- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014 - Italiano's Humble
my limbs still fall asleep, HARD. I rarely have an appetite, but I’m not sick. One day I’m constipated, and feel like I’m practicing for that nonexistent vaginal birth, then I can’t stay out the bathroom. Can’t sleep “on time”. Started taking melatonin, took one the other night at around 11p, looked at the clock out of curiosity, it was 0546. wtf??? oh and sex? pfft, what’s that? I’m either too tired for it, OR, and omg this is nothing about my FH, but it’s like my hormones start convincing me I’m tired so I YAWN! Or, I get BORED!!! We generally have an awesome sex life, and thank the Lord for such a patient loving man.
I stay tired, but can’t sleep at all. With DS, I had the BEST pregnancy. great appetite, good sleeping(I did get days/nights reversed for a month, but I was still sleeping!), tons of energy(including just me and my 2 siblings, who were 10 and 14 then, moving my whole house just us!), I had creativity, everyone’s birthday was a thing that year lol.
This time, I have plenty of events going on, and not a creative bone in my body. I was showing fh my centerpiece inspiration and he said I didn’t look as though I liked it. I realized then, I was looking at it with disgust! WHAT is going on? I have to make my MOH’s seashell bouquet next week(trial run, wedding is in April), and I’m like “nope, fk it”…I haven’t told her that lol, b/c I know I’ll do it! But it’s almost like I’m BPD right now! FH graduates in June, and I intended on having a BBQ with hsi parents help for his birthday/graduation together. I ain’t even bothered to ask them, or even think about it. In fact, I don’t even think about the baby. I know I’m pregnant. And I want allot of the wedding stuff done first, so we can relax and enjoy the birth and afterwards, etc. But, nothing in me even looks for baby stuff. Names, sure. Stuff, NOPE.
UGHHHHHHH…I feel horrible! This wasn’t planned, but we’re happy, and we’re stable enough for it! It’s just like, one day I woke up a B!tch!