Post # 1
Over a ago my fiance and I (together 6 years now) were planning a huge 400 person wedding. The month before wedding, we had been having many problems in our relationship and I ended up cheating on him with a coworker and lying to him and family about it. We called off wedding and the affair came out weeks later, I ended up hospitalized and was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. We got back together when I got out of the hospital and we have worked out all of our issues and I’m stable with medication and therapy and have been for nearly a year.
He just gave me my ring back and we are talking about making plans in the future to be married.
I know now that I would never want a huge wedding and nearly nothing like before. Many people in our family and friends were hurt by everything that happened and I’m not sure how to go about making new plans. I understand that some of his friends/family still have some resentment toward me, and while it hurts I can deal because I know we are meant for each other and I will never make the same mistakes.
Etiquette-wise, do I still have to invite everyone on the original guest list?
Also, we were pressured into a lot of things by both of our parents. How do we tell them no to their own plans and their “required” (100+ each) guest list?
Post # 3
Sounds like you have had a rough go… I might recommend a very small wedding or elopement and leave many (if all) the naysayers out of the planning mix. If you take control and financially cover the costs on your own, this often gives you a little more footing to stand on your own and do things your way.
Post # 4
I agree. Take the stress out of things and elope. You definitely don’t have to keep your huge original guest list.
Post # 5
how about splitting the “wedding ceremony” and the reception. Small intimate wedding and then a party to celebration your new health, new committment with those that support you?
Post # 6
Are both of your parents helping to pay for the wedding? If not, simply tell them you can’t afford to pay for their “required” guests. If they are helping, then tell them you do not want a big wedding this time around. You want to focus on your renewed relationship and the marriage, not the crazyness of planning a huge wedding again.
I like the PP’s suggestion of eloping, or of having a small intimate wedding, and having a big party seperately. That way you can get away with have the best of both worlds and everyone can be happy.
Post # 7
I would assume that everyone who got an invite before would expect another one. Did you recieve gifts before? did you send them back? If gifts were sent, I would find it really off if you didnt invite those persons again. Feelings will be hurt if everyone is not invited but you have to do what is right for you. Elope, it sounds like the best option
Post # 8
I would elope and avoid the drama altogehter.
Post # 9
I also agree I think leave all the stress and the disapproving looks behind and do a romantic dw and honeymoon just for the two of you!!