(Closed) Reactions to baby names… ugh

posted 4 years ago in Names
Post # 31
Member
425 posts
Helper bee

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kharpe6 :  Definitely keep your potential names to yourself from now on. I learned this after having the opposite interaction. A couple of friends asked me if I had thought about baby names, and after listing my favorites, they said things like “Yeah, those are great, I love X, Y, and Z, I could definitely see myself naming my kid that as well.” >.<

Now, I don’t believe in reserving or calling dibs on names. However, I personally don’t want to give people in my life ideas for names that I would like to use one day only to have them use them first, if that makes sense. I’m not at all offended if we come up with the same idea independently, I just don’t want to be the one feeding them my ideas.

Your friends may have had good intentions, but they clearly did not express them in a helpful way. It’s inappropriate of them to be yelling at you over baby names. Ultimately, you and your husband will decide what you want to name your child.

Having said that, I would urge you to consider Alexander Tyrion instead of Tyrion Alexander–this way you could still use Tyrion, but your child would have a more professional first name.

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pearlrose :  With regard to that example, Aria is a pretty popular name, so my guess is that Arya is much more accessible to GoT fans because there is already an established name that sounds the same.

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theatrejulia :  Surely, you must be referring to Beelzebub, which is another name for the devil. Bartholomew was one of the Twelve Apostles and became a saint.

Post # 32
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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kharpe6 :  I think I just wouldn’t tell many people of our choices because of what you and many others go through. I think it’s ok to have an opinion if soemone tells you, but not be so rude about it. Like in the case of your names, I like the name Tyrion, although of course I associate it with GoT now (the character is great though, despite that he is a scoundrel!) I don’t like Bartholomew, for the association with “The Simpsons”, and also I don’t like the shortened “Bart” as kids might find it funny to rhyme with “fart”.

I have friends who have told one close friend they don’t like name after baby was born and named. He and his partner named his daughter Cinnamon, and one of his best mates told him that this was an awful choice and almost like child abuse – he doesn’t really have much respect for the couple anymore after they named their child! Even less when the woman had twins next and named them equally horrible names!

Anyway, I digress! It’s your choice and it is not like you have chosen anything crazy.

Post # 33
Member
4108 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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kharpe6 :  My take: If you are asking me for my honest opinion, I will tell you my honest opinion. I’m not going to be rude about it or try and make you feel bad, but if you’re naming your child Antelope and I’m asked what I think, I’m going to tell you. A friend of mine was pregnant and wanted to name her daughter Brynnleey <— with that spelling. She asked my opinion and I told her. 

However, if she had come to me and said, “We are naming our daughter Brynnleey and we love it so much and can’t wait to name her!” I probably wouldn’t have said anything. I mean, DH and I would have talked some shit in the car between just us, but never to anyone else and definitely not to her. 

Going forward, don’t share. But also, when you do choose a name that is way off the beaten path, expect a little push back. Yes, your friends and family should love it as much as you and should at least show enough tact to smile and then change the subject. However, it’s a bit unrealistic to expect everyone to be as over the moon about the name as you are. Everyone has different tastes and what’s awesome to one person is horrendous to another. Personally, if a friend of mine came to me and said, “We are thinking of naming our son Tyrion, what do you think?” I’d have some opinions. However, I’m the person naming my future daughter Clementine, so take all of my advice and perspective with a grain of salt. 

Post # 34
Member
8009 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Bartholomew is a great name.

Post # 35
Member
1547 posts
Bumble bee

I agree with PP who said consider Alexander Tyrion. I love GOT and I actually like the name Tyrion too. I dont think children will tease him for it because likely they wont have seen it. BUT it is our generation who will be hiring him for jobs in the future and although I would love to say hiring managers arent discriminating against names, all research shows that they are and its our our generation that will associate the name with GOT. Ive read so many times that a name must past the doctor, lawyer, president test. I think with switching the names, you could still call him Tyrion as a nickname and casual name but having his professional name as Alexander will probably be better work wise.

 Ultimately its not mine, or your friends or anyone elses baby. Its your baby and if you are set on those names then stick with them but I think people just wanted to make sure you were aware of reactions to it now rather than later. People can be awful with judging baby names because names themselves are so personal and remind people of specific events or people in their lives with those names. Ive always been told that once you decide on a name, dont tell anyone until the baby is born because by then their opinions dont matter. 

Post # 36
Member
10603 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

My friends would tell me flat out, but DH and I aren’t sensitive and thats just the sort of relationship we have with our friends, we’re very blunt.

FWIW, I don’t think Tyrion (i’d assume you were big GOT fans) or Bartholomew are weird names. If anything, the spelling of Oliver with two L’s is weirder to me but maybe i’ve just not seen it like that before.

Post # 37
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Yes, I totally agree with this method from

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MrsMeowton. Someone asked me the other day what I thought of her baby name, Saphire Blue (spelled that way) and I was honest that I didn’t care for it at all. Had she said “this is what we chose and I love it!” I would not have said a word. 

I don’t plan on telling anyone the name we’ve chosen either–I don’t particularly want to hear any “oh…..really????” —especially from my mother!!! hahahaha

Post # 38
Member
4099 posts
Honey bee

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kharpe6 :  If you are dead set on your names, screw what anyone else says. My husband and I fell in love with one name, and planned on using it. We didn’t hide what the name was when people asked, and we didn’t ask other’s opinions either. We were just matter of fact “her name will be xyz”, and nobody had the guts to say anything rude. If we had asked opinions they probably would have. Either way, if you love the names then I say embrace them and don’t give a crap what anybody else says.

Post # 39
Member
6398 posts
Bee Keeper

People would say our names would be considered “white” even though our children are also mixed.

I love your names as well, but we are keeping our names a secret because I don’t want to run the risk of people making us feel bad for the names we chose.

Post # 40
Member
9055 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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kharpe6 :  that’s the exact reason we aren’t telling anyone! However for what it’s worth Barry is totally on my list – I think it’s such a cute name!  🙂

Post # 41
Member
9830 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Just don’t tell anyone. People will ALWAYS have an opinion on your names. Guaranteed.

We didn’t tell anyone dd’s name before she was born. I know for sure my mom hated it, but tough shit. She wasn’t about to say anything after she was already born.

I do make the association with GoT for Tyrion, but it’s not a deal breaker to me. GoT didn’t make that name up either, there were people naming their kids that long before the series. Not many, but some lol.

Post # 42
Member
819 posts
Busy bee

I would never tell someone straight out that I don’t like the name they’ve chosen for their child– whatever floats their boat is fine! I’m sorry your friends are behaving so rudely. My fiance and I have some names picked out, and while I don’t think they’re not particularly “out there,” I’ve sworn him to secrecy. No one is going to know anything until they read it on the official birth certificate!

Post # 43
Member
597 posts
Busy bee

My name is pretty unteasable, so no one ever made fun of me for it. Instead, they were just complete assholes to me for other equally stupid reasons. If kids are going to be jerks, they’ll find a way. Don’t let the whole “teasing on a playground” scenario sway you.

Post # 45
Member
9524 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

don’t tell anyone.  we were team green.  we had decided on a boy name but deciding between 2 middle names.  we didn’t come up with girl names until i was in L&D.

we didn’t tell a soul what our names were. DH and I were naming our child and didn’t care about other peoples’ opinions. when people asked, we said you will find out after the baby is born.

after the fact, my mom asked me what our girl choices were. she told me they were horrible names and glad we had a boy.  so i said they are not horrible names and you would have loved your granddaughter and her name if that was what the baby was.

our son’s name is Elliott and our girl choices were Eloise and Evie.

 

 

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