Rant about your FMIL/MIL here

posted 5 years ago in Family
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  • Post # 16
    Member
    1780 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    countingstars:  Oh good lord my Mother-In-Law is on a roll right now…to the point that Darling Husband is considering permanently cutting ties…..its been terrible since the wedding…and it is beyond redikulous….since we are no longer useful for her to play the “dotting mommy” to her son we are now back to being dog s*** and SIL is gods gift to creation….this week has been a roller coaster….

    —We have been married over a month and she is still griping that SIL was not the star of the show…(she wanted her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor, or a key speaker, or a soloist or something SUPER important….when she literally has nothing to do with us….ever) and she has complained at every family dinner since then very loudly that she was upset that on OUR FREAKING WEDDING DAY people were more interested in paying attention to us…then hearing about FSILs tough decision between having another kid for her inlaws to basically raise and since by god who exercises post partum she has to choose between another baby OR a boob job, tummy tuck, and lipo because she has to be “the hot mom”(her words)….the poor thing….i personaly think that if you have to decide between a baby and new boobs you should probably pick the boobs because you obviously dont want the baby that much….esp since your concern is how good you will look in a swimsuit….but clearly excerise and healthy eating is for “less fortunate people”….

    —MIL is also now on a kick that since SIL is considering the above (baby vs. boobs) that we are NOT ALLOWED to get pregnant until she decides….because it would be RUDE of ME to even consider being pregnant at the same time as SIL….because it would “selfishly” take attention away from SILs possible pregnancy….and she is going to take 2 years to decide if she is done with babies completely or not….so Mother-In-Law flat out told me she expects US to wait until her and SIL decide its been an appropriate length of time from any of SILs pregnancies because we cant be pregnant at the same time, and if SIL has a baby we “have” to wait x amount of time to have our baby (like according to Mother-In-Law after SIL’s potential next kid’s first birthday)…to which i told her and SIL in no uncertain terms that we would have a baby when we want regardless of wether SIL gets knocked up again, and if Mother-In-Law had a problem with that then she didnt have to be in the babies life….she thinks im bluffing….but we are gearing up to TTC next spring/summer and we have not told anyone our plans….but we are holding firm and Darling Husband is the driving force behind the decision to cut her out if she gets too bad….sad thing is….its only Mother-In-Law and SIL…acting like this….the rest of the family cant wait for us to get pregnant….and i get told all the time we will be wonderful parents….which infuriates SIL even more because she is one of those “judgement mommies”….and no other mom is as good as her and she tells EVERYONE thats how it is…even her other SILs who btw are wonderful mothers….more so then SIL (whom really dosent have anything to do with her kids unless there is a show to be made….her husband does everything with them…and we all suspect the little one isnt even his)….but by goodness she is the ONLY good christian mom on the planet….according to her….in 8 years i have never heard her say one positive thing about another mother…only how they are doing it wrong because they dont do it her way and she reads blogs by god….

    I could write a novel on this woman off and on…she will be good for a year then shes hell to deal with for 2….my mom isnt much better….so now i have 2 shinning examples of what not to be as a monther….

    Post # 17
    Member
    683 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    wow… I’m so sorry.

    wow.

    I just can’t…

    please oh please don’t let me be this woman when I am the MIL!

    Post # 18
    Member
    5618 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I suppose I can contribute…

    Both Fiance and I cut Future Mother-In-Law out of our lives about a month ago now.  There are a lot of problems there… but I won’t go into it.  Let’s just say, it’s been a long time coming.  We’ve both been so happy since neither of us can hear from her (we literally blocked her on everything).  But every time something big happens to us, and she hears about it, she goes off on everyone else, and, of course, we end up hearing about it.

