(Closed) RANT: Dress sizes, losing weight and momma drama

posted 7 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Always order to your largest measurement. Every designer has a half inch tolerance as far as how the dress could fit. There’s lots of things that could be different with your dress from the six sample- it could have stretched slightly as well. 


You can always take a dress in but you can’t let it out!!! 

Post # 5
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Your mum sounds quite a piece, and interested more in outward appearances than making you happy. My mum, her sisters and her mother are exactly the same. Even down to the weight issue and always telling me im fat when im not. So I know a bit how you feel.


For the venue, does she know what style youre looking for? Then take her to the top 2-3 non-golf club venues you find and let them sway her themselves. If she sticks to her golf clubs, tell her nicely you want what you want and although grateful for her offer to pay, would prefer to pay yourself for what you want. To that she’ll probably say youre ungrateful, but feel free to remind her the day is yours not hers. 


For the dress, does she really have to know what size you ordered? Cant you just saythey took my measurements and got the dress which fit the best? The new dress will probably fit very different to the sample, so better to be safe than sorry. Better to be comfortable on your wedding day than unable to breathe.So just go with whatever fits,  even Iif at alterations they need to do more than expected, then you can say ‘looks like I did lose a bit of weight!’. 


Finally, I dont think you need tonlose any weight at all, you look georgous in that dress! 


Post # 6
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Order the dress that fits you, don’t order based on losing weight you don’t even need to lose. Chances are you’ll need alterations anyway, and a wedding dress that is too small is not something you want to be stressing about on top of everything else.

Post # 7
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Order the 8. It can always be taken in a bit, even with the lace. It would be much harder and more expensive to try and let it out if it ends up being too small.

And you have a great body the way it is, you definitely don’t need to lose weight. Plus there’s no guarantee that you’ll lose it only in your lower half. I have a similar body type to you and regardless of my weight my bust measurement is always a size smaller than my hips and waist. I had to order my dress in a 12 to fit my hips, and my bust measures a 10. I actually decided not to alter the bust. I’m going to get some of those chicken cutlet things to push up my boobs so they fill out the top. I did the same thing with my grad dress and it worked perfectly. 

Post # 9
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
@copperbird90:  They are silicone things that just go in my bra. I think you could also use them if you have cups sewn in, but I don’t feel secure without a bra. Something like these were what I had and I will be getting something similar again. I think I found them in the lingere section at Sears.


Post # 10
245 posts
Helper bee

@copperbird90:  I kept scrutinizing the pic for evidence of flap arms or pesky belly fat rolls….. couldn’t see signs of either.


That dress will look gorgeous on you when all’s said and done- it already looks amazing as is!

I say get the size 8 and get it made smaller as need arises- brides in dresses that are too small make for sad pictures.

Go ahead and book the venue you want. Mom had her wedding, this one is yours.

Post # 11
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

your mom sounds like my mom when it comes to weight.


I’m 30, have a 2 yr old daughter and honestly, my body just wont go back to the way it was. She is still fixated on my back when i was 18yrs old  115lbs body frame.




I am absolutely dreading the day of my wedding when we’re getting ready. She will bitch and moan about how i didn’t lose enough weight, how i look like a beluga whale, make snarky comments about my choice in hair and make up. I might choke her on the day of my wedding. who knows.


Post # 12
12 posts
  • Wedding: November 2014

Can’t be busting any serious dance moves with an uncomfortable dress – size 8 for the win! 

As for the venue, is it possible to approach it a different way with her? Use the technique of principled negotiation. It may help you escape the personality conflicts (which are just upsetting and not something you want to focus your time and emotion on) and to develop a set of agreeable criteria to assess venues. 

Can you sit down with her and talk through what you each believe are the core features of the venue, you might then find some common ground or be able to develop some objective criteria to judge the venues. You will probably have some principles about the venue that are fixed ‘i.e. no yucky interiors’ and others that are more flexible and open to negotiation and so will she. Finding some common ground on principles you both understand will hopefully make venue shopping easier. 

Good luck



Post # 13
2521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Order the largest measurement!  Chances are the sample was stretched out anyways.  I’m normally a size 6.  The sample was a size 12 and absolutely humungeous on me!!  I was between a 10 and 12 measurement for the hips, so I lost a few pounds and ordered the 10.   It came in, and I’m a little worried about it fitting!!  I’m going to have to lost probably 5 pounds so it doesn’t look too tight (and my dress can’t be altered out).  It is definitely doable between now and my July wedding, but honestly I really didn’t need the added stress and pressure.  You can always alter it down if needed. 

My mom is the same way- she is used to me being super tiny and thin.  I’m not overweight, but I definitely have hips and have to work to keep up a figure.  You look beautiful and once it is altered to fit no one will be thinking about the number on the tag!!

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