Thank you all for sharing your thoughts and advice!
I’m sorry that my first post was confusing in terms of why I’m leaving. The not-part-of-the-family dynamic is not an issue at all, I was just trying to paint a fuller picture of the specific situation in terms of how my leaving would affect the family (minimal emotional impact).
I’m leaving for many reasons, the primary one being that I’m really looking to start developing a career with opportunity for growth. I no longer want to work in nannying whatsoever, so it’s not about leaving this family for another, I’m just moving onto a new path. The reasons for my urgency in leaving as soon as possible, well there are a few, but ultimately this situation is just not at all good for me at this point:
– the pay is simply not enough and they aren’t able or willing to offer more.
– it’s part time, so I’m only paid for 30 working hours. But I would not accept more hours at this job if they offered them, because as of current I’m working 10 hr days with no breaks, plus over an hour commute each way. I’m up at 4 am and home after 6pm. It’s really tiring.
– I’m struggling a lot with feeling isolated, and really want to be engaging with other adults at my workplace again. We’re in a new area and where we used to live I had more of a social life to sustain me while nannying there, but here I’ve had a hard time adjusting and being around only kids all week is compounding that, especially as the schedule makes it hard for me to socialize during the week outside of my husband even if I had more friends nearby. At times I find working with kids extremely rewarding, of course, but at this point I need to work somewhere where I can be around other adults (and have mandated breaks).
– one of the children, the eldest, is very challenging. I’ve worked with many challenging kids before, and have always engaged creative solutions and found a way to reach each of them, but it’s just not clicking with this one. He is smart and creative and awesome in a lot of ways, but he can be extremely mean-spirited, sneaky, and he bullies his younger siblings more than I’ve ever seen before. I’ve put a lot of time and energy into different approaches, but it’s just not working and the situation causes me severe migraines on a regular basis, especially when he’s home for full days. He makes it much harder than it should be to do just the basics of my job, like keeping everyone safe and making sure the core house rules (don’t throw mom’s lamp across the room, etc) are followed, let alone anything fun I try to plan. So it’s just become too much. I would love to avoid a single day more with all 3 kids home if I can, as it’s just too hard with him and the compensation far too little. (Yes, I’ve talked to the parents about it a bit, and they’re aware as he’s the same way with them and they’ll even tell me about family outtings they have getting ruined by his behavior. However, they have not created a safe space to really talk about how much I’m struggling with him, as while they’re great parents they can be a bit entitled about their kids- for example, they got mad to the point of nearly cutting off the mom’s brother for yelling at the eldest for bad behavior at his house, and they also complained to the school about the eldest’s teacher when the teacher reprimanded him. In other words, they’re not providing enough solidarity with me to be able to effectively discipline him either.) It really wears on my spirit to be called names screamed in my face, and be hit and kicked genuinely hard, by a 7 year old all day. It rolls off easier some days than others, but I am dreaming of a workplace where someone treating me that way is at least frowned upon lol.
– I’m constantly sick. Another thing that just comes with working with kids, but especially as I adapt to a new climate my immune system is just not holding up. The kids are always getting sick from school, and so I’m always getting sick too. While it’s just part of the job and no one’s fault, I’m really tired of feeling crappy all the time.
This job made more sense for me when I started- I needed a job quickly upon moving, so I went with my go-to job as I have a lot of experience and there are always people looking for childcare. As we were in the busiest part of wedding planning as well, it was not a good time then to try starting a new career. The location and hours worked around the job my husband had lined up when we moved, as we share a car for the moment, but his job circumstances have changed (his job is off-season now so he’s only working at that place very occasionally, and he’s starting school near our house) and so now it’s just me driving a long way by myself very early in the morning and it just doesn’t make sense anymore.
Anyways, to summarize, I really would like to leave this job as soon as possible. I do not want to be here for summer break with all 3 kids. I am making the most of it for the moment, but it’s taken it’s toll on my mental and physical health and I just need something different.
Finally, as for giving them notice now that I’m looking for other jobs: well, I just now found out that the potential job I mentioned before was filled before my interview, so I’m not even sure when the next promising opportunity will arise. I want to be as considerate as possible, but I also need to protect my livelihood too, and we could not afford for me to lose my job and go weeks without working before I have a new one lined up. As I’m entering a new field, I don’t know how long it will take to actually get a job, so it would make me very vulnerable. I can appreciate how tough it is to find a good nanny, but I think the best I can do is to give 3 weeks notice or more once I do have a new job, and to offer to assist in finding/screening a replacement if they’d like.
I think I addressed everything- thank you again for the input everyone!