Post # 1
Last nights episode of Glee really struck a chord with me. If you’re not familiar with the story line, one of the characters recently came out that she’s a lesbian. She told her parents and they were very accepting but her grandmother was another story. When she came out to her, the grandmother was infuriated and told her that she never wanted to see her again. Her grandmother told her that it would have been better for everyone if she kept her secret and never shared it with anyone. I know it’s just a TV show but that mentality does exist in real life and it’s absolutely sickening. I have friends who lived “in the closet” for years because they knew that their loved ones wouldn’t accept their lifestyle. I saw first-hand what it was like to live a lie and pretend to be happy all of the time when you’re secretly broken up inside because you can’t be the person you were meant to be. What kind of loved one would want their child/grandchild/sibling/whatever to have to go through that? How selfish can you possibly be to prefer that this person continue to live in misery just so that you’re not uncomfortable? It’s pathetic.
I have multiple gay family members and my family couldn’t be more accepting. When my cousin came out, I was one of the first people he told. He was so worried about my uncles reaction but I knew that my uncle wouldn’t look at him any differently. To be honest, we all knew that my cousin was gay long before he made it official so it really wasn’t much of a shock to us. As expected, my aunt and uncle took the news like any supporting parents would. I think my aunt may have even thrown out a “well, duh!” when he told them, lol. My cousin is one of the lucky ones because he has a supportive family who will always love him regardless of who he chooses to be with. Unfortunately, for every supportive family there are probably 10 more out there that would disown their own blood just for being gay.
It’s so sad that there are such hate filled people in the world. Being gay is not a god damn disease, it’s a natural feeling that millions of people have and there’s nothing wrong with it. I can’t imagine going through what so many gay men and women have to deal with. Why should anyone question love? I pity the people who feel such distain for gays and lesbians (and all alternative lifestyles). They obviously live a very sheltered life.
Post # 3
I don’t watch Glee but I totally agree with you. Who is anyone to judge what someone else’s lifestyle is? I don’t understand why people care so much about something that doesnt affect them.
Post # 4
Totally agree with you @CaitMarae!
Post # 5
I totally saw the grandmother’s reaction coming and it still made me really sad that people really do react that way. Did you find it a little disturbing that the Glee club decided to make Santana come out that week and be totally ok with it? I just thought it was really inconsiderate to be like “Hey I sang you a song, now tell your entire family and be out and proud!”
Post # 6
I totally give props to Glee for this episode. At first I was perturbed because of the whole “I told my parents and they were totally fine with it!” comment and I thought it was just a sugarcoated cop-out on the writer’s part. I was like – This is not usually how it goes in real life! But the grandmother scene was way more realistic, and I’m glad they showed both reactions to really highlight how hard it is for someone to come out.
ETA: Did anyone else for a split second think that the grandmother was going to say that was her ‘secret’, too? I still wonder if maybe that’s an upcoming storyline with her – she got so angry because she had to hide it for her entire life as well, have a family, live a heterosexual lifestyle because she felt she “had” to live a lie. I dunno! I just got that feeling for a minute…
Post # 7
@LGenz: I think she was forced to come out b/c of the commericial, from one of that gurs running against Sue, that was already going to out her anyway. So I think they were trying to lessen the blow for her.
I thought the moment with her grandma was poignant but I think Ryan Murphy et al, actually sugar coated the whole experience a bit much, but I understand you can’t go too dark for television and it was important to keep it light. I mean there kids living in turmoil and not everyone is gonna have parents like Santana and Kurt or friends like Glee club members who will shelter them and make it ok.
As an aside, I commend Finn for standing by her. Santana’s pain is no excuse for her to treat people the way she does. I would have knocked her the eff out a long time ago, lol
Also, what the heck happened to Blaine? He is so corny now and his hair looks stupid. He was wayyyy more cool and sauve when he was at Dalton. It must have been the uniform.
Post # 8
@MrsMaine: OMG I totally thought the grandma was going to say it’s her secret too!!!
It is very sad that this is how a lot of people react to this situation.
Post # 9
@MrsMaine: I wondered that too! hmmm….
I was lucky in that when I came out no one was surprised. I’d been out to my Mom as bi for 8 years, so she wasn’t shocked, and she was SO supportive because she said she could hear how in love I was by the tone of my voice!
I was shy to tell my Dad because we have a rockier past. However, he was fine with it- although upset at the fact that I had thought he would have an issue with it. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t, hey?
My partner, on the other hand, had her familt totally turn their backs on her for two years. Dad asked for her house kay back, and although they didn’t cut off contact, they were stand-offish and uncomfortable around her for a long time. they never liked her previous partner, and were very vocal about that fact.
Luckily, by the time I came around, they were over it and their relationships were repaired, and I made a great first impression I guess because we all like each other. Of course, we live on opposite sides of the country so we don’t get to spend much time together anyway.
getting back to Glee, I thought it was a good episode, and raised some great issues. Even with Puck saying to Quinn that he felt bad how much attention and support Santana was getting to help her through this when Quinn didn’t get much help with the group when she was going through her pregnancy. It’s a weird, wacky show so anything goes. Now Rachel’s in real trouble for the first time, oh my!
Post # 10
I actually think that the Glee episode was amazing. It was real, and it was true. Santana told everyone how her parents were accepting, and that they were “okay with it all”. We all saw what happened with her Abeulta.
I think it was a real episode. The fact of the matter is that when you come out, there will be someone who doesn’t agree with it. That is just the world we live in – and Glee was putting out an accurate portrayal of that, in my opinion. This episode showed what it really is like coming out.
I would have been a lot more upset if they didn’t show this – talk to any gay person who has come out. Every single person I know (including myself…) has got a negative reaction/rejection from at least one family member or friend. Sucks, but it is a reality of coming out for most people.
Post # 11
I haven’t seen the episode yet (I watch everything on Hulu), but I’m not surprised about her grandmother’s reaction. The woman called Santana “garbage face” for years! And although she framed it as a joke for her and Finn’s little “face off,” you could tell that there was pain there.
Poor girl. I love her character.
Post # 12
@LGenz: They weren’t trying to make her come out, they were trying to show their support because it was coming out in a painfully public way. Seriously, if my former friends had sung a song to me instead of banishing me to Siberia, it would have made me a little happier.
@RayRayFurious: I also thought this was the woman who had tried to sell her–
My partner and I both have very different coming out stories. Her’s was one of acceptance and nurturing (having a gay dad will do that) and mine was public and mortifying–the silver lining being a mostly accepting family who after three years have now completely come around. True story–we were at my Mom’s house this weekend and she’s in the process of toy hunting for Christmas for our toddler niece. She was checking out and someone commented on the fact she bought two brides instead of a bride/groom and her reply was, “Don’t you know, every wedding has two brides.” LOVE HER!
Post # 13
just yesterday I heard a story about a woman who is in class with my partner, who decided it was time to come out to her Mom before the holidays, since she wants to bring her partner of two years (her Mother has been in denial that they are just really good friends..)
Basically her Mom told her that she’d be “dead in her grave before she ever accepted that lifestyle” and she has now “poisoned the family” by not keeping her perverted secret to herself. She was very hurt and angry, especially since her Mom is also saying it’s a terrible, evil thing to have her young 4 year old daughter exposed to.
And it’s 2011 and we live in the most liberal part of Canada! yikes.