Post # 1
after begging for a ring he finally put a down payment on the one I choose. after he told me he paid for it i fonally realized that I don’t reamy want a ring I just want him to love me and treat me like he used to, but getting a ring isn’t going to fix that. So we had a talk and he told me that he would fix our problems.
he was going to propose in December but with our issues unfixed I told him to wait until May. he has yet to fix the actual problem but is being a lot nicer but has sudden grouchy out burst. I’m not sure what I’m going to do if he proposes in December because I love him and want to Mary him but I know we should fix our issues first. I cant see them being fixEd in the next two weeks so……
i know I’m a spoiled brat who probably doesn’t deserve the nice ring he got me, but I think I was just fantasizing about the perfect marriage where the guy is always so lovey dovey and takes the wife out on dates and does romantic things, but that’s not what real marriage is like. It takes work and I need to know that we are both going to put in the effort.
Post # 2
Jadegreen: Whatever you do, don’t get married and think that will fix everything. Please consider finding someone who will treat you like gold, and then WANT to get you gold for your finger.
Post # 3
Just because marriage takes work, it doesn’t mean that there can be no romance. My husband and I have been together for nearly 8 years and married for 4 of those years. We still send loving texts every day, go out on dates and have a passionate connection. We have had our tough times but the love and romance is always there.
A ring is not a marriage. You shouldn’t have to “beg” for a ring if your boyfriend wants to marry you. I also find it worrying that you seem to be the only one who is interested in getting married.
Be aware that a ring is not going to fix underlying issues. This situation sounds very unhealthy and quite frankly, you are not ready to get married if you are focusing purely on the ring.
How can you be so sure that your issues will be “fixed” within two weeks or a few months? What are you doing to work through those issues? It takes two to make a relationship work. Problems are not just *poof* gone in an instant like magic.
Post # 4
amiona: “A ring is not a marriage. You shouldn’t have to “beg” for a ring if your boyfriend wants to marry you. I also find it worrying that you seem to be the only one who is interested in getting married.“
This. I would definitely try to work out your relationship before getting engaged and ESPECIALLY before getting married.
Post # 5
Jadegreen: You are by no means a selfish brat because you want a ring. Its normal to get a ring when getting engaged. Just make sure he is proposing for the right reasons. Hope everything works out well for you.
Post # 6
Jadegreen: Maybe you guys would benefit from relationship counselling. You don’t mention what his issues are but remember that broken relationships, outside of abuse and cheating, often have causes on both sides and require compromise in order to fix the problems.