- 4 years ago
- Wedding: July 2014
Re-posting from other boards as I would like to hear from people who may have experienced this.
So I have an issue, I know it sounds terrible but I cannot stand my FIL’s. I will quickly list the few main reasons so you can see the kind of people they are:
They are racist and openly say that they do not want fh’s sister with a black man, and as her partner is black he is not allowed in their house. They even went as far as to say his sister had to pretend her partner was the plumber when her little brothers went round to her place as they didn’t want them to think being with a black person is okay.
Secondly their step Dad used to beat up his sister and I have zero tolerance for violence.
Thirdly the step Dad is an absolute pig and fh’s Mum uses him as an excuse for her own disgusting behaviour, I used to think she was scared of him so just allowed it but after seeing her behaviour towards fh she is no better. They talk to us like we are a piece of crap, no respect,nothing. When we told them we were getting married his Mum didn’t even get out of her chair to congratulate us and just laughed at us for how far away it was (a year and a half at the time). His step Dad has made me cry every time I have seen him because he goes out of his way to humiliate me or be rude to me in front of other guests or family members. His favorite trick is to pretend he cannot hear me when I am trying to talk to him. Last year he actually started telling people he had never met me and just because I have been to his home doesn’t mean he has met me.
My issue now is that fh wants me to change my wedding dates so they can come to the reception too which I am unhappy to do as I don’t even want them there in the first place. I am only allowing them to come to the ceremony as I can just about stomach them for a couple hours and as our reception is on a different day I am not inviting them to it, they will not know anything about it. Fh is creating a fuss about inviting them to the reception and saying we need to change the date to suit them, am I being selfish in putting my foot down and saying they can only come to the ceremony? I seriously cannot stand these people and I have been spat at every time I have tried to be nice to them, on some days when they have annoyed fh he tells me he agrees with me and that he doesn’t want them there either and other times he feels guilty and says he wants them there. What would you do?