    After the big “blow out” a month ago, my FI’s great aunt (FMIL’s aunt) called me two days later.  She never mentions anything Future Mother-In-Law said, which I appreciate.  I’m sure she’s just calling to see if we’re okay, or to report anything back to Future Mother-In-Law.  The same thing happened when we got engaged this weekend… his great aunt (such a sweet lady) called and asked if we wanted calendars.  I didn’t mention the engagement, but his great aunt is invited, and should be receiving the save the date this week.  But I guess Future Mother-In-Law also called Future Father-In-Law (divorced for decades, she’s remarried through common law) THREE times on Saturday b*tching about our engagement.  FMIL knew it was coming.  She was introducing me as his fiancee back in June…  FI’s younger sister, who still lives with Future Mother-In-Law, is coming over tonight to get her save the date, and I’m sure Future Mother-In-Law has said a bunch of nasty things to her too.

    Future Mother-In-Law just tries to weasel her way into our lives and cause drama any way she can.  I can’t wait until I’m just used to the cut ties and what she does and says is 100% off my radar.  It takes some getting used to… dealing with a person like this.

    Post # 19
    Member
    4698 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Soonerbee07:  If she chooses to get boobs instead, are they banned for you as well?

    Sorry, I had to. That’s so hilarious (and ridiculous)!

    Post # 20
    Member
    677 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - SPRING VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB

    I am once again dreading the holidays because i know i have to see her and hear her utterly ridiculous comments. I mean she really just gets under my skin so bad!

    She ruined the engagement surprize by introducing me to a bunch of strangers as “This is my son’s fiance” I kinda new at that point, but I had to play it off because he would have been so hurt if he knew she ruined the suprize.

    Our wedding was in September and the whole night she sat there all sullen and upset. Mind you she asked us about once a week before we got engaged “why aren’t you married”. She Didn’t want to do the mother son dance with my Darling Husband cuz she didn’t want anyone looking at her? I am mean seriously? She then made comments about how much attention I was getting, and why did I  deserve that.

    Since the wedding she’s begun to act like a jeaous ex girlfriend. She’s called him to go hang photos up on a wall, like  She never ever stops pushing church on me, it’s been almost 7 years, I am not sure how more times I to tell her “I AM ALL SET”  So now i have to engage during the holidays and be in her home. I feel so uncomfortable around her, like she is watching my every move and taking notes.

    UGH!

     

    Post # 21
    Member
    1780 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    KC-2722:  haha damn i didnt think to ask…..it was redikulous…..i do take into consideration that Mother-In-Law was drunk (shes an alcoholic) when shes said these things to me….but im a big believer that drunken words are sober thoughts….that and shes said it sober too….its redikulous together they are worse then two spoiled 5 year old…but damn i should ask….i certainly wouldnt bitch if they were perkier…hmmm….lol….yeah its sad…anymore it is more of a joke when she tries to act like that to me….because she is so pathetic that no one in her family besides SIL can stand her….Father-In-Law wont divorce her because he dosent want to deal with that headache…but yeah its redikulous…and in a few months or when ever i get pregnant she will want to be the “supportive” “dotting” grandma who supported us the whole time….i just roll my eyes….and laugh and encourage Darling Husband to make his own decision about the situation with her….its more annoying then hurtful at this point…

    Post # 22
    Member
    4698 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Soonerbee07:  Ugh, so frustrating. My ILs are kind of the same.. My Mother-In-Law is very negative and doesn’t listen to a single thing she doesn’t want to hear. She has a victim mentality and is always whining about something, we just keep our distance and don’t take anything personally. Whereas my SIL picks sides and acts as her mothers mouth piece. Its so hard to deal with but we also just laugh it off. What else can you do? Change an adult woman who is set in her ways?…. Ya ok.. Not happening.

    My Mother-In-Law is overall pretty harmless but she has her moments and boy.. They’re frustrating.

    Post # 23
    Member
    1780 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    KC-2722:  I know how that goes….some women just love that victim mentality and of course nothing anyone will every go throuh could possibly be worse then what they have been through….its sad….but just roll your eyes, laugh at thier despiration to be the center of attention and keep on moving and take notes of how not to be…

    Post # 24
    Member
    4698 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Soonerbee07:  EXACTLY! We joke all the time that we’re going to write a book entitled “How Not to Behave as a Grown Woman”.

