(Closed) Random invite requesters- I wanna hear your stories!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 33
1812 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@eagle:  Haha!  3 Made me laugh!  I think the kid is going to be more messed up being brought up by that kind of bigot.

We were put into a really awkward position when my godmother invited a couple of her alcoholic friends to the wedding.  She didn’t tell us, so you can imagine our confusion when a piss-drunk  man comes up to us and picks an argument because he’s not received his invitation yet. Errrrrr we’ve met you 5 times and you only remember meeting us two times out of that…

My boss was doing the same thing, but the person called us up to WARN us that she and all her colleagues had been invited by our boss, and that we should maybe have a word with her.  They all didn’t expect an invite luckily and were so so sweet about it.

Post # 34
23 posts
  • Wedding: July 2012

My fiancee and I play volleyball and the referee called the captains over to talk to him before the game and just told our captain to make sure to tell us to invite him to our wedding because he “knows it will be a good time and really wants to come”!!  WTF, people??

Post # 35
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@eagle:  Good for your mom on that last one!!!!

Post # 36
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

OMG…these people are CRAZY!!  I am originally from the north, but in the south…especially for Baptist weddings (no offense), it’s not uncommon to invite anyone and everyone.  I remember someone posting their daughter’s invitation on the bulletin board for anyone to come.  Are you crazy!??  If you are only having mints, nuts, and punch, I’m not coming anyway.  

The PE teacher at my school emailed me once I got engaged and said “I hope I’ll be invited to your wedding”.  I never responded.  One, you weren’t going to be invited anyway, but two, now you’re REALLY not invited because you asked. The end.

Post # 37
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Pinksapphire:  “What makes someone think I’m gonna bump them up on the list ahead of people I actually know and love?”

This is my issue today. I am waiting for the hurt reply from my mom who emailed me yesterday to say that, after thinking it over, she’s decided she wants me to invite some old friends of theirs who made a big deal about having my parents to their daughter’s wedding several years ago. I had to write back that I’m already addressing invitations – the list is set – and can’t possibly add anyone right now, and if I did, it would be some of the 15 or 20 of our own friends Fiance and I are sad we can’t invite. And can I add that these people invited my parents to that wedding, but not me? So I’m supposed to skip over college friends whose weddings and baby showers I attended, for this couple?

Guest list stuff stresses me out more than anything else, because I do come from that deep south background of inviting everyone in town (in my old church back in my old hometown, we put an announcement in the church bulletin the sunday before the wedding, inviting everyone to come – that’s in addition to a couple hundred invitations). I wish I could do that, but I’m having a small wedding (hear that, Mom? SMALL WEDDING). Grrrrrrrr. 

Post # 38
637 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

My mom’s long time friend, whom she is not close with anymore, maybe seeing once a year or sth.  Asked her if she can come to my wedding. 

She lives in overseas so the ticket alone would have been over 1000 dollars per person.  Ok she wants to spend this kind of money on me, okay.  Last time I see her was probably like 20 years ago and back then probably seen her like a few times.

It TURNS out she wants to come and bring her 17 year old daughter with her as the daughter wants to check out universities in the States and THINK they can have something to do so decided to invite themselves to my wedding, since it’s on the way. 

Say WHAT?!  You want to come not because of my wedding but because you are checking out other stuff and thought you can STOP BY?  I haven’t even met the daughter! 

Mom is gonna tell her sorry it’s a small wedding. 

ugh…Crazy lady…..


Post # 39
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Hahaha I love this thread. People are nuts!!! Fiance and I are having a small wedding outside Seattle (we live in Virginia), so it has long been understood from the moment we got engaged that though we would LOVE to invite all our VA friends, we simply cannot so we are only inviting one couple we’re close with here, who are in the wedding party. All the other guests have known us since we were about waist-high.

Well, FI and I are both members of a running club called the Hash House Harriers and all the hashers are invited to a “hash-wedding” we’ll throw over the summer, so it’s not like they’re even missing out on the fun! Everyone has been so completely understanding of this that I feel comfortable talking about wedding plans with them, because they all know they aren’t invited and have no problem with this.

Except one guy, who we aren’t even that close to, who pitched a fit about not being invited. This guy is in his 50’s and has grown children who are all married. So he ought to know better. But nooooo, he whines that he isn’t invited and I say “well, NOBODY is invited from here!” “But K and E get to go!!” “They are IN the wedding.” “So? I know people I can stay with in Seattle!” (keep in mind we’re not paying for anyone’s lodging so this is totally irrelevant).

