Post # 1
I need to complain!
I just got back from getting food at subway and I overheard a pregnant teenager (I would assume based on how old she looked and the kids she was hanging out with). She was complaining that her “dumbass boyfriend didn’t use protection and now they have this stupid ass baby to figure out how to take care of.” She was going on and on about how stupid her boyfriend was for “knocking her up” and I was getting pretty upset thinking of all of us on this message boards struggling to conceive. Then, as we were leaving, she was outside the restaurant SMOKING! I was so mad my husband had to like drag me to the car before I yelled at her. It just isn’t fair that people who don’t want/can’t take care of babies have them by accident when all of you lovely women with careers, loving homes, and stability are struggling. It makes me sad. 🙁
I swear everyone should be sterilized at birth and then you should have to apply to get “unsterilized” when you beleive you are stable and ready for a baby. That would solve a lot of problems.
Post # 3
We have alot of sad abuse and child protective services stories in my area and sometimes they say that its messed up that you need a licence to drive a car or own a pet, but one can freely have as many kids as they want, even if you cant manage them emotionally,physically and financially. Some people think of it as privelege and that it should be regulated.
At the end of the day, its best to just leave things as they are to protect everyones rights, but I understand where your comming from!
Post # 4
It really is unfair :(. My sister lost her baby and a girl my best friend knows carried hers to full term even though she was smoking pot and she was around cigarette smoke and just generally didn’t try to watch out for the baby’s health. It’s just really sad :(.
Post # 5
Trust me, as someone who struggled TTC and have been told its unlikely I will have children of my own; this is beyond frustrating.
Post # 6
Amen. I had a similar experience…and I am one of those women. I could barely contain myself, but I decided to be the adult that I am.
It’s frustrating, it really is. Especially when that girl is acting as if she has no role in using protection. Wtf.
Post # 7
We had a girl like this come into our home for women… 16 & was actually “made” to on terms of her probation. She had alot of the same attitude…. if nothing else was atleast very indifferent about having a baby.
Come to find though she came from quite a bit of abuse and spent most of her time on the streets… ran away more than once & when she went to live with a friend of hers whose mom let this girls bf stay over she got pregnant.
It is really frustrating, but sadly I’ve seen adult women with no excuse act like this when it came to getting pregnant “unexpectantly”
I guess my thought is just try and think about WHY she’s like that and realize that we’re lucky (even when we struggle to make that family) to have the support that we need & have. =/
I’m sure one day (hopefully) she’ll look back and realize how wrong her way of thinking was…. hopefully (if she can get a change of heart)
Post # 8
I know it is frustrating. I have been TTC and recently had a miscarriage. The thing is, I was a teen mom too. I am sure there were plenty of people who thought I had no business becoming a parent, looking back I probably agree. But you know what I turned out to be a great mom with a really amazing daughter. She pushed me to want more for her and my life. Hopefully that girl, who is probably really scared, and brushed it off about her “stupid boyfriend”, and might not know better then to smoke will turn out to be a great mom. It is definately not anyones place to determine who is fit or worthy of becoming a parent.
My recent path has been really hard, but there are definate times when I need to really stay focused on my life or you can easily get consumed by negativity. I really hope my post doesn’t hurt anyone because that is not my intention, but I was that teen that people thought didn’t deserve to be a mom.
Post # 9
I feel for the unborn child. Heaven help her/him!
Post # 10
@runsyellowlites: @ieatunicorns: Thanks for the responses. I completely agree that I am sure I do not know the whole story behind this girl’s life. I was just so frustrated in the moment. I just wish that everyone who is able to have a child is able to appreciate that gift. It is so sad that so many children go with out parents who love and appreciate them. I am glad that you were a great mom MrsMeNow! I am sure many unexpected pregnancies for underprepared women do turn out very well. It is just difficult to hear/see when you know so many women who would never speak about their prenancies that way. It is just one of those things about life that makes me sad
Post # 11
One of the girls at my high school has a baby (16 then 17 now). She took two ectasy pills the other day after getting in a fight with her mom. Awesome. Her family is totally messed up (and her mom takes care of the baby) but I definitely get frustrated.
Post # 12
@MissMusic: I’m glad my reply didn’t come off as un sympathetic to you.. b/c I DO think it’s frustrating to see the kinds of things you saw today.
It just reminds me of how messed up our world really is…. Those wanting & trying without “success” and then others who are incredibly broken & can barely take care of themselve who do now “get” a child but can’t appreciate it b/c they’re so jacked up.
Stinks all the way around =/
Post # 13
Post # 14
I think women are most fertile in our teen years and that combined with their inexperience with birth control makes them more likely to have unexpected pregnancies. I’ve always thought it is an odd system that we are most fertile at the time when we are less capable of raising a baby.
Post # 15
I just want to say that I am truly frustrated. It’s 2:25am and all I can think about is TTC but being reminded that I have to wait 2 months after my laproscopy and hystroscopy. Seeing people that instill rude bossy behaviour into their kids really irks me.
Post # 16
Sometimes you just have to release the hurt to the universe and not think of it. That is what I constantly tell myself: I will not worry about things I can’t change or control. It sounds cheesy, but it actually works. I still have angry thoughts sometimes, but it really is so freeing once I stopped focusing on what I couldn’t have/can’t do easily. If I got angry over every pregnant teenager I would be one angry broad, haha. (( hugs ))