(Closed) Rabbi Troubles….

posted 6 years ago in Jewish
Post # 3
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@ArtDecoLisa:  I would think that your Rabbi would know if she is renewing by mid winter at best, and if you do not want to fly her in, and pay for her lodging, you still should have plenty of time interviewing and finding a Rabbi with plenty of time.  You do not have the constraints of a mixed marriage (interfaith) as your conversion classes will be completed by then.  I found it very hard to find a Rabbi who would perform at an interfaith , although I did find one within a month of searching, and secured him 8 months prior to our wedding date.  Good Luck

Post # 4
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Honestly, I would plan to use a Rabbi that knows you well, as a more established relationship would make for a more meaningful ceremony. We used the rabbi at the synagogue my family is a member of; even though I left for college shortly after the rabbi had started, he knew my family well and I would see him often at the holidays. He got to know my then FH much better during our pre-wedding sessions, but our ceremony was very personal and meaningful (and we got lots of comments from our guests about how wonderful the ceremony was).

If your rabbi does not end up renewing her contract, you may be able to get a good deal on the flight if you can book early and perhaps you have friends or family to host her stay to help with costs? (Not sure if your rabbi keeps kosher)

Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@ArtDecoLisa:  I also converted after working one on one with a rabbi I selected at a shul near our home.  He was absolutely wonderful! Fiance and I did not get engaged until after my conversion was official, as I did not want speculation I had converted only for Fiance. I converted for me. That was a point I wanted to make clear to the rabbi and I hope that he will make clear at the wedding as well. After getting engaged I made she he was free for our wedding!

If it were me, I would bite the bullet and fly the rabbi you worked with back for the ceremony if needed. We spent so much time together on my conversion AND I felt comfortable with him.  And though it has gotten much better, at times I still feel somewhat insecure (is everyone in the shul staring at me, is it obvious I wasn’t born Jewish, Is my pronounciation wrong, etc.) that it’s very important I feel comfortable with the person performing the ceremony!

Mazel tov on your conversion!!

Post # 7
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

It sounds like having her would be really meaningful to you, and worth diverting a chunk of your budget in order to make it happen. Years from now, you and your Fiance won’t remember a thing about the tablecloths or the centerpieces, but I’m sure you will have fond memories of how warm and personal your ceremony was because of your wonderful officiant!

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