- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
I have been leasing a Honda Civic for the last three years. The lease is up tomorrow. Yesterday, I had an appointment with the Honda dealership near my house to officially turn in the car. My new Subaru Forester is already sitting in the driveway at home, anxious to be of service.
Yesterday morning on my commute to work, I actually got a little emotional about turning in the car. We’ve been through a lot together, the little Ninja and me! Darling Husband and I had only been dating a few months when I got her, and she’s been the best little car ever. She has all these little quirks that pissed everyone else off (like no power locks, which irritated everyone on earth except me, the person who had to deal with it most often). On my way out of my office at the end of the day, I took one last picture of the car and then drove to the Honda dealership and made sure every last personal effect was out of the car.
And into the dealership I went, with all my documents from Honda … and down I sat with one of the managers to go through the process … and I handed over my keys and all my paperwork …
And about 45 minutes later (the whole process was supposed to take roughly 15 minutes), a different manager comes over and says “we can’t do this today. You’ll have to come back tomorrow.”
WHAT. THE F**K. “Why can’t you do it today?” I ask.
“We don’t have the people here to do it.”
“I made an appointment to do it today. There is no reason why you should be unable to do it.”
“Well, see, we don’t do many lease-returns here, and what returns we DO handle, we usually just buy the car outright since it’s easier for the customer and for us. But in your case, the car has been in an accident that makes it so that we can’t just buy it.”
And I snarl in anger because this is absolute bullshit. They’ve wasted 45 minutes of my time only to inform me that they cannot do the thing they are supposed to do, even though they knew they would have to do it, because they don’t know how to do it. That is so unacceptable. There is no excuse for a flippin Honda dealership to not know how to handle a Honda lease return.
So now I have to go back there again today. AWESOME, I HAD NOTHING ELSE THAT I WANTED TO DO AFTER WORK TODAY SO THAT’S EXTREMELY CONVENIENT FOR ME.
But I think even worse than all that is the fact that they totally ruined my sentimental goodbye with my car. Now I just want to take the Civic and practice drifting. I want to go over speedbumps at 45mph. F**k it, right? It’s not my car anymore; not my problem. I’m not sure if it’s possible to do J-turns with an automatic transmission, but there’s only one way to find out. (J-turns are when you are going really fast in reverse, like 80mph fast, and then put the car in neutral, pull the hand brake, whip a 180, and then slam it back in gear and start driving in the same direction and at the same speed but forwards instead of reverse. So awesome).
Once I get really good at J-turns, I’ll take the Civic down to the docks and see if I can’t ramp her onto a moving speedboat. Naturally, I’ll have to practice ramp-jumping a few times so that I know exactly how much distance I can cover at different speeds.
F*** you, Honda. I poop in your car. I poop in it.
Add any additional rants here, if you please 🙂