(Closed) Raised Christian, coerscion into Catholic wedding (long-ish)

posted 5 years ago in Christian
Post # 17
7898 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It’s a tough spot you’re in. Darling Husband is Catholic, and I’m nonreligious, so I totally get where you’re coming from. We had a Protestant pastor marry us, and it was a good compromise for us.

I would focus on what your husband thinks. If it were important to him to have a Catholic wedding, it could be reasonable to suck it up and just do the dispensation from disparity of cult (since you’re not baptized). Does he realize that having a Catholic ceremony means that he has to promise the church that he’ll do everything he can to raise your kids Catholic? Even if you get the bishop’s approval or whatever, the Catholic church will NEVER consider a marriage to a non baptized Christian to be a sacrament. Does he realize all the implications of going through with it if he’s not even practicing?

You’re not going to get anywhere without your husband on board in this case. He needs to really figure out where he stands, and if he agrees with you, then you can both stand up to his parents. 

Post # 18
2454 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

“We married at a JOP in October 2014.”

Well I have good news then.  You’re not looking at a typical marriage ceremony, you’re looking at a convalidation.

As you know, there are already a lot of things working against you.  The whole Catholic/non-Catholic thing is actually really common, so that’s rarely an issue these days for a wedding ceremony in the US.  However, I can almost guarantee you wouldn’t be able to get married outside the church.  Plus- and the big one- you’re already married, so like I said, it’s a convalidation.  Which in itself isn’t hard, but in general, it’s unlikely the priest would approve of a convalidation with a big reception, bridal party, and the whole shebang.

Is it possible that his parents don’t see a purpose in attending a wedding ceremony unless the couple is unmarried or it’s a Catholic ceremony?

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