Post # 1
For background: My long-time boyfriend just moved to another state for a job. He has a Masters degree, almost no student debt, and his job pays pretty darn well. I am staying back in our home state to finish up my degree and then will be moving out there when we get married. We determined years ago that we were going to get married someday, and that has never changed. Based on the conversations we have had, he would like to tie the knot in May/June of 2012.
This is all fine and perfectly reasonable in my opinion, but I have expressed quite clearly that I need at least a year to plan the kind of wedding we’ve discussed if I’m going to be working and going to school at the same time as planning, especially since he now lives several hundred miles away and I will be doing a lot of it by myself.
Fast Forward a little bit…
Recently I went to visit him at his new place for the first time…and what is in the living room? A GIANT ass flat screen LCD TV. The price I am ashamed to say was upwards of $1500. For a TV. Now, I know he’s worked incredibly, incredibly hard for his degree and finding a job in this climate was not easy. I’m all for rewarding myself for hard work…
But am I being unreasonable in feeling a little jealous of the TV? Because I am so jealous of the damn TV right now, because I feel like it replaced my engagement ring (which would be well under that price).
And now I’m going to be waiting at least another 2 months…unless of course he decides to get any more fancy electronics.
Post # 3
Ugh! I posted a rant a while ago about men and their stupid TVs!!
I actually went through this too before I was engaged and my man bought a $2500 56″ plasma TV. I was insanely mad and jealous too (although I didn’t say a word about it to him). When I’d ask him about getting engaged he’d always say stuff like “just be patient, it’s in the works” or “I’m working on it”. But then I’d think in my head “so you can afford to spend $2500++ in one day on a stupid TV when the one you had was just fine, but yet it takes you a MILLION years to save up enough money for a ring for me”. I felt hurt. Eventually he did propose, but it was about 1.5 years after he bought that TV. I just had to let it go and accept the fact that the TV made him happy, and maybe now that he bought it, he could focus on saving more for my ring.
Now we are arguing because we just bought a house and are in the middle of furnishing it. He still has his ridiculous TV and I have a very nice 36″ LCD (that he picked out and gave me a few hundred dollars to help buy when he decided I needed a new one). Now he wants a THIRD TV. I’m like really???? Two people in a 1200sq foot house do not need three freaking TVs. We don’t even have a dining room table or some other furniture for the house and he’s already wanting another TV.
So here is what I think we have to come to accept….we will never understand men and their deep love of TVs. Not all men are like this, but ours unfortunately are. Hang in there….you will get your ring. Like you said, I think he’s just “rewarding” himself for hard work and sacrifice and now that he’s content, he can save more for your ring.
Post # 4
I am so glad I’m not the only one! It was just so tough when he picked me up from the airport and said, “I have something to show you when we get back to my place,” and then that thing was the TV.
Post # 5
@miz fizzix: I feel your pain, most definitely! When my SO bought a flat screen for our place, I was super happy in one sense but super bummed in another. I’m ashamed to admit it, but literally all I could think about was how that money could’ve gone towards getting engaged/married.
Post # 6
I feel ya lady! I was replaced by a tv for awhile. A couple months later the tv lost its novelty and it looked like I regained my spot as #1. And then came the wii…LOL
Post # 7
I’ve also heard that a lot of guys tend to make a slightly bigger or more expensive purchase for themselves right before proposing… to get it out of their system so-to-speak. Whether it’s true or not, who knows. But I’ve heard it more than once, so that must say something!
Post # 8
You say that his job pays well and that he doesn’t have debt, so it’s possible that he is also able to save money for the ring even while buying the flat screen! I wouldn’t assume anything. He may have his own plan in mind..
Post # 9
My SO has been obsessing about buying a PS3… and I know engagement is not far off! I made a deal with him about the PS3 though… I told him I would buy it for him, if he bought me something just as expensive (implying the ring). Yesterday he put a deposit on the ring, and this morning he pointed out a deal for a PS3 in the Sunday paper. Honey, as soon as you slip that ring on my finger, the PS3 is yours. 🙂 It’s going to be his engagement present.
Post # 10
I was #2 to the TV as well not so long ago! It was a pretty big flat screen (I forget the size exactly) and they were running some sale, blah blah. Anyway it was like $15 a month or something stupid so I just complained for a little while and let it go because he said we would use it in OUR house someday. Not too long after, we went ring shopping! So maybe they do feel like they have to get something big for themselves first…
Post # 11
Same here. Bf bought a tv he didn’t need awhile ago. He had a perfectly good tv but no he needed a bigger one. I don’t get men sometimes =/
Post # 12
*hugs* I hope your ring is around the corner!