- 9 years ago
I am so sorry to hear all is not well for you newlyweds and I feel for you personally, having been there myself…but your husband has a problem. All the signs are there. Many of your responses from people were right on…some were a little naive. Drinking every night and thinking it’s normal…IS a dependency problem/potential addiction. Having been married to two alcoholics in the past (one who eventually died of cirrhosis), having been active in the AlAnon program, and knowing a lot about addiction and dependency (and ENABLING), his denial and defenseiveness are clear indications of a potentially serious problem which will effect your marriage ultimately if it doesn’t change. You – personally – cannot make him stop or change. You can talk to him, encourage him to get help…but YOU are the one in the end who will have to make adjustments and changes. He will not change until he admits he has a problem. I sincerely suggest that you become more educated in alcoholism and learn how to cope with it. You are in a precarious situation at this point. Whomever said "it is not your fault" was right on. Addictive personalities will always blame something-anything on whomever/whatever they can for their problems – except themselves.
I sincerely wish you the best. I’m sorry the beginning of what should be a blissful time in your life…isn’t exactly how you’d planned it. Hang in there. Get some help for yourself and try to make the best of the situation until you know what to do next (and if you seek help/education for yourself, you WILL know how to cope and what you need to do). Karen