Post # 1
So I searched for this topic but all of the threads I found were years old, and didn’t address this specific question.
My parents are helping us financially with the wedding. About 40-50% of the total cost. His parents are not contributing at all. Which is fine, I don’t expect anything from anyone. BUT here’s my question – normally at the rehearsal dinner, you hand out your bridal party and parent gifts. Since his parents aren’t contributing, I don’t plan to get them a gift. Having said that, is it inappropriate to give my parents their gift at the rehearsal dinner? Do you think his parents would be hurt? Or do you think they already know not to expect a gift, since they didn’t contribute?
If you think giving my parents their gift at the Rehearsal Dinner is rude, when would you do it?
Post # 2
I think either get both sets of parents gifts or give your parents their gift in private.
Post # 3
The gift you give your parents at the Rehearsal Dinner is not based on their financial contribution to your wedding- the same as the gifts you give the wedding party.
The gift is to thank them for their support and encouragement of you as an individual- raising you, teaching you right from wrong, supporting you in your ambitions and your choices. It is also to thank them for their support of the two of you as a couple- and that does not mean financially.
It would be incredibly rude and hurtful to acknowledge one set of parents and not the other. If you are not going to gift them both relatively equally, I suggest you do your gift giving in private, otherwise it is sure to impact your relationship with your FIL’s.
Post # 5
There is no rule or tradition that you have to hand out gifts at the rehearsal dinner. That said, I agree that if you give a gift to your parents, it should be based on the role in your lives from birth, not on their financial contribution to your wedding. I would do this in private, regardless.
Post # 6
I agree with PPs. I’ve never heard of people giving their parents gifts for contributing to the wedding. I was always of the understanding that they were to thank them for raising you and supporting you up to this point. I think it would be extremely hurtful to give your parents a gift and not his.