Post # 1
OK I need to get my guest list to the calligrapher oh in the next week.
So the guest list started at 30 grew to 80 and we trimmed to 70 with hopes of only 60 coming and by early May had our list pretty well set we thought. Our venue can hold 70 but it is tight – 60 is what is preferred so we cannot be that flexible.
Well umm here are some of the changes in the past month
Very good friend of ours was moving to China this summer. We removed them off the list before the final count. Now they changed their mind – ok add back to the list. (+4)
Fiance first cousin who is like a sister moves back to the US without warning (with a Boyfriend or Best Friend that the family cannot stand) she is invited but not if Boyfriend or Best Friend comes (really??) (+1)
Fiance deceased father’s aunt was on the list but his mother is mad at her (-1)
Single coworker of Fiance that we did not want to invite but could not leave off because we were inviting the rest of the team shacks up with a friend of mine from work – not originally close enough to invite her. But they just hooked up – so will leave his invite unaddressed and wait until right before they have to be sent out to see if they are still together. (maybe +1)
A couple that we are good friends with recently split. We are friends with both so we are faced with a (+2 (each gets a +1) -2(we do not send invites to either of them to avoid awkwardness) -1 (we just invite the female because guys aren’t as fond of weddings) or a net zero (her +1 or invite both of them and pray for civility)
Fiance children will not be able to come to the wedding due to a bad lawyer situation and his ex – so we will do a family ceremony at a later date with just them (-4)
Fiance Mother may want to remove a couple on her side and add a couple which may be a net zero but not sure yet – we are still waiting.
I am also good friends with my ex husband’s new wife’s ex. Yeah well we ended up having a common problem (both of our exes) and am inviting him and his wife who I love to the wedding. But I may have to invite my children’s stepbrother and sister to the wedding who I do not want their because they will report back to Mama which will go to my ex and cause all sorts of drama – have an email out on that one (possibly +2)
Anyone else feeling like this is a board game??!!!
Post # 3
The guest list was by far the most stressful part of the wedding.
We had a low-budget day, and our venue was small, so we knew it had to be tight. what I DIDN’T know is that no one from his side would end up coming. If I’d foreseen this, it would have made it A LOT easier!
We wrote up the initial guest list, it came to over 200 people. His family and friends in NY and my family and friends in MN, and then our friends together from NY. It was crazy.
I have a big extended family, so duh, have to invite them all. Plus we had a closeknit group of friends in NY, but we had two different groups.
I really regret the choices I made during this process.
We ended up leaving out an entire group of friends in NY so we could invite the other group, and left out most of my friends in MN so I could invite my family in MN.
Well considering only 7 people from his side (we had invited over 60 from his side) came, we ended up with only about 65-70 people at the wedding anyway, and had room for about 30 more! I was so upset because then I had people who wouldn’t be my friends after I got married because they weren’t invited, even though I had explained to sooo many people that it was family and CLOSE friends only (like SUPER CLOSE), and people take it sooo personally.
Anyway, something about weddings brings out the worst in everyone, sad, but true. I had more issues that year of my life relationships-wise than any other period of my life.
about your issue with your couple friend that broke up, I say invite both with a plus 1. Might be awkward but the other WILL feel left out if you only invite one.
Post # 4
Yeah. We’ve gone through so many revisions it’s not funny, adding, deleting, switching. As of today, I am holding off on mailing out the invites for one side of the family (drama central) until a decision is made as to whether an aunt and an uncle are cut or staying, I have to change one invite to Ms Maiden name instead of Mr and Mrs Married Name AND my mother has decided to tell people it’s fine to bring their kids to my adults only wedding. Right now, I honestly don’t know how many people are actually on the final list, and invites are made out and going out next week.
Post # 5
well everyone I knew I sent off to the Calligrapher
and my Future Mother-In-Law (may I add I love her and she is not an issue) tells me she is bringing an escort to the wedding and may invite a couple of her friends (with their husbands LOL) my Fiance got so frustrated because he was like I told her she could subtract 2 and then add 2 and wanted to call her. I said nope we will find some way to manage because I am thrilled that she is so excited about our wedding. My last Mother-In-Law almost boycotted our wedding and decided to skip my college graduation the next day to go to Graceland.
I finally have hit zen point. I will manage as best I can and have a sense of humor about everything else because this is probably going to be somewhat of a 3 ring circus LOL
Post # 6
I am still waiting on addresses and the “rest” of my moms list!! So aggrivating!