer who might fire you in 2 weeks, leaving you out of work for 5.5 months.  

If the parents wanted that kind of relationship with X months of notice, they could have put it in writing in a contract, and they have declined to do so.  If I expect 2 months of notice from an employee, it’s in a contract that also states that I won’t fire them during that time without just cause.  (At the very least, I say it to them if we’re talking about a freelancer.) 

 

Post # 10
Member
394 posts
Helper bee

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coffeecakez :  Okay, we can agree to disagree. I would absolutely pay out the remainder of the notice period, or until the nanny started the new job. When someone shows me respect (by being open and giving me ample time to find someone I trust to take care of my kids), I would do the same for them.

I’m also speaking from the perspective of having a nanny quit on me unexpectedly and then having to scramble for childcare, which isn’t a good situation to be in. 

Post # 11
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

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sandiegobee :  You sound very fair minded.  Unfortunately, I’ve seen MANY employees (full and part-time) adversely impacted by giving early notice.  Given the fact that OP has no contract, she has no reason to expect that she’ll be paid through an extended notice period, especially if the family hires a great alternative  who wants to start ASAP.

Post # 12
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

You really shouldn’t tell them you’re looking for a new job until you find one. I understand not wanting to leave them in a hard position, but the amount of notice you want to give is more than reasonable. The reality is if you told them now, they could find someone new and fire you in a week, and it’s insane to assume they’d pay out the notice period. They have no obligation to do that, so your priority needs to be protecting yourself. They’ll figure out childcare the same way every parent does when unexpected things happen

Post # 13
Member
9397 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

What’s the reason you’re leaving? If it’s solely an hours/pay thing, have you brought it up? Asking because if the family really doesn’t want to lose you, they may find additional hours where you’re needed or raise your pay to make up for it. I’ve seen people lose nannies they love who’ve said they wished they had known so they could’ve tried to work it out.

 

Post # 14
Member
4025 posts
Honey bee

I don’t agree with telling before you have another job, but I do think it should be ASAP and to give at least 2 weeks notice. Nannying is not like a regular job, as there is likely no one to cover for you if you leave suddenly. And just like the family is risking that they can lose you at any random time, you are risking losing them at any time without having a contract. So while I agree that giving a ton of notice may put you in a spot of having a small employment gap, that seems pretty fair to me since you are initiating putting them in a bad situation. 

Post # 15
Member
1683 posts
Bumble bee

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coffeecakez :  Likely no one involved thought too deeply about the whole written contract issue. OP is a seasoned nanny, so if she felt comfortable accepting the position without the terms in writing, I don’t think it’s totally fair to lay blame on the family for the lack thereof. Both sides appear to be OK with it. 

OP, If you dont want to burn bridges, once you’ve received an offer, I would frame it as a career change you are seeking to explore and would offer to pass on any leads you have for backup care or new nannies. 

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