    Post # 25
    Member
    1780 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    KC-2722:  LOL! someone needs to and publish that bad boy asap!

     

    Post # 26
    Member
    250 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    Mine ingores me. In fact when I got engaged she was soo silent we thought the call drop. She never liked me and made it clear that won’t change.  

    She says i worship the devil because I wont go to church with her and because I do not eat pork…

     

    So now she is barely a part of my fiancé life and they were super close… 

     

    Post # 27
    Member
    3277 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Moorea12:  

    When my Mother-In-Law saw my engagement ring, she asked my husband: “Where did you get the money for that?!” She also put on her ring set once she heard people complimenting mine. 

    countingstars:  

    Limit your contact with your Mother-In-Law. I know you have to see her but you can minimize any interaction you have with her. 

    I’m just glad my Mother-In-Law lives very far away and we only see her once every few years or so. Of course, this also means that the visits are longer. 

    Post # 28
    Member
    3277 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I think that MILs often feel upstaged once their sons marry. They are used to being the main woman in their son’s lives and it is painful to be demoted, so they lash out at their DILs to soothe their hurt feelings. This is completely wrong and messed up, but I honestly believe this is the case most of the time.

    My husband’s aunt told me that my Mother-In-Law didn’t want to let go of her boys because they were her whole life. This doesn’t excuse her racist comments and intrusive behavior, but at least it gives me another perspective. 

    I know my mother has a hard time stepping down with my eldest bro and that is part of the reason he is unhappily single and childless. More than one woman has said he is a mama’s boy and they don’t want to deal with my mother forever. 

    Post # 29
    Member
    980 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    countingstars:  

    My Mother-In-Law is usually great, but she’s getting on my nerve now that I’m pregnant. It all started with baby names every name I say she twists her face and says urgh do you want the kid to get bullied… Just because she has no imagination and gave her kids boring names. Luckily my husband is there when it happens so he knows it’s not just me being touchy….. Oh and last week we said we were thinking of Hendrix for a boy coz my hubby loves his music.. Her reply “well I will be calling him henry I am not calling no grandchild of mine Hendrix” my Hubby had a go at her for that though bless him.

    Post # 30
    Member
    876 posts
    Busy bee

    Oy. We haven’t spoken since February. These events all happened within the span of a month.

    1. She had a bone to pick with me about something. Fiance called her to say please just let it sit until after our Engagement Party because it was supposed to be a special time. She said that she would, and while we were looking at rehersal dinner venues, she brings it up to my mother. She completely bypasses me, treats me like a child by telling my mom about it (I’m 26 and have lived on my own since 18), and does it during an experience that I’ll never get back.

    2. I had kind of a down year last year. I hated my job due to an emotionally abusive boss and was trying desperately to do anything to get out of it. She went around me again and told my mom that in her expert opinion, I was clinically depressed and needed to be put on meds. My mom was like, uh, no, she just hates her job.

    3. When we were selecting the wedding party, we had a huge throwdown with Future In-Laws. I believe that family is who shows up for you when you need it, and that does not necessarily mean blood relatives. Future In-Laws believe that blood means more than anything, so it doesn’t matter that none of his siblings have spoken to him in years unless they were physically in the same location for three days — they should totally be in the bridal party. He wanted to choose his best friend as his best man and they. were. livid. They accused him of hating the family, accused me of keeping his family out of the wedding party so I looked closer to my family (don’t need a conspiracy for that to happen).

    Then they said that if we were having a small wedding where we didn’t invite any of there family, we could choose whoever we wanted. Which means to them it only has to look like they’re a close family to FI’s extended family, that’s the whole reason for this week-long throwdown. After a week of screaming on the phone, Fiance broke down and said he’d ask his brother. The next day, Future Mother-In-Law sent him a check — essentially paying him for doing so. Who. does. that.

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