(Closed) Rant about FSIL…sorry, a little long!

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

That is super tacky. He should say something. You’re right that she’s the one who will look bad, not you or your Fiance. Sorry sweetie!

Post # 4
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’ll trade you one of my bridesmaids (my spoiled, ignorant & selfish cousin who ALSO decided she needed to move her (2nd) wedding from next year…to a month exactly before mine) for your spoiled, ignorant & selfish FSIL?  That way we can both get rid of our worst wedding nightmares and no dresses are wasted ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 5
Member
1103 posts
Bumble bee

I understand his hurt feelings. I have seen weddings where a sibling isn’t in a bridal party though (usually opposite gender) – my friend’s brother was their MC, for example, rather than a Groomsmen. I’d be hurt too especially considering all the drama she has caused AND the massive bridal party, but there’s not much you can do about it now. Just be polite I guess ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@yelsha439 Well said!!!

I think he needs to say something to her.  After all, they are brothers and sisters and should be able to tell each other any thing even if it’s not etiquitte to ask if you can be a Groomsmen.  He needs to say something along the lines as “Hey you are one short of a Groomsmen, I think I should be in that position”.  Easier said than done I suppose…  

 

Post # 8
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

Maybe you should be mean to her so she does quit the wedding ๐Ÿ˜‰ I kid… kind of. She sounds lovely!

My first suggestion would be to have him talk to his mother or (if your close with her) drop a hint that it really hurts his feelings that he is not in his sisters wedding. If she is going to take sisters side (which it sounds like she might) then my second suggestion would be to let him know how deeply sorry you are that his sister is so selfish and take your Fiance out to do something fun and show him why he is marrying you, because you are going to be his pick-me-up when he is down.

Sibling weddings near one another are so stressful and if she is going to be like that she is going to act that way the rest of your lives. Stay at a distance and try to invite her into your life as little as possible once the wedding is over. No one said you had to like her you just have to deal with her.

Post # 9
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I was surprised when my brothers wife who I had barely met asked me to be a bridesmaid. It was the most awkward experience for both my Fiance and I. I knew NO ONE AT ALL on either side of the bridal party, he hadn’t met anyone in my family as of then, and he was sat at a table with my whole family while I was sat with people I didn’t know at the head table.

For our wedding, we have having 8 each, and siblings both Mine and his aren’t in the party. My parents weren’t happy but we stuck to it. Fiance barely knows my bro (and my bro has never warmed up to him) and while I know my Future Sister-In-Law better… we’re not really “friends.” We decided to keep it even and just say, No sibs. We are involving them in other ways that to me, mean more than being in the wedding party.

Does her groom have siblings in the party? Bottom line, if he’s hurt then I would def. say he needs to talk to her.

Post # 10
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee

I feel your pain… I asked my Future Sister-In-Law to be in the wedding out of what I felt was etiquette. BIG MISTAKE! She acted really excited at first but dropped out right when the dresses had to be ordered because she expected me to pay for the dress…

It was $99 :/

Why are FSIL’s such a PAIN!?

Post # 12
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m sorry you and your Fiance are going through this.  How horrible to not have your brother in your wedding.  That was the most important thing to me.  Obviously, her priorites are not with her own family.  I agree that he needs to say something to her. 

And if I were you, I would do what it took for her to “quit” the wedding, though I’m sure it wouldn’t take much.  I would be worried that she would be trying to steal the spotlight on your wedding day.  If she won’t talk to her family for 2 days because they didn’t pay enough attention to her, how is she going to react when all the attention is on you?  I hope that doesn’t happen, but it could be something to be concerned over. 

 

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