Post # 1
After reading up on different topics, joys, situations, & emotional issues about this Special Group of Girls.. I figured this post could help clarify the expectations some Bee’s have. With that said:
If you could “rate” your BM(s) on a scale of 1 – 10 on these topics OR throughout the entire process, what would you give them???
If you are a Bridesmaid or Best Man or once were.. what would you rank yourself???
(poor) 1 – – – – – – – – 10 (awesome)
– excitement about your engagement
– general interest in wedding planning
– participation in bridal party activities
– cooperation with your decisions
– offering you help
– attitude throughout the process
– wedding day performance
– expectations met
What made you give this rating???
Post # 3
So far, all my BMs get a 10 except for one, who gets a 5, because she is being a lazy friend right now and it’s huring my feelings.
Post # 4
I’d give all of my bridesmaids a 10. Two of them aren’t as into wedding planning because they’re just not there yet (no serious boyfriends, etc)… but I think they do a really good job of faking it on my behalf 🙂
Post # 5
I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man once. I’d rate myself pretty low. I was 22 years old and in law school in another state. I didn’t really know what went in to being a Bridesmaid or Best Man, and I feel like I could have been more helpful. She never asked us to be involved in the planning though. I went to all of the events, but all of the BMs sort of complained about it, to be honest.
I’d rate everyone in my wedding party a 10 b/c they are all great people, and we don’t expect anything of them, except to show up on our day and celebrate. If they don’t show up or are no fun, they get zeros!
Post # 6
i cant rate my Bridesmaid or Best Man, becouse they havent even ask anything about the wedding planning process, or bridal showers, no help no interest.
Post # 7
– excitement about your engagement 10
– general interest in wedding planning 10
– participation in bridal party activities 10
– cooperation with your decisions 10
– offering you help 10
– attitude throughout the process 10
– wedding day performance 10
– expectations met 15
I guess I’m probably a way laid back bride, but my ladies were awesome! Both of them are mothers with 2 young kids so I really didn’t expect ANYTHING other then a hope that they would say yes and be able to come and stand up for me on my wedding day. Both not only did that, but took me dress shopping (I didn’t expect this because I gave them a color and told them to pick any dress that they wanted that they would be happy seeing themselves in pictures in). I loved going dress shopping with the 2 of them and I’m so glad I got to experience that part of it! Both ladies made sure to run their dress choices past me prior to purchasing them. Both ladies were there with advice or to listen/look at my projects when I asked.
Post # 8
Hmm, I would give different girls a different rating. I have six bridesmaids, and they each have a different level of interest and helpfulness for the wedding.
I don’t honestly expect too much from some of them – 3 are still in college, 1 is in grad school, 2 are also engaged, one has 2 little girls, etc. The one who has disappointed me the most is married, no kids, and no job. I just figured she’d have more time to help, but that’s life I guess.
Overall, I think I would pick a 5.
Post # 9
I have two great bridesmaids (BM 1&2) I would give 10s for everything. I have two other bridesmaids (BM3&4) who have been a bit of a struggle. We’re getting married in Mexico so obviously booking and paying for the trip was a huge priority.
Bridesmaid or Best Man 1&2 booked and paid months ago. Bridesmaid or Best Man 3&4 have made me want to rip my hair out. Bridesmaid or Best Man 3 cancelled her reserved seat and has insisted she can get a better insider deal through her dad’s company (we’re already saving $750 a person because of group booking) so right now she isn’t booked to come and we’re 5 months away. Bridesmaid or Best Man 4 booked her trip, but got into an ugly breakup with her man and couldn’t pay for the rest of her trip as a result. Granted it’s a good reason, but now Fiance and I are out $1000 that could go toward other things in our tight budget 🙁
Bridesmaid or Best Man 1&2 have been wonderful about helping to find me addresses, looking at dresses, finding cute ideas for me. Both of these girls call me up or message me regularly “just to check in.”
