Post # 1
I’ll preface this with I am not a “budget bride”… I always knew that my parents would give us a pretty decent sum of money to do our wedding (think more than the “average” cost of a wedding) so up to now haven’t really had budget in my head. In fact, we still don’t have a number from the parents to work with, but I decided to add up all of my “wants” today… and got a number waaaay too high. I’m talking perhaps 3 times the national average… without the honeymoon, rings, gifts, things we (the couple) are paying for as opposed to the parents nor the rehearsal dinner or out of town bags that FI’s family will do.
Yes, I realize I am coming off extremely spoiled here and that this board is all about the budget brides, but I look at this number and wonder how even though we’re not planning on having extravagent center pieces or performers or any of that “over top” stuff you see on tv, we get to that number. No, we just want a good venue, good food, a good photographer, and a nice dress, plus all the other small odds and ends that come with weddings. Once we added everything up, its just too much and gives me heartburn. I think part of it is that we’re in a major metropolitan and everything is more expensive and we’d be hell bent to find a venue for a black tie wedding (which is what both we as the couple and the parents want) for much less, but regardless, I just feel defeated.
How did you go from day dreaming to the realities of your budget and cutting things? I just don’t get it when we haven’t even budgeted for extravegent “extras”
Post # 3
@google: I hear you! We are paying around $47k and, honestly, we are NOT doing anything elaborate. Just a basic wedding. It depends on the area of the country, mostly. Also, once they hear the word “wedding” they jack everything up. We’re paying around $170 per head for food and drink- sure it’s an open bar and 4 course filet mignon dinner but, honestly, you could go to a pretty swanky restaurant and pay less for that amount of food and alcohol. Weddings= inflated, ridiculous prices
Post # 4
OMG tell me again how it’s expensive to throw a one day affair? Wow, I had no idea. Until I started planning that is.
How did you go from day dreaming to the realities of your budget and cutting things?
Well, once I snapped out of my fantasy, it was pretty easy to face reality. I knew I did not want to spend too much on the wedding. As a budget bride with kids, I had to prioritize what was really important and what I could do without. Lots of research led me to vendors that would allow me to fulfill my dream and fit my budget. Alsao working on saving almost every single cent I make to put towards the wedding, meaning cutting back on a few extras, like expensive dinners out. I think the wedding of my dreams can be met (with a few compromises) on my budget but it takes work.
Post # 5
Ugh I hear you!! My fi and I both have good jobs and we are getting a lot of help from my family And when I started looking at venue and catering costs I cried! Several days in a row. I kept saying if we are ” abovenation national average in terms of what we can afford where the heck is everyone else getting married?!?! Our first, 2nd and 3rd choice venues would cost over 60k for just venue and basic buffet! Even now – after scaling waaaay back. Having a brunch ” off season” and only 1 Bridesmaid or Best Man and groomsman we are pushing at least 80k. And that’s not includin rings and are skipping a honeymoon bc we can’t afford it :-/. Very very stressful
Post # 6
@google: Write a list of his top 5 priorities and your top 5 priorities.
Ask your parents how much they’re willing to contribute.
THEN go find a venue, catering, rings, dress, etc. It’s much easier to do that. If you have you heart set on something you can’t afford, then it’ll be that much harder to scale back.
Yes weddings are expensive, but count yourself lucky that you’re getting 30K or whatever from your parents. That’s a LOT. Can you imagine spending that much money in one day on anything else? Just try to keep in mind this is a one day event.
A bride on here has been posting how her wedding is totaling $70K and she might be leaving her fiance soon because of all the stress. Is that worth it?
Post # 7
1. I definitely don’t think you come off as spoiled. Weddings ARE expensive and whether your budget is $40,000 or $2,000, you’re still going to have to prioritize, think logically, and have to cut some things. It’s definitely something I’ve been learning a lot through this process: but honestly, I really do think it’s a good thing to learn–I think the compromising/giving things up/prioritizing skills you learn from planning a wedding really will come in handy in other areas of your life and in your marriage!
2. As a budget bride, I’m learning quite a bit about prioritizing and deciding where to spend the money and what to cut. For instance, what matters most to my fiance and I is being able to invite all our family and friends, which is about 200 guests, feed them a good meal, and have time to socialize with them. Since that is a large guest list, we cut in other areas–we’re not having any flowers (I’m making all the centerpieces and our bouquets out of ribbon, which is time-consuming but very inexpensive compared to regular flowers!), our reception venue (a church gym) is very plain (but all the linens/chairs/tables, etc. are included!), we’re using a student photographer, etc.
3. I think the best way to go from daydreaming to actually planning is to remind yourself you’re not planning a wedding to win any contest, to have the most-re-pinned picture on pinterest, or to have those gorgeously enviable details that probably cost a fortune. You’re planning a wedding to create a meaningful day for you, your fiance, and your guests. And ANY extra trimmings you add are extra! So I would say focus on a FEW extra trimmings you like, ignore the rest, and remember that what’s going to matter when the day is said and done is the committment you had with your husband: and the celebration you shared with your family and friends, which can still be done on any budget!