A grown man. Whining that he doesn’t get to go but the bridal party gets to go and it isn’t fair. And he keeps bringing it up even though I told him not to bring it up anymore. What in the hell is wrong with people!!?!?!??!

Post # 40
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

hahahaha I’m so happy to hear I’m not the only one with crazy “friends” and family members’ family who demand invites.

The best random invite was from my DH’s aunt. She is my MIL’s sister. She has a family of 5, they live out of state. They RSVP-ed yes to our wedding. Great! 2 weeks before our wedding, aunt in law calls Mother-In-Law and asks if she can bring her brother in law and his family of 4. They live in Los Angeles, so about an hour from where our wedding is. My Mother-In-Law told her we were having a small wedding, but she would check with us. We happened to have older relatives (grandmother in law’s siblings) who said yes on the RSVP card and then around this time said “no the drive is too far” So we did have a couple of empty seats, so we said sure, they can come. It was too late to change our guest count by this time so we would have to pay for those meals regardless. Mother-In-Law goes back to her sister says sure bring your brother in laws family. Yay. Now aunt in law goes “their kids only want to come if they can sit with their cousins”. W-T-F uninvited guests that come with demands?!!??!! Thankfully my Mother-In-Law agreed that all of this was ridiculous and out of line so she told her NO, then don’t bring your niece and nephew. She only told us about the demand after hand to let us know only 2 random strangers we’d NEVER met before in our lives would be attending our wedding and not 4. The 3 of us laughed over how ridiculous aunt in law was. I was really thankful that my Mother-In-Law put her foot down with her sister and didn’t put us in that awkward situation.

My poor Mother-In-Law actually got a lot of phone calls asking why they weren’t invited. So when she did ask us to add a guest or two or four we knew she was only doing so for a good reason.

Post # 41
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

@eagle:  Your Mom kicks ass!

@SapphireSun:  Shaking my head. Is your reception there, too? Going to be a little awkward when there’s NO CHAIR for her at the ceremony! Wow. Does she know what time your wedding is?

Post # 42
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Oh, these are good.  I tried to put the ka-bosh on that shit quickly by always talking about what a small wedding it was and hinting that we were paying for it (we are).  But…

1) Friend that Fiance grew up with and we see maybe once a year.  Nice girl, but neither of us are close with her – she’s a few years younger than him, her older brother is actually closer to our age.  Over Christmas she was over at his parents’ for the 3 hours a year we see her and started talking about weddings (his brother is also getting “married” two weeks before us).  “Oh, I don’t know if I can make it to both so close together, I can probably only get time off for one!”  I gave MrJ the look and he handled that one…

2) His college roommate/friend is invited (whatever, he’s nice enough).  He sent MrJ a text asking “so is otheroommate coming to your wedding?”  I took his phone and wrote him back “na, we could only invite 40 people so we didn’t have room…”  Otherroommate is an ass, always planning guys’ weekends and asking MrJ to go to Vegas, posting pictures of his wife’s boobs on FB.  No thanks.  Neither of us want him anywhere close to the wedding. 

I also made a “Wedding” group on FB and other than the “I got engaged” post only post anything wedding-related (and rarely at that) for people who are invited. 

Post # 44
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@eagle:  I tried to just say tactfully that unfortunately we have to stick with the numbers and we would invite everyone if we could.  But I thanked him for wanting to come! 


Its funny that I felt awkward in how I needed to respond to him, but he surely didn’t feel that way in asking!

@teamajax13:  Right!!!

@MsNarwhal:  and yea girl….all i kept singing in my head was “that ish cray” lol!!!

Post # 45
7002 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

My stepmom works with a girl who is my age, and happesn to be their next door neighbor. They’re actually kind of close, but I don’t really know this girl aside from a hello every now and then, and friends on facebook. She got married a few months ago, and I wasn’t invited to her wedding.

I just got a text from my stepmom saying that “Susie wants to come to your wedding…I completely understand about not inviting everyong. She’s trying to make you a friend…” Ummm….really? We’ve hardly spoken two words to each other. HOW is she trying to make me a friend??? 

I actually laughed at that, and couldn’t understand how someone who had just planned their own wedding could be so oblivious to how bad that looks??

Post # 46
5095 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@eagle:  Your mom wins forever.

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