Post # 1
And wedding fever is entirely to blame!
I’ve been dating my SO for seven months, but we’ve been friends for a couple of years. He brought up marriage week two of our relationship in a playful way… We both know that we want to get married. He’s without a doubt my other half and I know he feels the same way.
My SO is in the middle of basic for the Marine Corps… He’s an officer candidate, which means next summer he’s going away for 6 weeks and the summer after for a year. He told me he wants me with him for the year-long session… Well, from casual conversation with an Army friend, I found that my SO and I have to be married in order for me to go live on base with him. I mentioned it to him and he said that I ruined the suprise!
At this point it’s all a big waiting game. He says he wants to wait to officially be engaged until he can support me, but I’ve never felt the need to rely on him for income and he knows that. When we go to the doctor together, look at apartments together, go out to eat… People assume we’re married although I am not wearing a ring. I gave him a promise ring on Valentine’s and he wears it every day. He says we’re “engaged to be engaged”.
Here’s the real kicker: Catholic weddings must be planned nine months in advance, we don’t know the EXACT date he’s leaving for his year-long session for the Marines, and I’m a big stress ball right now.
I guess, to sum it all up…
I can’t stop obsessing over weddings. I want to be engaged so I can start realistically planning! Is that silly of me?
Post # 3
It is so hard—-but this is what I did; tell your boyfriend exactly how you feel(just like you did here) and then let it GO. He obviously want to surprise you somehow. Let him do it!
Best of luck!
Post # 4
@Britk: If you are going to marry a Marine you better get used to planning your life around the unsure military schedule. There are a lot of things to consider here. Yes you cannot live on base with him unless you are his wife but because he will be an officer he can get BAH and live in off post housing with you. That means the military gives him money and he can find an apartment or house with that money. The military will shuffle you both all over and you’ll likely spend a lot more time away from each other than the typical couple.
I’m not saying this to be snarky, I’m saying this from experience. Once you find “the one” there is nothing but time. You’ll be together forever so there is no need to rush to get married. What I mean to say is, maybe you don’t need to rush the wedding simply to get it done before he leaves for the Marine Corps. Or maybe so you don’t feel so rushed or stressed you can start planning the smaller things or collecting the supplies for DIY projects now. If you KNOW you are getting married to him then it should be perfectly okay to start working on plans before he proposes. I just worry a little bit that you are going to be so stressed trying to push together plans as quickly as possible.
I spent 6 years in the Army and my SO was a Marine (long before we met) so I say this from the bottom of my heart: We cannot do our jobs without someone at home supporting us. You’ll hate life sometimes when he is away but stay strong because you supporting him at home is what keeps him going. Thank you for taking up the torch as a Military Spouse. It’s not easy, but I thank you for your sacrifice 🙂
Post # 5
@MrsJoyful80: Thanks for your advice! I talked to him about how stressed and pressed for time I’m feeling, and he just laughed and told me not to worry, and if I felt like he was dragging it out I should just propose to him myself! We got a kick out of it and some stress off of my chest (:
Post # 6
@Bunny: It’s wonderful to get a military perspective on this. My SO has always said that the military mind is just so different from that of a civilian’s. I know that it may sound silly, but I’ve never wanted anything more than to marry this man… Everything else seems so petty in comparison to giving your entire life to someone. I would wait forever for him if he asked me to. Thank you for reminding me of that. There is truly no need to rush when you’ve found the one, it’s just so hard holding back when it’s so close!
I’d like to thank you and your spouse for your service as well as for your wonderful advice. God bless (: