(Closed) RANT!!! How selfish is this?!

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Holy. Crap. Hope she kept the receipts.

Post # 33
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

WHOA.  I’m sorry that I didn’t read the entire thread, so maybe someone said this already – but are you feeling forced to compromise?  Maybe you could wear her dress during the ceremony and your choice during the reception (or vise versa?).  Or if it’s informal, wear her dress to rehearsal dinner?

Either way, you are NOT over reacting.  I’m an only child too and have the “just trying to make my parents happy” default attitude, so maybe these suggestions help.  

Yikes though, I’m sorry you’re having such an unhappy planning experience!

 

 

Post # 34
Member
5867 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think this literally takes the award as the most insane think I’ve ever seen on this board.  No you are not over reacting.  And honestly I’m guessing that your mom has some serious control and ego problems.

Actually, the only thing that I can think of that’s similar to this (almost the same as this) is My Big Fat Greek Wedding.  Remember how the character’s family get the invites, the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, her wedding dress, and everything else without even consulting her?  And she wasn’t even overseas!

But then again…that was just a movie…

Maybe it’s a cultural thing?  I’m trying to find a silvery lining here…

Post # 35
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Wow your mom is really way too excited. I totally understand how you feel & you have the right to be upset, but just take a step back and try to remember she wouldn’t be this excited if she didn’t love you so much.

If you haven’t already, maybe talk to your dad to see how you can make her take things back without hurting her feelings? Let her know you love her & appreciate what she’s done, but you need to make these decisions on your own because it is your big day.

Post # 36
Member
10846 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

My jaw is on the floor. That’s just……………….. I don’t have the words. There’s a boundary between excited and…… that. Sooooo over the line. It sounds more controlling than anything else.

Mom’s are excited, I get that. But what about waiting for you to get home so you guys could do these fun and exciting things together?! I would love for my mom to be more involved, but if she ever pulled that kind of stunt, heck ya everything would be heading back to the store! Talking to your dad is an excellent suggestion. If it were me it would be really difficult to be diplomatic in a situation like that, so kudos to you.

I hope it all turns out well for you guys. It’s going to be tough few days, but you need to set some boundaries with your mom and establish some rules. I had to do that with Future Mother-In-Law when she suggested we go dress shopping before I was even engaged.

Post # 37
Member
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I completely understand why you’re upset.  I would be too.  But in your mother’s defense, I’m curious.  How involved was she in her own wedding planning?  Before I started my planning, my mom told me that since she planned her wedding long distance, her mother planned the entire thing expect for the dress.  I don’t know if that was normal for their generation, but maybe that was normal then and that’s just what she thought you would want. 

I say, let her know that you apprieciate all the help, but you were really looking forward to going dress shopping with her and while you won’t eliminate the dress she chose yet, you want to see other options as well.

Post # 38
Member
1313 posts
Bumble bee

WOW.

I’m so sorry to hear about that. It’s one thing to help. a completely different thing to do what your mom did.

Good luck with everything, I hope all else goes well for you!

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