Bridesmaid or Best Man 3 has disappeared off the face of the earth and I have no idea when we last spoke. Bridesmaid or Best Man 4 is a wreck and is adding stress, not support, to my wedding planning.
At least I can say that 50% of my BMs are there to help. Lets hope the next couple of months improve for Bridesmaid or Best Man 3&4 or I might just go crazy before the big day even happens!!
Post # 10
@Naiexoxo: I’m sorry, things will get better. Hopefully reading everyones experiences can help you get your thoughts together. Just try to stay positive::: it’s our time to shine anyway!
Post # 11
My BM’s all get a 10 🙂 Even the ones that weren’t ‘into’ wedding planning pulled it together for me and really did so much to make me feel special. I get kind of emotional thinking about it. I hear horror stories about bad BM’s and I’m just so thankful to have such wonderful people in my life.
The first time I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man (I was 18) I give myself a 3 out of 10. I had NO idea what I was supposed to do and definitely didn’t care enough or appreciate the fact that the bride was being really generous by asking me to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. So I was probably a lot of work for the Maid/Matron of Honor, who was amazing. I did, however, do what I was told and show up to all the events, so that’s why I don’t give myself a 0.
The 2nd and 3rd times I was engaged, so I was much better, I give myself at least a 9. I helped organize and showed up to all the events, supported the bride emotionally and physically with any projects and never complained (outside of WB).
Post # 12
Wow!! It’s great to see all of those high ratings. I hope we all end up having a positive experience w/ our entire Bridal Party. However, I totally feel the ones who don’t. I’m having somewhat of a rough start in trying to “rate” some right now (not w/ everyone but just a few) on certain topics. lol, I have all the flavors that BM’s can come in: single ones, married ones, in a long-term relationship, & very young.. all have been in weddings though. I have quite a few weddings under my belt. I’ve also been a Bridesmaid or Best Man & Maid/Matron of Honor many times.. maybe that’s why I compare my general interest & detail back then to theirs now.
it’s finally my turn.. OUR turn!!! Staying positive & focused on what really matters is sometimes hard for us girls.. it just comes with the whole “girl” thing. We’re all sensitive creatures & even more so when it comes to weddings for some odd reason. (if anyone wants to elaborate on that.. lol, feel free)
What I have learned so far:
Logically speaking, no one is going to be as interested in your wedding as yourself… & Emotionally speaking, sometimes people are not the friend that you are them…
Thanks for the ratings::: would like to see more & hear some suggestions… this is kinda fun
Post # 13
1) excitement about your engagement – depends on the bridesmaid, most of them get a 10 but one of them gets a 7 because she literally said “it should have been me!”
2) general interest in wedding planning – one gets a 10, the rest get maybe a 6
3) participation in bridal party activities – 10ish…they all came to the events and helped planned them but boy was there a boatload of drama involved
4) cooperation with your decisions – 10
5) offering you help – only one gets a 10 the rest get a 4 or 5
6) attitude throughout the process – 6 or 7
7) wedding day performance – 5, I was very disappointed
8) expectations met – 6-8 on average (I had 7 bridesmaids)
Post # 14
@PitBulLover: ha! your numbers are very similar to mine right now.. I have a while to go though (fingers crossed)
@mcnetn3: aww, my feelings were kinda hurt too.. but cheer up!
Post # 15
my bms all had big reactions when I told them, especially my moh..
they’ve all be great so far except moh not loving the hairstyle I chose for the bms.. but they’ve all been great and I hope they continue to be great!
Post # 16
@kahn-dees: If I could go back I would have either not had any bridesmaids or just had one. It was really hard having 7 bridesmaids and at times it was not very fun. I had envisioned bridesmaids in a totally different light and they definitely did not live up to what I was expecting. At first it was hard to come to terms with, but now Im just realizing that their lacking will help me be a great bridesmaid if I am ever asked!