Post # 1
DH & I will most likely not find out the gender of our baby, so we’re trying to figure out both a girl and a boy name. We have narrowed it down to two boy names that are very different and we both just love them. But when we’ve told our friends on TWO different occasions their first response was to basically SCREAM at us “oh my god that’s horrible, why do you hate your child?” I just don’t understand, is there no nicer way to tell your FRIENDS that you are worried about them naming their child that (if there’s a legitimate reason)? DH says it’s because the majority of our friends are white and our baby will be mixed (half white half black) and that they’re probably expecting a stereotypical “white” name. I just don’t understand how people can be so oblivious to how rude they’re being.
Has anyone dealt with this? Did it make you rethink your name choices? And how did you deal with it?
Post # 2
Very rude. A few of my friends have given thier kids names I don’t care for but I would never say anything to them! But a lot of people think everyone wants to hear thier opinion. This is why when we have kids we won’t be telling anyone the names we are considering until after it’s on the birth certificate. People are less likely to give unwanted opinions once the decision is already made.
Out of curiosity what are the names?
Post # 3
People are jerks sometimes. Sorry your friends are being rude to you!
Post # 4
Yea, I think we’re keeping them to ourselves from now on. They’re Tyrion Alexander (DH’s name is Tyrus and he likes how close Tyrion is) and Bartholomew Olliver (NN: Barry or Ollie).
Thanks. It was a real eye opener for me.
Post # 5
I love the names you chose, and I’m a huge name nerd. Bartholomew is even on the cusp of being “in,” I’d say you’re ahead of the times 😉
Just don’t share the names with people. I don’t because I know my choices are quite odd. Once baby is here, most people should keep their thoughts to themselves. But those people are still jerks.
Post # 6
The lesson in this is to not tell anyone. Everyone has an opinion so if you don’t want to hear any, don’t tell.
My best friend didn’t tell me her daughter’s name until after she was born. I will follow suit
Post # 7
TBH I wouldn’t consider ‘Tyrion’ a typical AA name so much as a typical Game of Thrones name. ‘Tyrion’ was uniquely coined in a very popular fantasy universe, making the name forever associated with Peter Dinklage and a character who’s known for being clever, yes, but for being drunk, a whoremonger, and the murderer of his own father. Watch GOT and be sure you want your possible son to be associated with that for all his life, because he will be, and he might not want that. I would say the same to anyone considering a name used in popular culture, but especially because this name is SO unique and the series and character is SO popular and ingrained in people’s minds. Admittedly, Tyrion does have a great ring to it – it’s just – the character, ya know?
That said, your name is your choice and those people were very rude. I think Bartholomew Olliver is much more neutral and a solid choice, but it’s not my kid and not my choice.
Post # 8
This is exactly why DH and I won’t be telling anyone our baby names until baby is actually here – I think people are less likely to say anything if baby has already been named and it’s “too late”, plus we don’t feel it’s anyones business but our own what we choose to name our children. We already have a name picked out for our first daughter and first son (we start TTC in June) but we haven’t told a soul.
I’m sorry your friends reacted the way they did – some people have no tact and just want to push their opinion on everyone. FWIW, I don’t mind your names – don’t let your friends get you down!
Post # 9
I think friends tend to be the worst because they think that they’re there to offer their thoughts in a way that general acquaintance can’t. So if you’re not into opinions, I’d keep your names quiet. Plus, it’s a lot easier to criticize a name in the abstract than when it’s attached to a cute little baby.
FWIW, I love Bartholomew. 🙂 I think that’s adorable for a baby boy, and has some excellent nicknames.
Post # 10
I’m really surprised you got such strong reactions to those names. They aren’t names you hear every day but they are definitely recognizable and not at all deserving of the reaction you got! I’m sorry your friends were so rude!
Post # 11
It was very important to me that my husband and I did not tell anyone else the names we were thinking of using. This is why. People think they are allowed to be jerks about it because the baby isn’t born yet. Anyway, as a side note, I don’t think race is an issue with your friends. They are probably reacting because Tyrion is a major Game of Thrones character name. (Actually, so is Ollie, sort of…) I don’t know why that would bother people, because I actually know tons of kids named Arya after that show. No idea what people don’t like about the rest. Use whatever name you want!
Post # 12
Simple solution- don’t share.
Post # 13
Personally, and I don’t speak for everyone, Arya/Ollie is different because they were names before Game of Thrones. Although a lot of names used in the series are pretty common or derivative (Robb, Jaime, Jeyne, Olivar/Ollie, Saoirse to Cersei), Tyrion is one that is fully associated only with the series. It’s not like I’d personally give a kid flak for it, but I imagine a guy named Tyrion would be sick of references to whores and crossbows by the time he left high school, since it’s literally the only time anyone might have heard it. I feel the same cringe factor when I hear of girls getting named Khaleesi.
Post # 14
DH & I really don’t care about the connection to GOT. Tyrion is actually one of DH’s favorite characters on the show (we binged it after finding out the name was on there) and I think it actually cemented his love for the name even more. I’m more worried about people trying to use the nickname Bart for Bartholomew and thinking its a reference to Bart Simpson. But I figure I’ll just cut any chance of that nickname taking off when we get to that bridge. A simple, that’s not his name, please use NN if you’d like to use a nickname for him. Also, I completely forgot that Ollie was even a character on the show.
Post # 15
I’m not saying *every* Arya is named after Game of Thrones, but I personally know of 3 babies born in the past 5 years with the name. All to couples who watch/read Game of Thrones. And I had never met an Arya before. So I do think there is a correlation, at least in my circles.
I personally wouldn’t name my kid Tyrion, but if OP and her husband like the name, they have a right to use it without getting tormented. I do think it is good to know what the name is associated with before using it. I named my daughter Chloe, which is a name I have liked for a very long time. People have come up to me and asked if I named my child after one of the Kardashians on reality tv, because one of their names is Chloe or something similar. I don’t watch their show at all, but that is apparently an association some people make. Doesn’t bother me, because many people have that name. I agree that the Tyrion association is super strong, because it is a more unique name.