(Closed) RANT! & What ways have your family tried to make your wedding about them?!?

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 16
Member
77 posts
Worker bee

I have an aunt just like this as well. She makes it well known that she thinks her children are God’s gift to mankind. Seriously, they can do no wrong in her eyes. Her son, my cousin who is 18ish months older than me, was a MENACE in high school. Seriously. Broke into houses, big partier, crashed cars, etc. My brother, who was also an idiot in high school, got caught drinking. ONCE. She still brings it up every chance she gets. She even had the audicity to tell my mom that she needs to check on my brother because she thought my brother was rebelling simply because he cut his hair into a very subtle mowhawk (his hair is very curly, and the longest part of his hair is no longer than an inch, if that). He’s currently working 25 hours a week and is enrolled in college, getting no less than a 3.5 GPA every semester. Um, what? Meanwhile, her nineteen year old daughter is up at school drinking and experienmenting with a lot of things. Not saying these are bad things, just a comparison. 

Her kids even see that she does it and they get SO embarassed. She is always in everyone’s buisness, the first to judge and spread gossip, and the last to offer any help/assistance.

She tries to force everyone into making changes for her and her family’s convenience and has no problem talking crap as soon as someone does something she doesn’t like. Crazy as it sounds, I know she loves her family, immediate and extended. She really, really does. She just has a very strange way of showing it. 

Sorry for the rant. I just can totally relate with you! You aren’t alone! Hang in there! Congratulations on your wedding! 

Post # 17
Member
783 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

My Future Mother-In-Law was my biggest concern. 90% of Fi’s family is from out of state, but I knew Future Mother-In-Law would give us a hard time. We do not like the summer and a summer wedding was out of the question. She come sup every summer and we assumed she’d complain it wasn’t during her visit (she did).

We are not changing anything. I feel it sets the tone for the future. Instead of complaining straight out, she’s very passiove aggressive when she doesn’t like something. Fiance and I don’t budge… now she keeps her mouth shut for the most part (VERY hard for her lol).

Post # 18
Member
1754 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

My dad tried to convince me to move the wedding to my hometown (rather than a town about 2 hours away in between my relatives and my fiance’s relatives), and I strongly suspect that it was because he didn’t want to have to pay for a hotel. In fact, I know that’s why, because he complained about hotel costs when he suggested moving it – even though the move would cost the same number of people to get rooms (just not him), and all of my fiance’s family would have to travel twice as far, so I don’t think he was concerned for guests. My hometown is also a pricier wedding location in general, which is what kept me from choosing it.

He’s not paying for the wedding and also only suggested moving locations AFTER I told him we had put down a reception deposit. He knew we were searching for a location for about a month and never made a peep before then. Definitely frustrating. 

Post # 19
Member
1754 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

View original reply
Megbee617:  omg, that’s like my Future Mother-In-Law. She wanted to invite people my fiancé had never heard of back when we were planning for 80 (paying ourselves)… I am not looking forward to telling her we’ve actually cut it down to 30!

Post # 20
Member
9825 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

Our only family drama so far (haven’t started properly planning yet) was FI’s cousin insisting that her daughter would be flower girl and her son would be ringbearer. Not asking (although it wasn’t in a conversation with Fiance or I, she said it to FMIL), but stating it like it was fact. This was a couple of months after we got engaged, so nearly three years ago now, I hope she has let go of the idea, although I doubt it. Here’s why I think she will still have the idea, although given the kids’ ages she might be insisting they be bridesmaid and groomsman by the time we get married. She has held a small grudge against my Future Mother-In-Law (who is her aunt, her mother is FMIL’s sister) for not having her as a bridesmaid in her courthouse no bridal party wedding nearly 25 years ago!

Sorry for everyone currently going through family wedding drama!

Post # 21
Member
88 posts
Worker bee

i have a semi distant cousin (first cousin but lives far away so I never see her) who’s sister got married last summer. Due to the timing I was happily able to attend and see my family and the younger sister (bride) asked me to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man since I was traveling all the way across the U.S. to be there. It was great catching up, I loved being a Bridesmaid or Best Man and I do talk to them a little more frequently now but older sister has been very short since I reccomended lot of ways to try and improve her life instead of just telling her she could come live with me and bf at the time… Not to go into too much detail but she hadnt worked since baby was born and was bitching hard about living with mom which I don’t have much patience for because if your parents are taking responsibility for your child you should be grateful for what you get or figure out how to change the situation (her mom is not abusive, it’s not a horrible situation, cousin is just a drama queen me didn’t want to get a job OR do the cooking and cleaning like her mom asked) and the whole wedding (her sister wedding) was what about me? What about me? her friend (older sis, not brides friend) bailed on doing hair day before the wedding so I did brides hair (beauty School drop out here) and she bitched because I didn’t have time to do bride, myself and her… It’s not about you!! I was going to help with hers because her friend was supposed to come do the bride! Maybe be glad you didn’t just fuck this up by trusting someone and having them no show for your sisters wedding!

 

so ff to now, I get engaged, call the grandparents and then text my cousins and her response is “woo! I’m a bridesmaid! And you better pick better dresses than sister did!” What the actual f?? Like no congratulations? just immediate demand? I have five female cousins, two way closer than her and her sister and one equally close and I don’t feel like I can just ask her so my Bridesmaid or Best Man list would go from 6 to 11…. Uhhhh, no. The she goes on fb and post a picture in a bridal salon “this is the dress I should’ve gotten to wear!” Again wtf?? I think that’s super ruse and would want to put her in the worst dress I could just to prove my point, it’s not about you! And personally I have zero desire to have someone like that in my bridal party!

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