(Closed) Re-engaged after cancelling wedding

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

first off, this is a completely different engagement, so no, you don’t have to invite everyone on your original list.  in terms of the parental invites, unfortunately, a lot of that depends on who is financing.

Post # 4
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

No you do not have  to invite all the same people

Who is paying for the wedding? If just you and your Fiance are, I’d dictate to the parents that you each get x number of invites.

However if the parents are paying, it’s harder to tell them they can’t invite certain people.

Finally, why don’t you elope? Or have a very small destination wedding, so it’s really about the two of you?

Post # 5
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

You don’t have to invite all the same people. In fact, given the circumstances I’d imagine it would be more appropriate to have it be a more intimate event.

Post # 6
Member
1571 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@KatyElle: I with you. Well said.

Post # 8
Member
3847 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

@KatyElle:  Me too!  Given the past, I would think it would be best to have a beautiful destination wedding and avoid weird moments so that you can enjoy your day.

Post # 9
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I agree I think the best would be to have an intimate wedding – it sounds like you and your Fiance would prob enjoy this more – and it eliminates all the emotions that your guest may be feeling from loosing possible money from your first engagement.

Post # 10
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I don’t have anything to add because PP have already said it.  But I just wanted to say congratulations and I’m so glad you’re feeling better and getting married!  I suffer from Bi-Polar II as well and I know how difficult it can make your life at times.

So, congrats and I wish you well:)

Post # 11
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I agree with everything else. You want people there who support you and are happy for you on that day and not thinking back about what happeend. I would have something smaller, or perhaps do a great destination wedding.  You are under no circumstances to invite anyone from before. (However, if you kept presents than maybe)

Post # 12
Member
7416 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Glad you that you worked through your issues. Since your both paying, I think its fine to take the lead on who you both want to invite. Probably the pressure to originally have such a large guest list didn’t help the first time around, so keep it simple this time.

Post # 13
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree with everyone else who said you don’t have to invite everyone on the original list. In fact, I’d go so far as to say you SHOULDN’T. I definitely feel like the most appropriate thing to do is to have a very small, intimate wedding (like, under 20 people) or elope. Going forward with the planning, I think it’s important to not assume that anything your or his parents offered to help with is still a standing offer.

Post # 14
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

First off, CONGRATS!!!  I also want to congratulate you on managing your problem well. 🙂  Being bi-polar isn’t easy and I know someone who is bi-polar.  I’m sooo glad you’re doing so well!!!  And I’m glad to hear you and your Fiance have worked through it all and are stronger than ever!!!!  

Now, as to the problem of the invites!  Firmly tell the parents you are NOT having a big wedding.  Give each a set number (if you’re feeling REALLY generous and want them to have any say) and say “no more or WE will cut people”.  

If you aren’t feeling so generous, you two can pick and choose who YOU want and your family can just deal.  That’s what my Fiance and I are doing.  (I only listened to my mom when she mentioned people I forgot and, had I remembered, would’ve invited…)

A destination wedding is also a great idea!  I stumbled across several packages in my state for really small intimate “destination/elopement” weddings.  The max number of guests was around 15-20 depending on the place. 🙂  There were some that was JUST for the bride and groom!!!

good luck!!! and I wish you both the best! 🙂

Post # 15
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Yeah I would also say its not really necessary to invite everyone that was on the previous list!

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