Post # 1
I haaaaate the word “fiance”! Ok, I just needed to get that out.
Since some people find that confusing, here’s why: English is not my first language, Russian is, and words with that kind of ending are completely unheard of in Russian. Even native English speakers seem to cringe at it, so I know I’m not the only insane one.
I had no problem calling FI my “boyfriend” after I got engaged, but it has come to my attention that it confuses people when they see a ring but hear “boyfriend.” I don’t want to give the idea that I’m not crazy about my future husband or that my ring (as the symbol of our commitment) is fake by calling him boyfriend. I’m also starting to dislike the two parts, “boy” (he’s a man) and “friend” (doesn’t even begin to describe it) individually.
BUUUUUT aside from hating the word “fiance”, I also dread the possibility of giving the impression that I’m trying to draw attention to myself and my wedding when I mention him. I seriously get uncomfortable about gratuitous attention and really don’t want people to think that I’m asking for it (or to give it to me!)
So, like-minded bees, what do you find yourself choosing? This problem pretty much only happens in conversations with acquaintances who don’t know his name and probably don’t care, so let’s assume this options doesn’t exist ( at least without the much more awkward intro of explaining who he is and then his name)
Post # 3
@Taeyers: I hate the word fiance also and I still call him my boyfriend. It just makes it easier. I think I will feel much better when I get to say husband 🙂
Post # 4
“Partner” works for me. I don’t like boyfriend or fiance.
Post # 5
@cdncinnamongirl: I’ll add it, thanks!
Post # 6
FI disliked it in the beginning as well. He used to call me his girlfriend. It drove his mother up a wall. Haha. So he started using it or called me his wife to be.
Post # 7
I think I sound pretentious saying fiance, so I avoided it. There were times I had to say it, but… ugh… it is a strange word.
Post # 8
@Taeyers: I fel the same way. Hate the “F” word and rarely say it but when I do I feel as if people will think I’m wanting to be questioned about the wedding/marriage.
Post # 9
@Taeyers: I feel like I am being judged when I say fiance. There are so many women who gloat when they finally have the opportunity to use that word…and I don’t want to be associated with that ugly stereotype. I love my FI…but I don’t love people thinking I’m a wedding crazed b-word.
Post # 10
You know, I didn’t mind fiance in and of itself. It was a weird transition, but for the sake of being correct, I said it. But I really didn’t like the fact that whenever I said ‘fiance’ it sounded like I was trying to bring up my wedding. People act like they’re obligated to comment when you say fiance vs boyfriend.
Post # 11
I personally am a big fan of the word fiance. I think it is fun to say and it is also nice to be able to call him something other than my boyfriend. We’ve been together for a few years now and it was always awkward in a professional setting when I’d refer to him as my boyfriend. I felt like a teenager. I would call him my significant other to avoid that before we got engaged.
Post # 12
ive always called him bf lol but once we moved in together he started calling me his wife so i call him husband when i talk about him to other people lol
Post # 13
I like the Spanish word: prometido (prometida for a woman). “My promised one/one who is/has promised.”
Spanish falls a little short in other areas, though. It uses the same word, novia, for both “girlfriend” and “bride.”
How would you feel about “husband-to-be?” Too contrived?
I don’t mind fiance’ in and of itself. I do get twitchy when people don’t make the fiance/fiancee distinction correctly. *sigh*
Post # 14
I called FI my boyfriend once, he got seriously irritated…he wanted the title upgrade. I love it though, even if sometimes I feel like it can be a little pretentious, almost? I’m glad not to be a girlfriend anymore 🙂
Post # 15
How about referring to him as your future husband?
Post # 16
I always say boyfriend because, like you, I don’t want a lot of attention placed on the fact that I’m getting married. My situation was a little different tho because we have been engaged over 3 years with our intent to originally get married in March of 2010. I hated explaining to ppl that I wasn’t sure when I was going to married now and why I didn’t get married already and blah blah blah. I say boyfriend. My fiance doesn’t care what I call him. It really, really, really irks me tho when ppl correct me and say “don’t you mean your fiance??”………