(Closed) Rant!! I'm so done with my sister in law!!

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Drury Lane Oakbrook

Just be there for him.  You can’t change the way she acts. 

Post # 3
Member
915 posts
Busy bee

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sarahramo:  Is he sure the kids are his?! I know it’s a horrible thing to think about, but he needs to get it figured out for custody reasons. 

Besides that, just be there for him and open your home to him so he can get away!

Post # 5
Member
915 posts
Busy bee

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sarahramo:  He needs to get paternity tests ASAP.  Also get a lawyer and see what he says. If the mother is showing unsafe behavior that could harm the kids he should be able to get custody. But he needs to get on the offense and start the battle. 

Post # 6
Member
278 posts
Helper bee

She sounds like such a Selfish heartless bitch if I were you I would give her a good hard slap she doesn’t deserve kids and what she did to your brother is disgustisg he deserves a far better wife than that shellfish piece of shit. Get social services on her and get them to take her kids away from her as she doesn’t deserve kids. More like she deserves a good kick up and are and she needs locked up. Seriously people like that really piss me off and I know how you feel hunni xo 

Post # 7
Member
41 posts
Newbee

Based on your post, it seems that you have a very close and trusting relationship with your brother. Here are are some actions that I would consider:

1. Encourage your brother to open his own bank account with a debit card (not credit) to limit his reliance upon cash and limit SIL access to his money.  

2. If (1) is not possible: ask your brother to direct his pay into your account. You can pay his bills. Not perfect, but seemingly better than the status quo

3. Document instances where your SIL does not act in the best interests of the children. That is usually the test for custody. whatever eventuates, your position is weakened by not doing this: you can always not follow through later if the relationship improves. 

4. Find someone who can advise you on how to help your brother structure the best possible bankruptcy arrangement. Often free advice (if you can’t afford a lawyer) comes through places like gambling support hotlines. What matters here is accessing the knowledge of someone who is an expert. 

5. If the divorce proceeds, or even a separation, your brother may find it difficult to lease new premises delending on his exact status as bankrupt (potential, actual or discharged). Better to prepare now for the options available should housing become an issues. 

i hope things improve for your brother. 

Post # 8
Member
1069 posts
Bumble bee

You can’t do much but be there for him. But advise him to get paternity tests on both children. Then you can only support him in ensuring he gets the lawful access to the children if they’re his. 

you sound like a wonderful caring sibling 

Post # 11
Member
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

First off, I’ve never seen anyone arrested over gas.  Usually they ask you to leave your wallet.

Second, he needs a lawyer.  Yes, I know he’s your brother but he’s effed up big time and needs to live up to it.  He can find care for his children.  Plenty of single mothers do.

Third, he needs to find some way to manage care for his kids.  He needs a plan and a real solution.  He needs to think ahead.

 

Fourth- Paternity test.

Post # 12
Member
17 posts
Newbee

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searock:  Good for you, for standing up to your brother. Just to warn you, be careful with these boards. Men’s families are rarely taken serious here. Help your brother emotionally and lawyer up.

Post # 13
Member
2366 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

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sarahramo:  it sounds like you’re doing a great job, I’m sorry for both of you, I hope everything works out. 

Post # 14
Member
10636 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

 

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rynm:  Men’s families not taken seriously here?! I think you are  quite mistaken. Have you  not seen   the number of threads in which OP’s  are trying  to placate/manage/accomodate/please  their IL’s ?

Post # 15
Member
877 posts
Busy bee

Because they were married at the time of birth he is the presumed father and won’t need to worry about paternity test for baby 2. Just fyi. but as always, you should only take legal advice from a lawyer. 

The topic ‘Rant!! I'm so done with my sister in law!!’ is closed to new replies.

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