Random Wedding Questions – I Need Advice Please!

posted 7 months ago in Logistics
Post # 2
1005 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Could these be separate posts? I’ll try my best here..


1) When did you go cake tasting? Nope, I didn’t live near the city I got married in. Parents did it for me.

What if you already have a vision in your head but just want to go cake tasting for a) the experience and fun but also b) to try new flavors you aren’t sure you would like or not? Did your fiance go with you? My fiance won’t be able to since he doesn’t return from overseas until two months before the wedding. If your fiance chose not to go, did he care? My fiance is adamant that he doesn’t care but I really wish I could include him somehow… Don’t delay your wedding planning for this, especially if he doesn’t care. Buy some cupcakes from the baker later when he gets home!

2) When did you go ring shopping? Again, fiance is overseas until two months before the wedding. Have people had good luck with getting wedding bands on Etsy? Are they good quality? My fiance is kinda hesitant (despite a return/exchange policy)because he wants to physically try the rings on. I get that. Plus, he has no idea what size he is, which makes this tricky. What would you do? Men’s rings don’t take too long. Wait until he gets home, but show him some of your ideas.

3) Pertaining to Catholics –   Not Catholic, so I’ll skip this one.

4) Kids food at reception: how old is “old enough” for them to get the adult meals? I’ve never had children before so I’m unsure. 12 for most caterers I was thinking if they were over 5 or 6? What about who needs their own chair? I have access to high chairs and booster seats, so that’s not a problem, but I’m unsure how old is “old enough” for a kid to get their own seat and eat adult food. Every butt over 2 gets a seat. We aren’t going to do a kids table because the crowd is just way too big, so the kids will sit with their families.

5) Hotel gift bags. Pleeeeeeeeease help on this one lol. I have a strange situation. Because we have so many people invited, we’ve made room blocks at two hotels, and because of hotel limitations, there are not enough blocked rooms for everyone if EVERYONE was gonna come (if everyone came we would need around 80 rooms – we blocked 50). Has anyone been in this situation? Is there a way to tell how many of our guests are at each hotel ultimately? The other option would be to have the gift bags at the reception; has anyone done it that way? Was it successful? Skipped goody bags. Our hotel had a free happy hour and we invited everyone to a free dance lesson (first two drinks were also free). We provided enough cheap entertainment. Bags at the reception would be easier if you still want to do this.

Thank you for tolerating all my questions  Wedding planning is nutso lol 

Post # 4
1005 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

megm1099 :  I went to a wedding on a boat and it was going to be a couple hours before dinner was served. The couple had goody bags of snacks for us to munch on while we waited for dinner πŸ™‚

Post # 5
7396 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

1. Cake tasting: if your fiance is adamant that he doesn’t care, then take his word for it. You don’t have to include him in the tasting. Go whenever you want. Take a friend, enjoy some cake. You should already have a good idea of what you want when you book your tasting; your tasting is really for you and the baker to confirm that what you want actually works, not to spark your imagination.

Bonus points: it’s okay for something to be important to you (like a cake tasting) and unimportant to your fiance.  Attempts to convolute your schedule so he can participate mean you’re spending a lot of energy on something that is ultimately of low value, so don’t waste your time or his. 

2. Since he has to wear the ring, he should choose where he buys it. Two months is plenty of time to get most mens’ rings from a brick-and-mortar jeweler.  Just make sure you inform the jeweler of the timeline when you first start shopping.

3. No one will care about the music at the church, as long as the volume is appropriate. Play whatever you like that the church allows.

4. Plan a chair for every guest, even babies, and you can just swap them for high chairs as needed. The age cut-off for the kids meals will depend on your caterer. 

5. Each hotel should be able to provide you a list of guests who have booked into your block. Make up one welcome bag per room and give them to the hotel front desk to hand out. Some hotels charge a small fee (like $2 per bag) if you don’t buy the bag from them.  Anyone who’s not booked into your block doesn’t get a bag (because how will you know where to deliver it?). 

Post # 6
4601 posts
Honey bee

Hello there!

1.) So we cake tasted twice. I have severe food allergies so we had to find a safe bakery that had cake that tasted good to everyone as well. A local place made us their cake that was our favorite treat! It was a hit. 

2.) We went together after living together for abour.. 9 months?? I straight up pointed to a Jared and said we should check it out. We started shopping a week later. Found one soon and he proposed 3 weeks later. I’m allergic to many metals (ugh) so he wanted me to pick. 

For his ring we ordered at the same time as my wedding band. But not sure how early we ordered. I’d ask the specific place how long they need. Like look st a few, see what he likes then ask the place, tell them why you’re asking. 

3.) I’m not Catholic 

4.) I listed the options and let the parents decide a couple of the children wanted the entrees and their parents orderd it so I put the order in. Unless you have like 30 children coming I wouldn’t worry about this too much and I’d let the parent decide. We had minimums to meet too so it didn’t really affect the price. 

5.) We tried to do a block. We had people coming from various places including overseas I had trouble getting people to commit to a hotel or the same hotel so we skipped this part completely. Plus one if the local hotels that we recommended had major construction going on and didnt tell us until we visited. So I had to call the guests that booked to cancel. No discounts either! That hotel sucked who wants to pay a lot to be in a construction zone?! So I’d give recommendations and that’s it unless you have a bunch of people comfirmed for a particular hotel. 


Post # 8
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

1) When did you go cake tasting? We didn’t. We booked a bakery that we knew we liked and we are doing angelfood cupcakes instead of a traditional cake. As PP said, you can go by yourself. My fiance was traveling for work when we did caterer food tastings. His mom came with my parents and I as his voice. 

2) When did you go ring shopping? We went last week, but that’s because I want my ring to have my grandmother’s (very small!) diamond in it. So mine will probably take a little more time. My fiance’s ring is already in and ready for him to try on. It took less than a week. Plus, depending on the metal he may not be able to have it sized or anything, so just have him look when he gets back. If you want something custom or special for yours go try them on with a friend/family member and show him pictures! I will say that custom female rings have taken a little over a month with our jeweler. 

3) Catholic Music: I think you can have as many latin songs as you would like. List the songs in your program, so people can pick up the hymnal and sing along. If you are worried about too many, stick to the Ave Maria. Its just so beautiful in the church! 

4) Kids food at reception: Your caterer will determine what the age cut off is. If you have someone close to the age cutoff, you can ask the family what their kids would prefer. 

5) Hotel gift bags: Book your 50 hotel rooms and as they start to fill up, ask the hotels to release more to you. We are doing the same thing, we are calling weekly to get more rooms released as the ones we already have booked have filled up. For the goody bags, the hotel can provide you a number of people who have booked your rooms. I have always gotten them at the front desk. When I checked in, the hotel saw it was under a wedding block and handed us a goody bag. This worked fine. I wouldn’t bring them to the actual wedding. 

Post # 9
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

1. Go with a friend or family member.  This is one of those fun to-do tasks where people are actually happy to help.  πŸ™‚

2. Ditto as PP mentioned, you should choose your own rings.  Doing it in person is nice, because sizing varies a bit, depending on width and curvature.  It takes maybe a few weeks.

3. n/a

4. Depends on catering company.  Unless the child is an infant and can’t sit on his/her own, then plan on a high chair or regular chair (some parents will bring this kid chair contraption that straps onto a regular adult chair).

5. Skip the bags at the hotels, do it at the reception.  I’m not sure of your location, but for me, we blocked off 20 rooms, and I think 2 got booked.  Most found other places or stayed with friends in the area.

Post # 10
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

1. Cake tasting. We’ve gone to two and are going to one more. I know the design I want, but the tasting is more for flavors and picking the final vendor. Don’t wait for your fiancé… take your mom or moh. We started looking one year out… but I’d say you have easily until 4 months out to make a decision.

2. Because he doesn’t know his size, wait until he’s home. But you should do immediately. Worst case you could always get a stand in ring and pick one after you’re married. 

3. Play what you like. 

4. I think a cut off at 12 is normal for caterers, but ultimately you can pick a lower age if you know the kid eats a lot or wouldn’t like the kids meal.

5. My parents did gift bags in the rooms. Worked out nicely. Each had water bottles, maps, event schedules for the weekends, some nuts and chocolate. 

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