- 4 years ago
I did post earlier about my break up that happened around 3 weeks back. I want to give you an idea on how things were going so that you could give me some real quality advice. Please do advice me I need it!
Been together for 5 years since we were 19. had around 2.5 years years of LDR and were in the same city for the past 2 years. Met on weekends.
My usual question- “We are gonna get married right? you will be able to convince your parents?
He- “Yes we will. But I cant assure you all the time you need to trust me. I swear I will marry you”
Me- “When do you plan to tell your parents about me?”
He- “The moment I get a better job, I will tell them 2-3 months after that”
Interesting thing to note here is that I by then had already told my mom about him and he had met half my maternal side. All I wanted him to do was to tell his family that he has found a girl.
One fine day suddenly:
He (after visitng some of his relatives)- “I really love you. I want to marry you and I have never been more sure about it”
Me-“Alright…but is everything ok?”
He-“Yes. But I will marry you come what may”
After a couple of days:
He-” If I get a high paying job we will get married in a year or so and stay happily”
We celebrated our 5 year anniversary. We had decided to make the gifts. I make him a comic book with us as characters. He made me a photo montage and a hand made ring.
But somewhere, deep inside, I dont know why, there was this insecurity eating me up. I asked him several times if he is hiding anything from me. He said no. I particularly had a problem with one of his lady friends. I asked him to atleast keep me in the loop when he talks to her.
Another interesting point to note: He did not tell about me to a lot of people. Even the roommates he stayed with for 2 years did not know about me. He said he does not trust everybody enough to tell them. When the time is right he will tell his folks. Telling anybody else does not matter as much.
Jump to Friday, 22nd Nov 2013.
He gets free from work really late, at 3:00 am.
He- “Baby I plan to sleep till late tomorrow. Dont go mad calling me.”
Next day (Saturday), I wait till 1 pm, 2pm, 3pm…then finally start calling. He did not answer till it was 5 pm.
Me- “My roommate wont be there tonight, you can come over”
He makes some excuses but finally decides to come at Saturday night, around 11:30 pm.
Some instinct made me tell him that if you are planning to hurt me in any way emotinally, I wont be able to take it.
He assured me nothing was wrong, hugged me, made me dinner, we had some fun and then slept.
Sunday Morning, 24th Nov
I get a fb msg from our mutual friend that she saw him in another city on Saturday afternoon with a girl.
I asked him, he kept denying it shamelessly. After half an hour, he confessed meeting her. And it wasnt the first time.
He cried…a lot…asked me to not to be with him becasue HE DID NOT WANT TO HURT ME ANYMORE (I mean…seriously)
Me- “Do you like her”
He- “I dunno. I think so”
Me-” Do you like me?”
He- “I love you”
Again he- “I dont know anything. Whether I like you or I like her or whether I even wanna get married”
He left for his place and called me 3-4 times for the next two days.
Me-“Are you calling me to make sure if I am ok?”
He-“No. I wanted to hear your voice”
Me-” Do you plan to pursue this other girl?”
He-“Yes. Maybe. I dont know. I might end up doing the same thing with her. i am a fundamental cheat. I dont think when will I be normal again. But you please dont have any hopes. If I come back to my senses I will come to you”
This went on for a week.
4th Dec. His Birthday. I called at 12. Wished him happy birthday. He sounded Happy. Later that night I called him:
Me-” So did you make up your mind?”
He-” Yes, I told you right….nothing can happen between us”
I was furious. I called him again 2 days later (moment of weakness)
Me- “You said nothing could happen between us”
He, curtly- “No…not at all. ZERO”
That has been the last day we spoke. 8th dec was my birthday. he did not call. He pinged me on whatsapp right on time, 12 am. But no calls whatsoever. I have gone NC since then. But I think he should want to atleast get in touch. Its been a week and no peep for him. He is the one who screwed up, letting go a girl who was more than perfect for him.
There could be 2 reasons:
1. Either he was never so much into me and was finally relieved to get out of the relationship.
2. Even he is using NC to get over me.
Honestly, I am not sure whether he would pursue this girl or not. They were classmates during MBA but even she had a BF. Maybe her presense is just giving him a feeling of “Grass is greener on the other side”
Probably he just wanted to make sure that I am going ok and have not got devasted so that there is no blood on his hands.
Bees, I know this is a very very long post but this only shows how badly I need someone to decode the entire situation for me.