(Closed) RANT: Baby Making is an Unfair Process!

posted 7 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

We have alot of sad abuse and child protective services stories in my area and sometimes they say that its messed up that you need a licence to drive a car or own a pet, but one can freely have as many kids as they want, even if you cant manage them emotionally,physically and financially. Some people think of it as privelege and that it should be regulated.

At the end of the day, its best to just leave things as they are to protect everyones rights, but I understand where your comming from!

Post # 4
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

It really is unfair :(. My sister lost her baby and a girl my best friend knows carried hers to full term even though she was smoking pot and she was around cigarette smoke and just generally didn’t try to watch out for the baby’s health. It’s just really sad :(.

Post # 5
Member
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Trust me, as someone who struggled TTC and have been told its unlikely I will have children of my own; this is beyond frustrating. 

Post # 6
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Amen. I had a similar experience…and I am one of those women. I could barely contain myself, but I decided to be the adult that I am.

It’s frustrating, it really is. Especially when that girl is acting as if she has no role in using protection. Wtf.

Post # 7
Member
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

We had a girl like this come into our home for women… 16 & was actually “made” to on terms of her probation. She had alot of the same attitude…. if nothing else was atleast very indifferent about having a baby.

Come to find though she came from quite a bit of abuse and spent most of her time on the streets… ran away more than once & when she went to live with a friend of hers whose mom let this girls bf stay over she got pregnant.

It is really frustrating, but sadly I’ve seen adult women with no excuse act like this when it came to getting pregnant “unexpectantly”

I guess my thought is just try and think about WHY she’s like that and realize that we’re lucky (even when we struggle to make that family) to have the support that we need & have. =/

I’m sure one day (hopefully) she’ll look back and realize how wrong her way of thinking was…. hopefully (if she can get a change of heart)

Post # 8
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I know it is frustrating. I have been TTC and recently had a miscarriage. The thing is, I was a teen mom too. I am sure there were plenty of people who thought I had no business becoming a parent, looking back I probably agree. But you know what I turned out to be a great mom with a really amazing daughter. She pushed me to want more for her and my life. Hopefully that girl, who is probably really scared, and brushed it off about her “stupid boyfriend”, and might not know better then to smoke will turn out to be a great mom. It is definately not anyones place to determine who is fit or worthy of becoming a parent.

My recent path has been really hard, but there are definate times when I need to really stay focused on my life or you can easily get consumed by negativity. I really hope my post doesn’t hurt anyone because that is not my intention, but I was that teen that people thought didn’t deserve to be a mom.

Post # 9
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

I feel for the unborn child.  Heaven help her/him!

Post # 11
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

One of the girls at my high school has a baby (16 then 17 now).  She took two ectasy pills the other day after getting in a fight with her mom. Awesome. Her family is totally messed up (and her mom takes care of the baby) but I definitely get frustrated.

Post # 12
Member
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

@MissMusic: I’m glad my reply didn’t come off as un sympathetic to you.. b/c I DO think it’s frustrating to see the kinds of things you saw today.

It just reminds me of how messed up our world really is…. Those wanting & trying without “success” and then others who are incredibly broken & can barely take care of themselve who do now “get” a child but can’t appreciate it b/c they’re so jacked up.

Stinks all the way around =/

Post # 14
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think women are most fertile in our teen years and that combined with their inexperience with birth control makes them more likely to have unexpected pregnancies. I’ve always thought it is an odd system that we are most fertile at the time when we are less capable of raising a baby.

Post # 15
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I just want to say that I am truly frustrated. It’s 2:25am and all I can think about is TTC but being reminded that I have to wait 2 months after my laproscopy and hystroscopy. Seeing people that instill rude bossy behaviour into their kids really irks me.

Post # 16
Member
2863 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Sometimes you just have to release the hurt to the universe and not think of it. That is what I constantly tell myself: I will not worry about things I can’t change or control. It sounds cheesy, but it actually works. I still have angry thoughts sometimes, but it really is so freeing once I stopped focusing on what I couldn’t have/can’t do easily. If I got angry over every pregnant teenager I would be one angry broad, haha. (( hugs ))

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