Post # 16
I limit seeing mine to Christmas and Birthdays. She’s a nosy busy body and it really gets my back up. The straw that broke the camels back was 18 months ago, my moms side of the family got together to scatter my grandparents ashes. I hadn’t seen or spoke to my mom in 17 years. I had no desire to then either. However it was her parents so I wasn’t going to be disrespectful, I was just going to keep quiet and get on with it. Future Mother-In-Law knowing my family back ground because I have no problems talking about it, went behind my back and over a dinner with my fiancé that I couldn’t attend due to work, she insist he take that time while we’re scattering my grandparents ashes to speak to my mom and get to know her, because she wants to know what she’s like. I was furious that she expected my fiancé to go behind my back just because she’s nosy. She knows I don’t speak to my mom or even consider her family at this point. She was totally disrespectful and rude to talk about it’s behind my back then request my fiancé go behind my back all so she can get some gossip.
Post # 17
I understand you’re trying to be the nice DIL and include her, but your first attempt backfired. Do you want to go through the entire wedding planning process fighting her? I would guess not. Stop including her. When she asks about your plans, tell her they’re going well and change the subject. I promise you, this will lessen the stress for you. Do. Not. Include. Her. She will take over, as you’ve already seen.
Post # 18
I have like an opposite thing with my Future Mother-In-Law. She doesn’t even seem to care that we’re engaged. We’ve been engaged 7 months and she’s never asked a single question, not even if we have a date. At a grad party this summer she introduced my Fiance and two of his siblings to some lady and even though I’m sitting right next to her she doesn’t even introduce me at all as if I’m invisible. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg with his family…
Post # 19
None of FIs family will be attending because dogs are not allowed at our weddiing (via venue) but I according to FIs family didnt do enough to help them with finding a solution(even though I bent over backwards)and so I am soley to blame for them missing the wedding🙄.
Post # 20
newgreenbee : not going to share my stories. Although I have them, and ones that trump yours.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT tell her anything else about your wedding. She asks how planning is coming, you say fine. She asks where you chose to have it, say a wonderful place, it’s just beautiful.
She has lost her chance. You need to make sure you and FH are on the same page too because this is only going to get worse. I promise. Her behavior is NOT okay. This wedding is not about you or FH it is about her. Do not let her take your wedding from you and protect yourselves though whatever means.
Do not let this behavior continue.
Post # 21
zl27 : also this.
Let your FH deal with his in-laws.
Post # 22
My Mother-In-Law and my own mother both drive me crazy. We changed our wedding date 3 times for my Mother-In-Law and SIL because they kept complaining about the drive to our destination wedding (although it was closer to them at the destination than our hometown). First time it was because they had another wedding to attend 3 weeks later, the next date was too close to Thanksgiving (2 weeks before). The destination was also our honeymoon location, and my mother invited herself and my brother and his kids to stay with us. When I said no, it caused a huge fight. My Mother-In-Law and mother are way too much alike, they are both super nosey and controlling. We finally just decided to “elope” with just us and my kids and had an amazing, stress free wedding. They are probably still mad, but I don’t regret it at all!
Post # 23
I’m sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. The best thing to do would be to stop sharing anything with her. It will only get worse once you are married if she is like this now. My Mother-In-Law is the rudest, most intrusive, and most difficult person I have ever had the displeasure to know. She has a beef with everyone in her family and I mean EVERYONE! The drama never stops with her and it’s always someone else’s fault, never hers. I’ve been with my husband for a long time and at this point, I have stopped sharing anything with her and I keep my distance, even at family gatherings (which are always painful when she’s around). No one wants to tolerate her behavior and even my husband doesn’t want to be around her much but he always tells me that is his mom so he has to be there for her even though he knows what she is like. So like others have said, stop involving her. Then she will have no business getting involved in things that are none of her business.