Post # 1
I’m a full figured gal. I’ve always been. And I’ve learned to embrace it. For the most part I have a healty lifestyle. My future husband and I live in a remote community, there are no restaurants. On top of walking my dog every day, I manage to squeeze in 2-3 workouts per week. I cook healthy meals but I do enjoy beer, desserts and wine. A few years ago, I’ve realized since I’m not willing to give up beer, cannot imagine my life without cake and I’m not willing to live at the gym, I’ve accepted that this is pretty much the size I will be. I’m good with that.
But since announcing my engagement, people constantly ask me how much weight I’m planning on losing before the wedding. When I tell them that I’m not planning on losing weight, they look at me shocked, as if it’s not possible for a fat girl to think she looks fine the way she is. Then I get all the unsolicited advices like “all you need to do is cut out the junk food” or “just work out 20 minutes a day”. Even my mom got on the bandwagon by asking “don’t you want to look beautiful on the day of your wedding?”. She has stopped since my BF told her off.
The thing is I’ve been a size 18 for most of my life. Why would I want to look drastically different the day of my wedding? People don’t ask if you are planning on radically change the colour of your hair for the wedding? Or change the size of your boobs? Or get lips implants? What gives them the permission to expect overweight women to lose weight for their wedding?
Any-hoo, like I said, I’m fine with my size and I know that I will look fabulous on my wedding day. I’m just peeved now cus a co-worker asked me that question again this morning!
Post # 3
people are beyond rude sometimes! i am so sorry people have said that shit to you 🙁 good for you for being happy with who you are! i always said i didnt get the mania to lose weight just for your wedding, since clearly your Fiance loves you as you are!
i am a 14/16 and i havent heard any of that crap, but i have lost about 25lbs since i got engaged so maybe thats saved me. it has little to do with the wedding. i really want to be as healthy as i can be when we have kids, and unlike you, i definitely was eating junk food and being lazy!
Post # 4
@goodgenie: I am so sorry you’re having to put up with such rudeness! If someone says it again, tell them you won’t even dignify such a rude comment with an answer, and walk away.
Good for you for having a healthy, happy lifestyle and good for you for accepting yourself, at any size! That’s so wonderful, I love hearing women who have embraced their own inner (and outer) Goddess!! And you’re marrying the man you love, who loves you in all your beauty and glory, just the way you ARE.
Post # 5
I think the reason people feel like they can discuss weight loss is because it’s tied to health, whereas lip size and hair color aren’t. I can definitely understand being hurt by those kinds of comments, but it’s so ingrained in our society that thin=good, it’s hard to get away from this mindset. The stereotype of overweight lazy people doesn’t help either, but as long as you’re happy with yourself, that’s all that matters! I’m sure you will be a beautiful bride!
Post # 6
uuuugh, people!!!!! I feel ya sista!
Yes, this sucks. The only consolation (and it’s not) is that they will do it to you all over again when you get pregnant or as they ask when you are going to have a baby. then they’ll look at you as if they just watched you beat your baby, smoke some crack or down a 1/5 of vodka……. It’s maddening.
I am also not planning on losing weight for my wedding. No one’s bugging me about it, cuz it’s basically just my family and they love me as I am 🙂
I’m about a size 20. Have been since college. I fall into the “fit but fat” category, that anyone skinny, any nutritionist or dietician and most of the health care professionals don’t really want to admit exists.
Yesterday I biked almost 3 miles. I make healthy meals and *try* to get as much exercise as I can.
I go to Dr appts and they say “we’re going to need to talk about your blood pressure”. I say “do you want to take it first?”
They sort of 1/2 laugh and then take my blood pressure. “oh, 110/68. Well, it’s fine now…. but it’s just a matter of time. What about your blood surgar?”
Me: “we checked that the last 4 times I was here. it was fine. I bet it’s still fine, but we can re-check it fi you want.”
REALLY? I’m 40. Suck it.
Here is what I will tell you. My sister is OBSESSIVE about working out and what she eats. Like, in the not really healthy category. She does weight training and light cardio EVERY MORNING from 5-5:30 and THEN takes a spinning class 4X a week. She eats like a bird. AND IS STILL A SIZE 14. I’m just not willing to basically work an extra job working out AND STILL not be thin.
So, I’ll stay at my “natural’ weight. I’ll exercise and eat healthy. So…. there!!!!!!!!
TANGENT………I actually LOST weight when I was pregnant, though. And my Dr said “well, that’s what it’s like when something inside you has a metablism” hahahahaha. He was my 2nd Dr. The first told me I needed to lose 80 pounds before he would feel “comfortable” with me being pregnant. I said….. If I lost 80 pounds I’d weigh less than I weighed in jr High and I’m already pregnant so we better get comfortable quick! He then told me to cut out dessert after dinner. I said “what do I do if I don’t eat dessert?” He said “cut out the potato chips and soda”. I said “don’t eat ’em…. throw another at me”. He just glared. So, I found a new Dr and it went MUCH better.
Congrats on your wedding! I’d love to see pics of your dress!
Post # 7
You sound like you are plenty healthy in the way you eat and exercise and good for you for being happy with your figure! Maybe if someone brings it up again, say something like “Oh, I’m sorry you think I’d be more beautiful if I were thinner, but I think I’m beautiful and I love my curves.”
Post # 8
Yay for loving ourselves the way we are! Thanks ladies for the support! That’s why I love this board!
Most of the time I can let the comments slide off my back, but today (monday morning!) I was not in the mood. Plus, it aggravates me when people tell me to just drop the junk food.
@Bostongirl: Congrats on the weight lost and being healthy for when you start TTC!!!
@3xaCharm: I know what you mean. It’s annoying when Drs try to find something wrong with you just cus you’re overweight. The last time I got my blood pressure taken, it was fine and the nurse said “oh I guess you are having a good day.” Seriously?!?!? I told her to look at my chart and said “well I guess i always have good days when I get my pressure taken!”
oh – and here’s the dress:
Post # 9
thanks! and you are rocking that dress!!! you look amazing!!! who makes it???
Post # 10
You look fantastic in the dress! It fit’s your figure really well. Don’t take their comments personally. I wear a size 4/6 and I’ve been getting the same question! “Going to add a few extra situps?” “Your arms could use some toning..” Seriously? Ugh! Some people just can’t be 100% happy for you! If you’re happy and healthy, size doesn’t matter!
Post # 11
That is incredibly rude. I don’t know why anyone thinks it’s ok to ask a person something like that, I can totally understand why you would be upset/annoyed with it. I think you look amazing in your dress!
Post # 12
I’m surprised doctors are giving you so much trouble, size 20 isn’t that big, depending on the person.
In general, it’s best to eat healthy and exercise–and whatever weight you fall into while doing that is probably what is best for you–your set point if you will
I’m not plus sized but not skinny–and people ask me how much weight I plan to lose for the wedding all the time–because brides are notorious for going on crash diets–whatever if I don’t like how I look in the pics I’m photoshopping lol
Post # 13
ugh people are soo rude smh
Post # 14
People suck. Health isn’t determined solely by the number on the scale. You’re happy and healthy. That’s all that matters.
Wow at your dress! You look amazing. Where is the dress from?
Post # 15
@Bostongirl: the dress is Mori Lee Julietta 3112!
@abbie017: urg! it’s a no-win-situation. My cousin is tiny (like they created size 0 for her) and all she kept hearing when she was getting married was “you need to eat now to bulk up to fill that dress”. Poor thing, she eats more than I do.
Post # 16
That’s so rude! I’m sorry people would even say that. I don’t have any advice but I’m willing to commiserate that people can be horrible. Your dress is beautiful!