- 6 years ago
- Wedding: February 2011
I can see both sides of this. I mean I think the reason that we mostly try to “suck it up” and push through is because for so long the societal narrative was that women shouldn’t work because they would take too much time off (or not be able to work as hard as a man) between being pregnant and having new babies all the time. So there was this push-back about how being pregnant did NOT mean we can’t keep up. That we can still work just as hard as a man, even though we have to deal with pregnancy and taking time off after birth, and because of that women made huge strides in terms of gaining equality in the work place.
So now that we’re “there” (or almost there, perhaps)… it’s a little hard to go back and say okay but every time I have a kid I’m going to be useless for basically a year (9 mo pregnancy + 3 mo leave). It’s sort of a huge burden to ask your employer to pay you the same to do less work and show up less often for a YEAR just because you dont’ feel good. I mean it sucks that pregnancy makes life harder, but it also doesn’t seem entirely fair to expect your employer to just compensate for that for a full year every time someone gets pregnant. And expecting them to do that would (rationally, I might add) lead them to prefer male employees because they don’t have that limitation.
So I think THAT is why we try to do it all and not complain. Does it suck? TOTALLY. I am 32 weeks and not really enjoying pregnancy. And it was especially awkward the first trimester when I’d be sitting in a meeting sweating and trying to quietly do deep breaths to avoid running from the room puking. But honestly life isn’t fair and this is sort of just the burden women take on if we want to be moms and also work. It’s why we are truly the stronger sex 🙂