(Closed) Racked with guilt. All the time.

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@MrsDrRose612:  I felt like this too. My mom paid for the food at our wedding which was 12K. Every one at work calls me the sorry girl because I am always apologizing because of guilt.

But, it eventually went away. I read your previous post from earlier today and it seems like your parents are VERY smart with money. I’m sure they have planned on paying for your wedding since the day you were born.

My guilt eventually went away. I made the smartest decisions I could when it came to money for the wedding. I felt better knowing that I found the best price on everything (including food). My mom was sooo adamant on paying so I just let it go.

Post # 4
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

It’s sweet of you to not run wild with your daddy’s checkbook, and really, in the end you should respect yourself & be proud of yourself for that 🙂  Honestly though, it’s their money, and you don’t get to tell them how to spend it or not spend it.  Take it easy on yourself or you’ll drive yourself insane!  Deep breathing, yoga, and wine, Lady!  You NEED ALL OF IT!!!

Post # 6
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

You really seem to care about staying on budget but it sounds like they’re paying and HAPPY to pay, they WANT to do this for you! Don’t take that pleasure away from them, if you’re not being extravagent (which it sounds like you’re not) let it go so you can relax and be happy and they can be happy. They want to do this for you to make you happy, if they spend the money only to upset you it’ll ruin it. Be reasonable with your requests and be thankful for their gift and all will be well. BREATHE! *hugs*

Post # 7
Member
14496 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

My parents paid for my recpetion also, and they were prepared to spend a lot more.  My mom told me to “go nuts” and do whatever I wanted.  $180/head?  That didnt sound too crazy to her and told me that if I liked it, it was fine. (But I doubt she multiplied that out by 150 people to see just what food would have cost).  But what I did was to just go about planning everything as if it were coming out of my own pocket so I didnt feel guilty about the actual amount spent.

Post # 8
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

This is how my Fiance and I felt when our parents helped us out with our first home. We are paying them back little by little, but the generosity was incredible, and I remember constantly asking everybody if it was ‘okay’ and ‘are you sure you don’t mind’ and ‘are you SURE you’re sure you don’t mind’, etc.

Sometimes, you’re lucky, and you have parents who can help you out. We just hope that in future, we can help out our parents just as much, if not more.

Post # 12
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@sienna76:  wow thank you. I feel like I can benefit from this as well

Post # 14
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@MrsDrRose612:  Ya I really can’t think of a better word for it. I thought it was more anxiety – I do get panic attacks on occasion. I live a pretty normal life but when it comes to certain things I worry like no other. And it usually involves people which is VERY tiring.

Post # 15
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

oh man, I can’t count how many times I curled up in the shower and bawled because of money when we started planning! my parents are fine with it but I feel so guilty!

to be honest, the only way I’m able to function and plan now is to absolutely ignore it.  I can’t let myself think about it at all.

Post # 16
Member
1576 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

And is all that guilt and sadness changing anything? Probably not. Designate a certain time to allow yourself to fully experience those feelings and then LET IT GO.

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