Post # 16
@beeranscupcakes From what I have found through research and various forums, there’s a chance they would tell us exactly that: a Catholic wedding isn’t for us. I am willing to try for dispensation (is that the word?), and to have a “mized wedding,” but I will not lie and deceive anyone just to be accepted to have a Catholic wedding. Whatever God you worship, lying is not acceptable. As I do have strong faith, I’m most definitely not comfortable lying just to have a Catholic wedding, whether it’s ‘my’ church or not.
Thank goodness I started planning early out of excitement. We are lucky that we at least have lots of time to explore different options.
Post # 17
It’s a tough spot you’re in. Darling Husband is Catholic, and I’m nonreligious, so I totally get where you’re coming from. We had a Protestant pastor marry us, and it was a good compromise for us.
I would focus on what your husband thinks. If it were important to him to have a Catholic wedding, it could be reasonable to suck it up and just do the dispensation from disparity of cult (since you’re not baptized). Does he realize that having a Catholic ceremony means that he has to promise the church that he’ll do everything he can to raise your kids Catholic? Even if you get the bishop’s approval or whatever, the Catholic church will NEVER consider a marriage to a non baptized Christian to be a sacrament. Does he realize all the implications of going through with it if he’s not even practicing?
You’re not going to get anywhere without your husband on board in this case. He needs to really figure out where he stands, and if he agrees with you, then you can both stand up to his parents.
Post # 18
“We married at a JOP in October 2014.”
Well I have good news then. You’re not looking at a typical marriage ceremony, you’re looking at a convalidation.
As you know, there are already a lot of things working against you. The whole Catholic/non-Catholic thing is actually really common, so that’s rarely an issue these days for a wedding ceremony in the US. However, I can almost guarantee you wouldn’t be able to get married outside the church. Plus- and the big one- you’re already married, so like I said, it’s a convalidation. Which in itself isn’t hard, but in general, it’s unlikely the priest would approve of a convalidation with a big reception, bridal party, and the whole shebang.
Is it possible that his parents don’t see a purpose in attending a wedding ceremony unless the couple is unmarried or it’s a Catholic ceremony?
Post # 19
I think it’s completely possible that’s where theyre at. But if that’s the case, they would’ve been wise to have said something back in the fall before we had our JOP. And if they honestly can’t see “the point” in attending their son’s wedding despite whatever route we choose to go, then that’s fine. I have said if my mother was putting me in that situation, I would let her know she isn’t welcome then.
We obviously need to speak with a priest about all the ins and outs, because neither K nor his parents seem to fully understand. Anything I’ve found online is slightly different from another website, or what some people are saying here, unless I’m just completely misunderstanding.
I think for any religious group to tell someone their marriage is not valid is preposterous. At the end of the day, it only matters to me what God thinks, not a bunch of religious leaders. I know I’ll receive some flack for that, but you have your beliefs and I am entitled to mine. (I say you as a general term to anyone who may read this, not any one particular poster)