(Closed) Rant: Why the unrealistic expectations of pregnant women??!!

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 31
Member
11324 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I can see both sides of this. I mean I think the reason that we mostly try to “suck it up” and push through is because for so long the societal narrative was that women shouldn’t work because they would take too much time off (or not be able to work as hard as a man) between being pregnant and having new babies all the time. So there was this push-back about how being pregnant did NOT mean we can’t keep up. That we can still work just as hard as a man, even though we have to deal with pregnancy and taking time off after birth, and because of that women made huge strides in terms of gaining equality in the work place. 

So now that we’re “there” (or almost there, perhaps)… it’s a little hard to go back and say okay but every time I have a kid I’m going to be useless for basically a year (9 mo pregnancy + 3 mo leave). It’s sort of a huge burden to ask your employer to pay you the same to do less work and show up less often for a YEAR just because you dont’ feel good. I mean it sucks that pregnancy makes life harder, but it also doesn’t seem entirely fair to expect your employer to just compensate for that for a full year every time someone gets pregnant. And expecting them to do that would (rationally, I might add) lead them to prefer male employees because they don’t have that limitation. 

So I think THAT is why we try to do it all and not complain. Does it suck? TOTALLY. I am 32 weeks and not really enjoying pregnancy. And it was especially awkward the first trimester when I’d be sitting in a meeting sweating and trying to quietly do deep breaths to avoid running from the room puking. But honestly life isn’t fair and this is sort of just the burden women take on if we want to be moms and also work. It’s why we are truly the stronger sex 🙂

Post # 32
Member
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

When you are used to having control over your body from bodily functions to your muscle strength, and everything in between, pregnancy is so opposite of all of that. I have okay days, but going to bed is a chore. Getting comfortable in bed leaves me winded. I wake up afraid of what I may feel like. I miss being able to sleep on my stomach, easily turn over at night, and walking without feeling like I may tip over at any moment. I’m so over the random backpain, and the excessive potty breaks.

I’m so glad Darling Husband and I have chosen to have both babies back to back so I don’t have to do this crap again. It sucks. I miss running, strength training, sweating from doing real activities, and drinking. I’m 18 weeks and can’t wait for the munchkin to get here so we can move on to #2.

Post # 33
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

My husband does the comparison thing.  His aunt worked all the way up to the day she went into labor.  His coworker worked until 2 weeks before she delivered (although felt crappy the whole time).  I’m working part time right now which is manageable.  My mother said she stopped working at 7 months pregnant due to nausea so I’m doing better than her.  Husband always points out that other people work full time up until the end.  I get it.  I know I couldn’t do it and hats off to them.

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