*RANT* Can we please talk about anything else?

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
4254 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Honestly just say “wedding planning is fine” and ask them about their own life.  People like talking about themselves, so turn it on them.  I think people mean well but when it gets personal like that (“are you off birth control?”), it crosses a line.  Just change the subject and move on.  You don’t have to answer every question.  Or say something liike you are uncomfortable with answering that question.

Post # 3
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee

The worst part of planning has been the fact that EVERYONE feels entitled to have an opinion about what my wedding should look like.  It’s so frustrating!  I constantly feel like I have to justify my choices.  I try to end these conversations as soon as they start.  Our wedding is less than two months away and people keep asking me if I’m excited–it’s so hard not to say, “Yeah, excited for all of this to be over!”

Post # 4
Member
4878 posts
Honey bee

I got the, “what religion will the kids be? ” my reply was what kids? I’m not pregnant. Lol. I got the church wedding question more than once. 

Post # 5
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Holy shit. I am a person who likes to keep most things to myself, and these questions are ridiculous. I can see someone asking about location and times, maybe where you are going on a honeymoon. The rest is completely off limits and rude, as is drilling into details. How much things cost, asking you about birth control…from co-workers? I don’t even ask people where they are going on vacation, I tell them to have fun. Your co-workers are ridiculously out of line and you need to shut that down. The only thing people do with that kind of information is use it to talk to others behind your back. 

Post # 7
Member
47193 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

People can’t win. If they don’t ask about the wedding, we get a thread from a Bee that says nobody cares about her wedding.

I do however, agree that many of those questions are invasive and rude. Sometimes the best response is another question-“Why would you ask that?”

Post # 9
Member
4468 posts
Honey bee

Learn to change the subject.  Why do you keep indulging them?

“Thanks for asking. Planning is going well but truthfully I’m just wedding’d out and am grateful for work to give me a break.”

“It’s good.  Thanks for asking. Hey, did anyone watch *insert show* last night?”  

“Oh wedding plans are coming but really I’m more stressed about what to do for dinner?  Do you have any fast and easy ideas?  I’m getting sick of the same old burgers and chicken. “

And if all else fails just be brutally honest.  “You know,  I’m not really comfortable with wedding talk at work.”  Walk away if you have to.  

If you really want to talk about something else then show them you are a multifaceted person with varied interests, change the subject,  and talk about something else. 

Post # 10
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee

julies1949 :  That’s the great thing about wedding bee, though.  No matter how you feel about something, chances are someone feels the same way and will commiserate with you.  Or everyone will tell you when you’re being ridiculous.

Post # 11
Member
2701 posts
Sugar bee

Yeah, don’t listen to that birth control advice. My daughter has been on birth control pills for ten years. Her wedding date was Oct 2018 so she stopped it in order that she could conceive shortly after marriage. She was pregnant in 3-4 weeks. We had to move the wedding by a year and have in Oct 2017 which gave us only two months to plan. (Wedding was gorgeous btw and all went beautifully and of course the baby is an amazing little bundle of awesomeness). As for the co-workers, just stop answering questions! Tell them you’re suffering from planning burnout and cannot even talk about it anymore. They’ll chill out. 

Post # 13
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

mrss2b2017 :  people just LOVE having opinions (and asking questions is like a segue into them getting to state their opinion). I’m 32 and just got married, and I wouldn’t have it any other way… we have gotten the kids question from a few people, but I just kind of deflect the questions. I’m a teacher so don’t get much adult interaction at work and it made it easy to avoid those types of questions (the most common questions seemed to be about my dress, so I just responded with ‘only my mum sees my dress before the wedding day’), but in our social groups we are the last to have kids. Which is fine, and I feel like friends can get away with these questions (not about birth control though! we’ve only had ‘so when are you thinking of having kids’ type qu’s). Colleagues, not so much.

So yeah, vent away! I got all my planning done online, and it was so much nicer than asking people’s opinions… and I think it all worked out in the end?

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