- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
I’m a BM for a wedding in a few weeks and I have drafted a speech to read out. I’m stuck on how to improve it from here so I thought I’d take to the hive for help. Please feel free to rip it to pieces!
(Names changed in case the bride is on here!)
I’m Lana and I’ve known Vanessa since 1997… and despite that, I’m still friends with her!
Thanks for laughing guys – When I found a website with tips on how to deliver a decent bridesmaids speech, and it said to open with a joke and apparently we’re all supposed to be at ease now that you’ve had a laugh. I don’t know about that but if you could keep laughing at any my lame jokes, that’d be great.
So Vanessa and I met when we were in 9th grade at East Belt High School together.
I had a monopoly on Vanessa’s friendship for a while there because early on in our high school career we decided we were far cooler than everyone else in our class – we were pretty much loners. Vanessa and I were in a leuage of our own. I can recall one time when I was spending a weekend down at Vanessa’s childhood home in Belfast when Vanessa and I came home from a walk down to the general store – the only place to walk to in Belfast, and Vanessa asked if anyone had called her for her.
(Vanessa’s mum’s) reply was “No, Lana is already here”.
I have a lot of jokes I could make about vanessa – some of which aren’t that appropriate for her wedding day, like the time she wet herself at the bowling alley, and we had to dry her jeans under the electric hand dryer, but apparently I need to keep my speech short, so I thought I better spend my limited time making sure Van knows how honoured I am to be part of your life, and part of their wedding. I speak for myself and for (other BM’s) when I say that is has been a pleasure being a part of your wedding preparations and all 3 of us are impressed by how organised and stress-free you’ve been.
Vanessa and Jacob, one of the reasons that I believe you are the perfect match is because you both have such strong character: You both have a wonderful circle of friends, and you easily make friends wherever you go. This is because you know how to have fun, you’re both extremely loyal and you’re not afraid of a bit of hard work or to help out a friend when it’s needed. There’s not much else anyone can ask for in a friend.
I know that the two of your are destined to have a beautiful life together, with many exciting chapters ahead. I know that you’ll both be loved and cherished, one another. I know that you have a thousand beautiful moments together, and I know that when necessary, your love will be fought for. Jacob, I can’t imagine a better match for Vanessa. I can remember the first time I met you at Outback Steak House and Blair – my husband and I – got into the car later that night and both agreed you’re a good bloke. I’m sure I’m not the only one in this room who is both happy and relieved to know that Vanessa will always be loved and cherished by you for the rest of your lives together.
Right, getting mushy so I’m going to wrap this up. Just finally, I know I said I’d hold off on the jokes but we’ll flag that idea. I’m going to leave you by reciting Jacob’s vows. But, I’m going to recite what Jacob’s vows would have been if Vanessa was allowed to write them. Here we go:
I Jacob, take you Vanessa as my lawfully wedded wife. From this day forward, i promise you these things:
- I will give you a generous shopping budget whenever Forever 21 has a sale
- I will massage your feet, even if, and when, they have running calices
- I will come to Raw Vegan Cafe with you and drink a carrot and beetroot juice. I might even pretend to like it.
- I will XX when you XX (I need to think of 1-2 more of these, any ideas?)
- Finally, I will think of you fondly as I work long, hard hours in the Califonia heat so that I can help support your expensive taste in dresses.
Do I need to do a toast here? The speech might end too abruptly if I don’t?
Thanks in advance!