- 4 years ago
- Wedding: November 2014
Not sure where to post this, as it’s a bit of “emotional”, “dress” and “fitness”.
I’m getting a little fed up with my Mum. FI and I got engaged 2 months ago. My parents have kindly offered to pay for our venue and my dress (although I paid the dress deposit myself…). For the past couple of weeks he has been sending me emails, messages or calling me almost every day regarding different venues. She seems fixated on golf clubs (I can understand because they have nice manicured lawns and things, but the indoor spaces are just ‘blah’). We visited two venues over the weekend (just FI and I) (not golf clubs) and really liked the second venue. I then felt that I had to justify our preferences to her, while she is always comparing the cost and what is included in the packages without necessarily considering the whole look and feel of the place.
She’s quite a frugal person, even though they can easily afford the cost of a venue, and we definitely appreciate them helping out with the cost of the wedding (we were happily prepared to pay for it ourselves). We’re hoping she’ll back off a bit after we all can decide on a venue.
(Most of the rant over now, sorry).
Yesterday however, I had a dress appointment so they could take my measurements. I went alone, and Mum called me afterwards so I could update her. Basically the dress lady said that my measurements were a size 6 on the bust and a size 8 on the hips and stomach. The sample dress I tried on was a size 6; it wasn’t too bad but was tight across those areas so that I could not take a deep breath or sit down comfortably, and was still a bit loose at the top. When I was talking to my Mum she was shocked and almost angry, because she thought that the bust fit fine when she came dress shopping with me before (i.e. she wouldn’t have to pay for alterations at the bust). She said “Can’t you just lose a kilogram and order the size 6?” I had to tell her about 5 times that even if I ordered a size 6, I’d need to have the bust area taken in. Previously she was also concerned about the dress bunching across my hips, and I told her that the reason is probably because it’s a little tight. So if I ordered the 8, the bunching might be less.
Whenever the topic of weight comes up, she always says “oh I was 48kg when I was 20” (we are both quite short, so that’s a slightly underweight BMI). I weighed 48kg when I was in high school and did a lot of dance, but now that I’m working and sit at a desk all day, I’m about 56kg. That’s healthy. I’m not fat. I don’t NEED to lose weight, although getting rid of some stomach rolls would be nice. At my very first dress appointment, she also made a comment about me needing to do “arm exercises” to get rid of arm flab, which I ignored.
Anyway, here’s a photo of me in the size 6 sample (sorry for the massive photo). My mother’s comments made me second-guess ordering a size 8. What do you bees think? Should I leave it as a size 8, or change the order to a size 6 and try to lose a few kg? I know it can always be taken in at the hips if the 8 is too big, but it would be quite costly because of all the lace.